What I've learned about urges after 90 days

Cool_Bro · Aug 9, 2018

DerNeuMann said: ↑

90 DAY UPDATE - Important Stuff I've Learned That Can Help You

I originally posted this on my Progressive Challenge thread but a couple of the fapstronauts there suggested that others might be motivated by it. So here it is.

Thank you all for being here and I admire your determination and I am always moved by how difficult this is for all of us. Yes, extremely difficult for me, too. Stopping pmo is surely the hardest thing many or most of you have ever done in your lives. For me, it's been worth the trouble.

Well, I can hardly believe it. 90 days seemed absolutely impossible when I started back in October. I had never managed more than 60 days one other time and 30 days a couple of other times. Otherwise, it had always been streaks anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. But then I learned about yourbrainonporn.com and this community and they were big game changers for me. It has still been challenging. I've also had many of the nice benefits and you can read about those in some of my earlier updates. Those are truly worth the trouble, by the way. I have such amazing focus and learning capability right now that it's crazy!

Here's what I've learned that may alter how you approach this. It's a bad news/good news sort of thing.

1. Bad News - For those of you waiting for that magic day when the urges go away, stop holding your breath. They don't go away. At all. Don't stop reading here and don't get depressed because this ends up also being part of the good news, okay?
However you are defining urges, let's agree that the common component of any of those definitions is arousal, often accompanied by a real strong desire to orgasm. Yeah, none of that goes away except during flatlines. But...
2. Good News - What happens is that from about 30 days on, you start to get used to the urges! That's right! You start to get used to having them and I'm even now kind of enjoying them! You also get better at being able to handle them and get past them.

This next bit is for the guys (no offense to the women who might be reading this but guys have their unique sets of problems, too). Men, having urges and wood is just a natural part of having testosterone and other androgens surging through your body. It's part of being a man and they are natural. The difference between you and those guys who don't have a pmo addiction is that you fap your urges away, believing that you're fapping your stress away. Other than very temporarily, you're not.

Guess what you are actually fapping away? Your manhood. Your desire to meet your obligations and carry out your responsibilities. Your mojo to talk to girls. Your self-esteem. Your feeling of masculinity. Your time. Your relationships. Your happiness. It leads to a lot of your stress and social anxiety, which then leads to procrastination and more stress, fapping and even depression.

Why is it so damned difficult? Why suffer the torture of urges in order to beat pmo?

For many or most of us, the pmo cycle has become a compulsion, meaning our brain's limbic system takes over and we can't stop ourselves once triggered without a lot of difficulty. You can read more about this in the education section of this website. I recommend that you do.

But in addition to the compulsion, the urges are so strong because most of us really never allowed the urges to build before. We always fapped the urges away. Guess what? In the same way that the so-called non-fap "superpower benefits" are just qualities we would have if we weren't pmo addicts, the urges are also what we would have if we weren't pmo addicts.

Instead of fearing them and fapping them away, use the urges for mojo! This is what those successful youtube Fapstronauts like Elisha Long mean then they talk about transforming or transmuting the sexual energy. Boys fap the urges away. Men use the urges to get stuff done, mojo for talking to girls and getting themselves out of their comfort zones and positive energy for conquering the world through a career or for getting good at stuff like climbing, etc.

Bottom line: Don't fear the urges. Don't fap the urges away. Use them to exercise and do amazing stuff!! If you feel the urge to fap, drop and give as many sets of 10 stomach crunches as you can, holding each one 5 seconds--you'll build amazing abs. Use the mojo to call up that girl you like. Use the energy to go to the gym or pay the bills you've been putting off or clean out your messy car or whatever! Anything but looking at porn, which leads to M, which leads to binge, which leads to feeling like crap, which leads to looking at porn, which leads to M, etc.

This is, in my experience, what the 90 days is about. Learning to embrace the urges. Enjoy feeling aroused! Enjoy feeling like a stud! Don't fap that arousal away! Get off your ass and get something accomplished. That will build your confidence like crazy!!! Self-esteem and self-confidence come from accomplishing things. You have NEVER accomplished anything bigger or more impressive than beating pmo (unless you've conquered another addiction). If you can conquer this, you can conquer ANYTHING life throws at you.

