Finally acted out with a transwoman. * Possibly triggering posts ! *

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Brohime, May 13, 2019.

  1. Brohime

    Brohime Fapstronaut

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    I am so so sorry to let you all down but last night I was surfing
    Leolist and found the hottest trans girl. Txted her, set it up and went to her hotel room. I had anal sex with her and then she had anal sex with me. I am not nearly as ashamed today as last time but i feel my risk tolerance is changing. She was prepared to let me penetrate her without a condom and she said she was on PREP. I came way too close to doing it raw......
    fuck.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 16, 2020
  2. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    dude, whats the point? its a sex addiction rehab forum, there are plenty of sex adventure forums around the web..
     
  3. Habbapop

    Habbapop Fapstronaut

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    Let him get it out ! So it doesn't stay inside. If you find it triggering, dont read the thread.

    Man, you need to find a SA meeting and go there and get that help ! Sex addiction is one hell of a addiction !
    But start with getting a NON smart phone and shut down the PC for a time.

    That's what i did. Getting as far away from those ads and those " o im just going to chek "
     
  4. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    you should say he instead of she, he has a dick. Maybe this could help you to realize better what you're doing.
     
  5. I got into transwoman porn and eventually gave into the fantasy with escorts. It's definitely escalation with porn. The thing is, I've always realised that I'm attracted to women, and transwomen are definitely feminine so it's not about you being gay or anything.

    I'm more concerned for your health and marriage. Never, ever have bareback sex with an escort, and please think of the health (physically and mentally) of your wife.

    I think you should stop doing what you're doing, but it will require a change in mindset that I don't think you're ready for yet.
     
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  6. CLAW66

    CLAW66 Fapstronaut
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    It's a matter of which comes first for you; the STD or the divorce because you're well on your way. Or you just might pass on some disease to your wife. At this point I'm more concerned about her than you.
    Having said that, there is a certain alurement and titillation to your sex adventures. Of course there would be for me, I'm a perverted sex addict. Yet the line is drawn for me. I dare not cross it. You re in no man's land, and you should be afraid, very afraid.
     
  7. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Not a "she" it is a "he". They are men. A woman does not have a penis, a woman does not ejaculate semen. You escalated porn use, you have reverse it.
     
  8. Why dont you stop attacking him and be more supportive. He did what he did and there's nothing wrong with that. Stop judging him. Yes he wants to stop and we all and he can too label this any way he wants but its not helpful to demean a person when they're seeking help and brave enough to post on here.
     
    Peaceful magic 21 likes this.
  9. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    You say, "Once upon a time I was straight as a whistle...."

    You actually are still "straight as a whistle" in your center, but you're letting pornography and its fruit of ongoing and progressing twisted fetishes take a life of their own - not being true to yourself and definitely not pursuing a path that will ever make you happy. Your addictions and new fetishes are fulfilling their effective and necessary role for which reason you've adopted them: they are preventing you in seeing your inner woundedness, your inner pain, the inner growth needed, and thereby following a more constructive path toward healing, wholeness, and integrity. It's somewhat easier to anesthetize ourselves than to grow and heal in authentic ways. All of us addicts have known and have experienced that such anesthesia never lasts for long. We need a stronger and harder hit of anesthetization the next time, and then again and again. After a while we don't even recognize ourselves, because the person that we've become is not our true self, but a sickened eccentric (that is "off centered") self in twisted proportions. It is the eccentric self that is also harboring the initial woundedness that we are trying to self-medicate (with addictions) ever so unsuccessfully. Hence, you need to stop pursuing every new path of degradation that your impulses and desires are drawing you toward. You are walking in the wrong direction. You still have it within you to turn around. You still have the ability to find your "true" center again. Look toward the light and toward the good, and move in that direction. You have a free choice between life and death. You can choose real freedom or real enslavement to all your base desires. The field of battle changes, but the contest is always the same. It's up to you what life you ultimately want to live and be branded in.

    .
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2020
  10. scjguy

    scjguy Fapstronaut

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    You should also consider other STDs (gonorrhea, syphilis). How ridiculous would it be if you transmitted those to your wife? And some of them can be very nasty.
    In all honesty, and sorry if I'm being too blunt, y'all need to get a grip and take some action NOW. I think many people struggle with the idea that, to quit these habits and go back to "normal", you're facing the idea of NEVER DOING IT AGAIN. I know this realization sucks, but it's the only way.
    And, please, guys, have FAITH that you'll go back to feeling GREAT PLEASURE from regular straight sex.
    (I'm a gay guy reading this outta curiosity, just wanted to help).
     
  11. CodeTalker

    CodeTalker Fapstronaut

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    Reading op history, I don’t think he has any intention to get out of that addiction. He just loves that and don’t seem to see what is wrong with it.
     
    Jonny99999 likes this.
  12. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Every time i hear about this "once i was straight but then i changed" i always feel like that can't be the honest truth.

