Was it a relapse?

Whether it was a relapse depends on the type of reboot he was opting for. I went for PM and so O with my wife was allowed. If he went for that then it is not a relapse. Buy if he's on hard mode then I'm afraid it was and he'll need to reset his counter if he's keeping one.

In either case watch out for 'the chaser effect's. Masturbating to porn is way more tempting the day after orgasm. But if he knows that's coming he can be prepared

 

You both need to decide. Hard mode means no orgasm, so you should abstain from sexual intercourse. If you choose No-PM then sex is okay and orgasm too. It is pointless to have sex, but avoid orgasm.

 

The concept of relapse is a highly subjective one. It depends highly on your own personal goals.

If you choose to follow the rule set of "No PMO", you must abstain from Porn, Masturbation (includes edging) and Orgasm. So, technically having an orgasm with a partner would be considered a relapse per definition. I think this is garbage, which is why I don't follow this standard rule set.

The main point of NoFap is to get rid of porn, so that we can experience real sex again. Making real sex look like something to avoid is counter-productive in my opinion. That's why I only consider it a relapse, when I voluntarily look at porn or Psubs to get aroused or when I masturbate to porn-like fantasies. Basically, you could say I just avoid any artifical sexual stimulation. Everything that is real, is okay.

That's not particularly true. Having sex without orgasm ("Karezza") is often used to heal faster from PIED. According to other people, it can help tremendously.

 

It is not garbage, it is simply hard mode. You can choose easy mode if you wish and only avoid porn and masturbation.

 

I know. What I'm saying is, that hard mode doesn't differentiate between an orgasm with a partner and a self-induced orgasm. I have my problems with that, which is why I called it garbage. To be fair though, garbage might be a little bit too strong of a word.

 

If your boyfriend has had an orgasm with you, that's certainly not a relapse.

A relapse is basically returning to old habits, or engaging in harmful activities. Then, if you have certain rules that you want to follow in your reboot, and you break these rules, you commit a reset. This means starting to count from zero without doing any more harm to your progress.

 

Isn't that "normal mode"? The difference between whether or not to have orgasms with your partner doesn't sound like a transition from easy to hard mode. Anyway, for a lot of people here these are practically the same, as they don't have, can't find, or don't want to look for a partner at the moment.

Sure enough, avoiding orgasms with your partner would be hard, but for a porn addict, abstaining from porn and masturbation is already the hard part.

 

I dont get it why people avoid the orgasm when having sex under no pmo...

You are avoiding all stimulation so your receptors can heal, regular sex still feeds your receptors, besides;

Having sex without orgasming is probably worse because the dopamine-level is still elevated after intercourse, having an orgasm gives you prolactin which lowers the dopamine but makes you feel satisfied.

Also there is tons of bullshit on this forum that the sperm-retention is bringing some kind of godly powers, its just your receptors that is getting to normal levels, you will then feel confidence, motivation to do stuff etc.

This takes 1-3 weeks, however if you have been deep in the shit so your sexual pathways is like a highway, you can still experience PIED etc for months afterwards until they weaken and is replaced by natural pathways(getting attracted to scent, personalities etc.

It doesnt always fit everybodys relationships but no doubt abstaining from P,M,O and any fantisizing for a great period of time will be most effective.

 

Semantics

 

I would say no. It wasn't an artificial fantasy, it was with a human being.