Yes! It's sheer torture, especially after the flatline stage. That testosterone surge after the big, horrible flatline is when you need to start doing something with your time. I ended my big, horrible flatline at day 32. On day 33 was my very first post on this site and since then I've been keeping my thread humming like a machine with positivity and compassion. That's how I spend my time that I would have previously been fapping. Now after 90 days, I'm going to start backing off a bit from this thread and start attacking things I need and want to do in my life!! My urges are still strong (maybe stronger since I have so much more testosterone and other androgens zooming through my body) but I now HATE porn and refuse to look at it. I don't want to M habitually ever again. There's no going back, you see.

As one of the thread members said yesterday, at this point, nofap becomes a lifestyle rather than a hope. Even if I were to give in and M once some time in the future (I don't recommend it, btw), I know that there is NO WAY I'm ever going back to my former habitually fappy self. That boy is gone for good as far as I'm concerned and I have no intention of giving up the man with all his benefits. No thanks.

Keep working everyone. Embrace the urges and use them to beat pmo. I'm proof that you can do it. EVERY STREAK IS A GOOD STREAK!!! Use every streak to build your strategies and ability to get used to urges and avoid triggers. Hide your stupid phones while you're at it. Seriously.

Focus on the streaks and don't despair at relapses. Keep track of every day you don't fap and watch your calendar get filled with streak days. You've got this!!
Click to expand...

Well, congrats on finally winning over the PMO addiction. Your post gives us the clear idea to what the urges are and what shoud we do with them.
Good luck Brother ! Keep going towards the Happy and Healthy life

WARRIORMAN · Aug 9, 2018

I found that a daily meditation practice increases willpower so when the urges come along , you don't act on them by resorting to M .

narsicheon · Aug 9, 2018

I really am glad I read this. It’s nice how you put it that we should embrace our ability to be aroused because it is not bad in itself, more of what we do as a result of it. I really like your connection with channeling that energy toward increasing your self confidence and esteem with useful things like exercising and such. I hope to be as strong as you are.

WARRIORMAN · Aug 10, 2018

narsicheon said: ↑

I really am glad I read this. It’s nice how you put it that we should embrace our ability to be aroused because it is not bad in itself, more of what we do as a result of it. I really like your connection with channeling that energy toward increasing your self confidence and esteem with useful things like exercising and such. I hope to be as strong as you are.
Click to expand...

Day 41 here but he is my two cents anyway .

I have been pmo free about a month , couple this with hour long mediation the past three months and ayahuasca retreat to delve into my subconscious, I have found why I pmo and it's not to do with hornyness but rejection from a girl in a bar when I was really drunk . It was embarrassing and cringeworthy. The pixels of pornhub wont reject you .

Also I had approval issues from my dad but these have been put to bed Thank God .

So when you what is causing your pmo , it loses its power . This happened around the 30 day mark . I will update as more stuff unfolds .

DerNeuMann · Aug 10, 2018

Figs666 said: ↑

Day 41 here but he is my two cents anyway .

I have been pmo free about a month , couple this with hour long mediation the past three months and ayahuasca retreat to delve into my subconscious, I have found why I pmo and it's not to do with hornyness but rejection from a girl in a bar when I was really drunk . It was embarrassing and cringeworthy. The pixels of pornhub wont reject you .

Also I had approval issues from my dad but these have been put to bed Thank God .

So when you what is causing your pmo , it loses its power . This happened around the 30 day mark . I will update as more stuff unfolds .
Click to expand...

This, in my experience is correct. Since almost a year ago, I have communicated one on one with so many guys on this site and to a person, there is some thing about their habits or their past that makes them feel like they're not a man, which is the deep rooted cause of the angst that leads them to fap instead of deal with life. I realize that in the age of feminism this statement might be frowned upon by women fapstronauts but whatever the root cause is for women pmo addicts, the root cause for all the guys from 14-60 that I've talked to on this site and it is a LOT of guys, it is always that they feel something is holding them back. Boys fap their problems and stress away (this is understandable when one is young and has little control over his life). Men face the world and all its problems and pains and deal with it. But since that's stressful and potentially scary, it's easier to go online and meet one's "needs" there. I am not judging. Obviously, I was one of those and still consider myself as recovering from that unhappy reality. When I confronted all of those personal issues, they lost their power. That's how I have made it this far and more than 200 days after I posted the 90 day post that started this thread, I stand by everything I wrote in it.

narsicheon · Aug 11, 2018

Figs666 said: ↑

Day 41 here but he is my two cents anyway .