    If you were straight you honestly wouldn't be having anal sex with other men.
     
    Jonny99999 likes this.
  13. Wave tamer

    Wave tamer Fapstronaut

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    They’re not really men. They go the extra mile to be more feminine spend 10s of thousands on surgery to be women and the cock thing is a shock factor, adrenaline dopamine COCktail taboo and escalation. It’s actually a body part that when our ancestor monkey friends saw another chimp erect when a female was around it would trigger them to get erect to compete. I’m not saying it’s healthy I’ve been trying to dig myself out this shameful hole for a while. But I know I’m not turned on by men and never have been. (But nothing wrong if anybody is) It used to be in the gay section of porn clips but gays want to see six packs and macho shit. So they put it in the straight section and it took off. It’s addiction. And you’ve only done it twice bro. Get the fuck out while it’s early days before it becomes hardwired and your drug of choice. Good luck ✌️
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2020
  14. verbeek75

    verbeek75 Fapstronaut

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    The problem is due to the porn addiction, when you are horny you want to try transgendered person or gay sex, but after you have done it like you said WTF am I doing, but after a while that reaction subsides and the addiction takes over again, and you want to try again maybe with the though you should try again maybe with a prettier or more handsome person and you will keep repeating on and on until you retrained your brain/brainwashed yourself. It's not who you are just stop watching porn.

    It's the same process as watching transgendered person and gay porn, you keep watching it until you start really liking it.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2020
  15. Brohime

    Brohime Fapstronaut

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    I bled pretty bad
    after he/she topped me. A mix of blood and cum.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 2, 2020
  16. Zimzi

    Zimzi Fapstronaut

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    You gotta understand that it is the shame and disgust with self that makes you want it more. It’s a vicious cycle that can only be stopped by quitting the porn and focusing on ur actual life. Humans like the shame. Our brains suck. I’d say think about ur wife...but u probs just feel so gross with the whole cheating on her on top of the transgendered person thing that I don’t know if it will backfire and make u want to do it. That’s why the will power to not watch porn is the important thing. If u really want to be ashamed, get ur wife a strap on and let her humiliate you there. But at least it would be with her and you wouldn’t be watching so much porn and gaining all other negative effects.
     
    Peaceful magic 21 likes this.
  17. LK1

    LK1 Fapstronaut

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    I think the OP is a troll.. you are feeding it
     
  18. hollyman

    hollyman Fapstronaut

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    you hit a rock bottom with spongebob within it , and instead try to recover u dig deeper and deeper

    when u want to stop ? when godes of she male fuck u ?

    think about this.... there is nothing...i said nothing can satisfy our lust .... human design to never satisfy with anything they posses....... there's old proverb said " if we have a mountain of gold, we will want two of it...if u got two gold mountain...u will want three of it and so on"

    knowing this u should understand that feeding ur lust will only make u want more and more its never ending cycle


    u must try to end the devil cycle....go to phsycholog read, learn from NOFAP anything dont give up and searc for another transgendered person
     
    Luvspin68 and Peaceful magic 21 like this.
  19. jordan_brown

    jordan_brown Fapstronaut

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    Hi, I am also into transwoman porn, for about a decade now. During last 3 years I acted out about 10 times, I am active even if I wanted to try passive, once there I couldn't take it in the ass, and I don't even feel any pleasure in giving blowjob, so I guess I am not gay after all. I just like the idea of transwoman more than girls. I reached the bottom last year I had sex with a m trans met on tinder and it was delusional compared to what I feel from porn. I had not full erection and struggle to get an orgasm, a couple of months before with a girl I had strong erection but my penis was completely desensitised and I couldn't have an orgasm. So I decided to abstain from porn for about 4 months but still I was jerking off sometimes watching escorts add. This until 3 days ago, when I started watching porn again with strong transwoman related masturbation. Now I can literally feel the my brain floating in the dopamine and it is a bless because abstaining last months has really destroyed my mood. So I am thinking about what should I do now, I am also thinking to get some professional help because I am 30 and would like to have a serious relationship one day and obviously I cannot in this condition . Thanks anyone who has read this (English is my 2nd language).
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2020
  20. Rusername

    Rusername Fapstronaut

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    What do you want us to tell you? Go visit paychologist/sexuologist/psychiatrist. Maybe consult all of them if possibile!

    Man, it's a strange thing. Not long ago i was aroused by merely someone talking about doing it with transwoman and now i am like: "wtf are those guys doing?!". However I still feel bad about my previous choices. How could i voluntarily fuck with my sexuality just to get new dose of dopamine?!

    I almost relapsed yesterday. Was wondering about my progress. Looked at escorts, then thought popped up saying "you should check if men arouse you", so i checked male escorts and my erection was gone in like 10 seconds, then i checked trans escorts and thought "those are just men dressed as females, they look like idiots", then i watched straight porn but didnt... ekhem... finished so i wont count that as relapse.
     

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