I have been pmo free about a month , couple this with hour long mediation the past three months and ayahuasca retreat to delve into my subconscious, I have found why I pmo and it's not to do with hornyness but rejection from a girl in a bar when I was really drunk . It was embarrassing and cringeworthy. The pixels of pornhub wont reject you .

Also I had approval issues from my dad but these have been put to bed Thank God .

So when you what is causing your pmo , it loses its power . This happened around the 30 day mark . I will update as more stuff unfolds .
Click to expand...

That is super interesting! It actually makes more sense too knowing that there’s a deeper underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

WARRIORMAN · Aug 11, 2018

narsicheon said: ↑

That is super interesting! It actually makes more sense too knowing that there’s a deeper underlying issue that needs to be addressed.
Click to expand...

To right brother , get to the source and your cured for life , that's real freedom . I've been meditating one hour a day the last 3 months too . That helps a lot

Deleted Account · Aug 11, 2018

DerNeuMann said: ↑

90 DAY UPDATE - Important Stuff I've Learned That Can Help You

I originally posted this on my Progressive Challenge thread but a couple of the fapstronauts there suggested that others might be motivated by it. So here it is.

Thank you all for being here and I admire your determination and I am always moved by how difficult this is for all of us. Yes, extremely difficult for me, too. Stopping pmo is surely the hardest thing many or most of you have ever done in your lives. For me, it's been worth the trouble.

Well, I can hardly believe it. 90 days seemed absolutely impossible when I started back in October. I had never managed more than 60 days one other time and 30 days a couple of other times. Otherwise, it had always been streaks anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. But then I learned about yourbrainonporn.com and this community and they were big game changers for me. It has still been challenging. I've also had many of the nice benefits and you can read about those in some of my earlier updates. Those are truly worth the trouble, by the way. I have such amazing focus and learning capability right now that it's crazy!

Here's what I've learned that may alter how you approach this. It's a bad news/good news sort of thing.

1. Bad News - For those of you waiting for that magic day when the urges go away, stop holding your breath. They don't go away. At all. Don't stop reading here and don't get depressed because this ends up also being part of the good news, okay?
However you are defining urges, let's agree that the common component of any of those definitions is arousal, often accompanied by a real strong desire to orgasm. Yeah, none of that goes away except during flatlines. But...
2. Good News - What happens is that from about 30 days on, you start to get used to the urges! That's right! You start to get used to having them and I'm even now kind of enjoying them! You also get better at being able to handle them and get past them.

This next bit is for the guys (no offense to the women who might be reading this but guys have their unique sets of problems, too). Men, having urges and wood is just a natural part of having testosterone and other androgens surging through your body. It's part of being a man and they are natural. The difference between you and those guys who don't have a pmo addiction is that you fap your urges away, believing that you're fapping your stress away. Other than very temporarily, you're not.

Guess what you are actually fapping away? Your manhood. Your desire to meet your obligations and carry out your responsibilities. Your mojo to talk to girls. Your self-esteem. Your feeling of masculinity. Your time. Your relationships. Your happiness. It leads to a lot of your stress and social anxiety, which then leads to procrastination and more stress, fapping and even depression.

Why is it so damned difficult? Why suffer the torture of urges in order to beat pmo?

For many or most of us, the pmo cycle has become a compulsion, meaning our brain's limbic system takes over and we can't stop ourselves once triggered without a lot of difficulty. You can read more about this in the education section of this website. I recommend that you do.

But in addition to the compulsion, the urges are so strong because most of us really never allowed the urges to build before. We always fapped the urges away. Guess what? In the same way that the so-called non-fap "superpower benefits" are just qualities we would have if we weren't pmo addicts, the urges are also what we would have if we weren't pmo addicts.

Instead of fearing them and fapping them away, use the urges for mojo! This is what those successful youtube Fapstronauts like Elisha Long mean then they talk about transforming or transmuting the sexual energy. Boys fap the urges away. Men use the urges to get stuff done, mojo for talking to girls and getting themselves out of their comfort zones and positive energy for conquering the world through a career or for getting good at stuff like climbing, etc.

Bottom line: Don't fear the urges. Don't fap the urges away. Use them to exercise and do amazing stuff!! If you feel the urge to fap, drop and give as many sets of 10 stomach crunches as you can, holding each one 5 seconds--you'll build amazing abs. Use the mojo to call up that girl you like. Use the energy to go to the gym or pay the bills you've been putting off or clean out your messy car or whatever! Anything but looking at porn, which leads to M, which leads to binge, which leads to feeling like crap, which leads to looking at porn, which leads to M, etc.

This is, in my experience, what the 90 days is about. Learning to embrace the urges. Enjoy feeling aroused! Enjoy feeling like a stud! Don't fap that arousal away! Get off your ass and get something accomplished. That will build your confidence like crazy!!! Self-esteem and self-confidence come from accomplishing things. You have NEVER accomplished anything bigger or more impressive than beating pmo (unless you've conquered another addiction). If you can conquer this, you can conquer ANYTHING life throws at you.

Yes! It's sheer torture, especially after the flatline stage. That testosterone surge after the big, horrible flatline is when you need to start doing something with your time. I ended my big, horrible flatline at day 32. On day 33 was my very first post on this site and since then I've been keeping my thread humming like a machine with positivity and compassion. That's how I spend my time that I would have previously been fapping. Now after 90 days, I'm going to start backing off a bit from this thread and start attacking things I need and want to do in my life!! My urges are still strong (maybe stronger since I have so much more testosterone and other androgens zooming through my body) but I now HATE porn and refuse to look at it. I don't want to M habitually ever again. There's no going back, you see.

As one of the thread members said yesterday, at this point, nofap becomes a lifestyle rather than a hope. Even if I were to give in and M once some time in the future (I don't recommend it, btw), I know that there is NO WAY I'm ever going back to my former habitually fappy self. That boy is gone for good as far as I'm concerned and I have no intention of giving up the man with all his benefits. No thanks.

Keep working everyone. Embrace the urges and use them to beat pmo. I'm proof that you can do it. EVERY STREAK IS A GOOD STREAK!!! Use every streak to build your strategies and ability to get used to urges and avoid triggers. Hide your stupid phones while you're at it. Seriously.

Focus on the streaks and don't despair at relapses. Keep track of every day you don't fap and watch your calendar get filled with streak days. You've got this!!
Click to expand...

Yeah the urges are our 'enemy' once we quit PMO. And when I realized this I told myself right from the beginning that I must learn to love and enjoy my urges. In the end having a nice erection feels good and can be savored without trying to milk semen from oneself. And I told myself that in case I should orgasm without touching myself one day I am not going to reset the counter.

DerNeuMann · Aug 12, 2018

Jazzmusician said: ↑

Yeah the urges are our 'enemy' once we quit PMO. And when I realized this I told myself right from the beginning that I must learn to love and enjoy my urges. In the end having a nice erection feels good and can be savored without trying to milk semen from oneself. And I told myself that in case I should orgasm without touching myself one day I am not going to reset the counter.
Click to expand...

You are on the right track. Good job. Please update me with your progress. You are welcome to pm me.

Woodcutter74 · Aug 12, 2018

Great post DerNeuMann. I agree 100 % everything you wrote, because I feel the same way too when it comes to the urges. The urges never go away, this I know now that I am nearing 60 days. As I always stated in my past posts, it is natural to find women desirable. One should acknowledge the desire , but at the same time acknowledge it is also impermanent, so no reason to give in P.M.O. Also, I believe that our perception of women changes when we don't give into the urges. It is easier to talk to attractive women especially when your mindset and expectations is not to score with her in the future, but just enjoy the present moment. I believe one also finds an inner peace and joy, once you understand the urges are natural and as you say, use that energy and mojo to better themselves. Thank you posting this. It was a great read.

Roader to Freedom · Aug 12, 2018

Ow, man, I needed that, thanks.

Tonytone · Aug 14, 2018

DerNeuMann said: ↑

90 DAY UPDATE - Important Stuff I've Learned That Can Help You

I originally posted this on my Progressive Challenge thread but a couple of the fapstronauts there suggested that others might be motivated by it. So here it is.

Thank you all for being here and I admire your determination and I am always moved by how difficult this is for all of us. Yes, extremely difficult for me, too. Stopping pmo is surely the hardest thing many or most of you have ever done in your lives. For me, it's been worth the trouble.

Well, I can hardly believe it. 90 days seemed absolutely impossible when I started back in October. I had never managed more than 60 days one other time and 30 days a couple of other times. Otherwise, it had always been streaks anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. But then I learned about yourbrainonporn.com and this community and they were big game changers for me. It has still been challenging. I've also had many of the nice benefits and you can read about those in some of my earlier updates. Those are truly worth the trouble, by the way. I have such amazing focus and learning capability right now that it's crazy!

Here's what I've learned that may alter how you approach this. It's a bad news/good news sort of thing.

1. Bad News - For those of you waiting for that magic day when the urges go away, stop holding your breath. They don't go away. At all. Don't stop reading here and don't get depressed because this ends up also being part of the good news, okay?
However you are defining urges, let's agree that the common component of any of those definitions is arousal, often accompanied by a real strong desire to orgasm. Yeah, none of that goes away except during flatlines. But...
2. Good News - What happens is that from about 30 days on, you start to get used to the urges! That's right! You start to get used to having them and I'm even now kind of enjoying them! You also get better at being able to handle them and get past them.

This next bit is for the guys (no offense to the women who might be reading this but guys have their unique sets of problems, too). Men, having urges and wood is just a natural part of having testosterone and other androgens surging through your body. It's part of being a man and they are natural. The difference between you and those guys who don't have a pmo addiction is that you fap your urges away, believing that you're fapping your stress away. Other than very temporarily, you're not.

Guess what you are actually fapping away? Your manhood. Your desire to meet your obligations and carry out your responsibilities. Your mojo to talk to girls. Your self-esteem. Your feeling of masculinity. Your time. Your relationships. Your happiness. It leads to a lot of your stress and social anxiety, which then leads to procrastination and more stress, fapping and even depression.

Why is it so damned difficult? Why suffer the torture of urges in order to beat pmo?

For many or most of us, the pmo cycle has become a compulsion, meaning our brain's limbic system takes over and we can't stop ourselves once triggered without a lot of difficulty. You can read more about this in the education section of this website. I recommend that you do.

But in addition to the compulsion, the urges are so strong because most of us really never allowed the urges to build before. We always fapped the urges away. Guess what? In the same way that the so-called non-fap "superpower benefits" are just qualities we would have if we weren't pmo addicts, the urges are also what we would have if we weren't pmo addicts.

Instead of fearing them and fapping them away, use the urges for mojo! This is what those successful youtube Fapstronauts like Elisha Long mean then they talk about transforming or transmuting the sexual energy. Boys fap the urges away. Men use the urges to get stuff done, mojo for talking to girls and getting themselves out of their comfort zones and positive energy for conquering the world through a career or for getting good at stuff like climbing, etc.

Bottom line: Don't fear the urges. Don't fap the urges away. Use them to exercise and do amazing stuff!! If you feel the urge to fap, drop and give as many sets of 10 stomach crunches as you can, holding each one 5 seconds--you'll build amazing abs. Use the mojo to call up that girl you like. Use the energy to go to the gym or pay the bills you've been putting off or clean out your messy car or whatever! Anything but looking at porn, which leads to M, which leads to binge, which leads to feeling like crap, which leads to looking at porn, which leads to M, etc.

This is, in my experience, what the 90 days is about. Learning to embrace the urges. Enjoy feeling aroused! Enjoy feeling like a stud! Don't fap that arousal away! Get off your ass and get something accomplished. That will build your confidence like crazy!!! Self-esteem and self-confidence come from accomplishing things. You have NEVER accomplished anything bigger or more impressive than beating pmo (unless you've conquered another addiction). If you can conquer this, you can conquer ANYTHING life throws at you.

Yes! It's sheer torture, especially after the flatline stage. That testosterone surge after the big, horrible flatline is when you need to start doing something with your time. I ended my big, horrible flatline at day 32. On day 33 was my very first post on this site and since then I've been keeping my thread humming like a machine with positivity and compassion. That's how I spend my time that I would have previously been fapping. Now after 90 days, I'm going to start backing off a bit from this thread and start attacking things I need and want to do in my life!! My urges are still strong (maybe stronger since I have so much more testosterone and other androgens zooming through my body) but I now HATE porn and refuse to look at it. I don't want to M habitually ever again. There's no going back, you see.

As one of the thread members said yesterday, at this point, nofap becomes a lifestyle rather than a hope. Even if I were to give in and M once some time in the future (I don't recommend it, btw), I know that there is NO WAY I'm ever going back to my former habitually fappy self. That boy is gone for good as far as I'm concerned and I have no intention of giving up the man with all his benefits. No thanks.

Keep working everyone. Embrace the urges and use them to beat pmo. I'm proof that you can do it. EVERY STREAK IS A GOOD STREAK!!! Use every streak to build your strategies and ability to get used to urges and avoid triggers. Hide your stupid phones while you're at it. Seriously.

Focus on the streaks and don't despair at relapses. Keep track of every day you don't fap and watch your calendar get filled with streak days. You've got this!!
Click to expand...

Awesome post, brother!! Very inspiring and motivational!

DerNeuMann · Aug 15, 2018

Tonytone said: ↑

Awesome post, brother!! Very inspiring and motivational!
Click to expand...

Thanks! Keep up the good work. You can do it!

Tonytone · Aug 15, 2018

DerNeuMann said: ↑

Thanks! Keep up the good work. You can do it!
Click to expand...

I will do this.

Souvent08 · May 19, 2019

I really need to hear this. Im on day 79 and the urges are real. I was sort of hoping that they would go away once I hit 90 days. Now I will embrace them and turn them into energy for self improvement. Thanks for the tip!

Deleted Account · May 19, 2019

Great thread, Thanks for sharing!

afrobeacon · May 19, 2019

DerNeuMann said: ↑

90 DAY UPDATE - Important Stuff I've Learned That Can Help You

I originally posted this on my Progressive Challenge thread but a couple of the fapstronauts there suggested that others might be motivated by it. So here it is.

Thank you all for being here and I admire your determination and I am always moved by how difficult this is for all of us. Yes, extremely difficult for me, too. Stopping pmo is surely the hardest thing many or most of you have ever done in your lives. For me, it's been worth the trouble.

Well, I can hardly believe it. 90 days seemed absolutely impossible when I started back in October. I had never managed more than 60 days one other time and 30 days a couple of other times. Otherwise, it had always been streaks anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. But then I learned about yourbrainonporn.com and this community and they were big game changers for me. It has still been challenging. I've also had many of the nice benefits and you can read about those in some of my earlier updates. Those are truly worth the trouble, by the way. I have such amazing focus and learning capability right now that it's crazy!

Here's what I've learned that may alter how you approach this. It's a bad news/good news sort of thing.

1. Bad News - For those of you waiting for that magic day when the urges go away, stop holding your breath. They don't go away. At all. Don't stop reading here and don't get depressed because this ends up also being part of the good news, okay?
However you are defining urges, let's agree that the common component of any of those definitions is arousal, often accompanied by a real strong desire to orgasm. Yeah, none of that goes away except during flatlines. But...
2. Good News - What happens is that from about 30 days on, you start to get used to the urges! That's right! You start to get used to having them and I'm even now kind of enjoying them! You also get better at being able to handle them and get past them.

This next bit is for the guys (no offense to the women who might be reading this but guys have their unique sets of problems, too). Men, having urges and wood is just a natural part of having testosterone and other androgens surging through your body. It's part of being a man and they are natural. The difference between you and those guys who don't have a pmo addiction is that you fap your urges away, believing that you're fapping your stress away. Other than very temporarily, you're not.

Guess what you are actually fapping away? Your manhood. Your desire to meet your obligations and carry out your responsibilities. Your mojo to talk to girls. Your self-esteem. Your feeling of masculinity. Your time. Your relationships. Your happiness. It leads to a lot of your stress and social anxiety, which then leads to procrastination and more stress, fapping and even depression.

Why is it so damned difficult? Why suffer the torture of urges in order to beat pmo?

For many or most of us, the pmo cycle has become a compulsion, meaning our brain's limbic system takes over and we can't stop ourselves once triggered without a lot of difficulty. You can read more about this in the education section of this website. I recommend that you do.

But in addition to the compulsion, the urges are so strong because most of us really never allowed the urges to build before. We always fapped the urges away. Guess what? In the same way that the so-called non-fap "superpower benefits" are just qualities we would have if we weren't pmo addicts, the urges are also what we would have if we weren't pmo addicts.

Instead of fearing them and fapping them away, use the urges for mojo! This is what those successful youtube Fapstronauts like Elisha Long mean then they talk about transforming or transmuting the sexual energy. Boys fap the urges away. Men use the urges to get stuff done, mojo for talking to girls and getting themselves out of their comfort zones and positive energy for conquering the world through a career or for getting good at stuff like climbing, etc.

Bottom line: Don't fear the urges. Don't fap the urges away. Use them to exercise and do amazing stuff!! If you feel the urge to fap, drop and give as many sets of 10 stomach crunches as you can, holding each one 5 seconds--you'll build amazing abs. Use the mojo to call up that girl you like. Use the energy to go to the gym or pay the bills you've been putting off or clean out your messy car or whatever! Anything but looking at porn, which leads to M, which leads to binge, which leads to feeling like crap, which leads to looking at porn, which leads to M, etc.

This is, in my experience, what the 90 days is about. Learning to embrace the urges. Enjoy feeling aroused! Enjoy feeling like a stud! Don't fap that arousal away! Get off your ass and get something accomplished. That will build your confidence like crazy!!! Self-esteem and self-confidence come from accomplishing things. You have NEVER accomplished anything bigger or more impressive than beating pmo (unless you've conquered another addiction). If you can conquer this, you can conquer ANYTHING life throws at you.

Yes! It's sheer torture, especially after the flatline stage. That testosterone surge after the big, horrible flatline is when you need to start doing something with your time. I ended my big, horrible flatline at day 32. On day 33 was my very first post on this site and since then I've been keeping my thread humming like a machine with positivity and compassion. That's how I spend my time that I would have previously been fapping. Now after 90 days, I'm going to start backing off a bit from this thread and start attacking things I need and want to do in my life!! My urges are still strong (maybe stronger since I have so much more testosterone and other androgens zooming through my body) but I now HATE porn and refuse to look at it. I don't want to M habitually ever again. There's no going back, you see.

As one of the thread members said yesterday, at this point, nofap becomes a lifestyle rather than a hope. Even if I were to give in and M once some time in the future (I don't recommend it, btw), I know that there is NO WAY I'm ever going back to my former habitually fappy self. That boy is gone for good as far as I'm concerned and I have no intention of giving up the man with all his benefits. No thanks.

Keep working everyone. Embrace the urges and use them to beat pmo. I'm proof that you can do it. EVERY STREAK IS A GOOD STREAK!!! Use every streak to build your strategies and ability to get used to urges and avoid triggers. Hide your stupid phones while you're at it. Seriously.

Focus on the streaks and don't despair at relapses. Keep track of every day you don't fap and watch your calendar get filled with streak days. You've got this!!
Click to expand...

Wow. Enjoyed reading every word of this.

When I started fapping uncontrollably using PMO, I thought it would help me last longer in bed as I was trying to impress a girl. What culminated from there was constant anxiety, total lack of self confidence coupled with low self esteem.

I had streaks of more than 90 days where I would recover and simply slide back to PMO.

I am glad to have found individuals here where we share the same experiences. Last night I was out on a date with a rather hot woman, we kissed at the end of it, I was at 120% percent erect. Needless to say I was very aroused, by the time I got home, I had blue balls. I slept it off and enjoyed the testosterone surge rather than go for a quick release.

Once you get over the very tough hill, it really becomes downhill, but from my running experiences sometimes never take a downhill run lightly because you can slip. At every step of the way, vigilance is key

control your life · May 19, 2019

nice! very impormative! thank you!

DerNeuMann · Mar 27, 2021

I hope everyone who has posted here is recovering well. Let me know your success story!

Jamex · Mar 27, 2021

DerNeuMann said: ↑

90 DAY UPDATE - Important Stuff I've Learned That Can Help You

I originally posted this on my Progressive Challenge thread but a couple of the fapstronauts there suggested that others might be motivated by it. So here it is.

Thank you all for being here and I admire your determination and I am always moved by how difficult this is for all of us. Yes, extremely difficult for me, too. Stopping pmo is surely the hardest thing many or most of you have ever done in your lives. For me, it's been worth the trouble.

Well, I can hardly believe it. 90 days seemed absolutely impossible when I started back in October. I had never managed more than 60 days one other time and 30 days a couple of other times. Otherwise, it had always been streaks anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. But then I learned about yourbrainonporn.com and this community and they were big game changers for me. It has still been challenging. I've also had many of the nice benefits and you can read about those in some of my earlier updates. Those are truly worth the trouble, by the way. I have such amazing focus and learning capability right now that it's crazy!

Here's what I've learned that may alter how you approach this. It's a bad news/good news sort of thing.

1. Bad News - For those of you waiting for that magic day when the urges go away, stop holding your breath. They don't go away. At all. Don't stop reading here and don't get depressed because this ends up also being part of the good news, okay?
However you are defining urges, let's agree that the common component of any of those definitions is arousal, often accompanied by a real strong desire to orgasm. Yeah, none of that goes away except during flatlines. But...
2. Good News - What happens is that from about 30 days on, you start to get used to the urges! That's right! You start to get used to having them and I'm even now kind of enjoying them! You also get better at being able to handle them and get past them.

This next bit is for the guys (no offense to the women who might be reading this but guys have their unique sets of problems, too). Men, having urges and wood is just a natural part of having testosterone and other androgens surging through your body. It's part of being a man and they are natural. The difference between you and those guys who don't have a pmo addiction is that you fap your urges away, believing that you're fapping your stress away. Other than very temporarily, you're not.

Guess what you are actually fapping away? Your manhood. Your desire to meet your obligations and carry out your responsibilities. Your mojo to talk to girls. Your self-esteem. Your feeling of masculinity. Your time. Your relationships. Your happiness. It leads to a lot of your stress and social anxiety, which then leads to procrastination and more stress, fapping and even depression.

Why is it so damned difficult? Why suffer the torture of urges in order to beat pmo?

For many or most of us, the pmo cycle has become a compulsion, meaning our brain's limbic system takes over and we can't stop ourselves once triggered without a lot of difficulty. You can read more about this in the education section of this website. I recommend that you do.

But in addition to the compulsion, the urges are so strong because most of us really never allowed the urges to build before. We always fapped the urges away. Guess what? In the same way that the so-called non-fap "superpower benefits" are just qualities we would have if we weren't pmo addicts, the urges are also what we would have if we weren't pmo addicts.

Instead of fearing them and fapping them away, use the urges for mojo! This is what those successful youtube Fapstronauts like Elisha Long mean then they talk about transforming or transmuting the sexual energy. Boys fap the urges away. Men use the urges to get stuff done, mojo for talking to girls and getting themselves out of their comfort zones and positive energy for conquering the world through a career or for getting good at stuff like climbing, etc.

Bottom line: Don't fear the urges. Don't fap the urges away. Use them to exercise and do amazing stuff!! If you feel the urge to fap, drop and give as many sets of 10 stomach crunches as you can, holding each one 5 seconds--you'll build amazing abs. Use the mojo to call up that girl you like. Use the energy to go to the gym or pay the bills you've been putting off or clean out your messy car or whatever! Anything but looking at porn, which leads to M, which leads to binge, which leads to feeling like crap, which leads to looking at porn, which leads to M, etc.

This is, in my experience, what the 90 days is about. Learning to embrace the urges. Enjoy feeling aroused! Enjoy feeling like a stud! Don't fap that arousal away! Get off your ass and get something accomplished. That will build your confidence like crazy!!! Self-esteem and self-confidence come from accomplishing things. You have NEVER accomplished anything bigger or more impressive than beating pmo (unless you've conquered another addiction). If you can conquer this, you can conquer ANYTHING life throws at you.

Yes! It's sheer torture, especially after the flatline stage. That testosterone surge after the big, horrible flatline is when you need to start doing something with your time. I ended my big, horrible flatline at day 32. On day 33 was my very first post on this site and since then I've been keeping my thread humming like a machine with positivity and compassion. That's how I spend my time that I would have previously been fapping. Now after 90 days, I'm going to start backing off a bit from this thread and start attacking things I need and want to do in my life!! My urges are still strong (maybe stronger since I have so much more testosterone and other androgens zooming through my body) but I now HATE porn and refuse to look at it. I don't want to M habitually ever again. There's no going back, you see.

As one of the thread members said yesterday, at this point, nofap becomes a lifestyle rather than a hope. Even if I were to give in and M once some time in the future (I don't recommend it, btw), I know that there is NO WAY I'm ever going back to my former habitually fappy self. That boy is gone for good as far as I'm concerned and I have no intention of giving up the man with all his benefits. No thanks.

Keep working everyone. Embrace the urges and use them to beat pmo. I'm proof that you can do it. EVERY STREAK IS A GOOD STREAK!!! Use every streak to build your strategies and ability to get used to urges and avoid triggers. Hide your stupid phones while you're at it. Seriously.

Focus on the streaks and don't despair at relapses. Keep track of every day you don't fap and watch your calendar get filled with streak days. You've got this!!
Click to expand...

Thank you very much.
I learnt so much.
Urges are natural. The only difference between us and Non addicts is our response to those urges.

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