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I found more P in my Now Ex Bf Phone ..

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by thetrying.girlfriend, May 25, 2019.

  1. May 25, 2019 #1
    thetrying.girlfriend

    thetrying.girlfriend Fapstronaut

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    Every time I look through my BF phones I find something! It’s so hurtful. Especially when he says he will stop. And that he’s trying to work on him self. He’s been lying to me over and over and over and over. It’s horrible... I have no trust for him ! And that’s why I am now single. I’ve been trying for two months to work on this relationship and help him get through this addiction. But it’s seems I want to fix him more than he wants to fix him self. I’m so hurt, I feel used and not worth it. I’m also very angry I feel like he stole my time with his problems. He thinks he can fix him self and thats where he’s wrong because NOTHING has changed. He’s been marking his calendar as if he’s not doing anything. He might not be M , but he still views Cam girls and P. I feel like he’s just getting good at hiding it now. I lost my love for him , i don’t find him attractive, can’t trust him nothing ... I’m over it so hurt and now I’m stuck with his baggage. Things I never thought about me self, I think now. I hope this doesn’t go in to my future relationship...


    Just venting ... sorry
     
    thetrying.girlfriend, May 25, 2019
    thetrying.girlfriend, May 25, 2019
    #1
    hope4healing and Deleted Account like this.
  2. May 25, 2019 #2
    1dayattatime

    1dayattatime Fapstronaut

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    I am sorry that you are going through this. It is not fair to you. You didn't sign up for that kind of relationship. Addicts don't do anything to purposfully harm our SOs but it is totally understandable why you feel the insecurities that you mentioned. It is not your fault. Getting out now is probably the best choice. Just make sure that you are honest in your next relationship.
     
    1dayattatime, May 25, 2019
    1dayattatime, May 25, 2019
    #2
    Butterfly1988, hope4healing and thetrying.girlfriend like this.
  3. May 25, 2019 #3
    Mr. McMarty

    Mr. McMarty Fapstronaut
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    I'm sorry to hear about this. Sounds like you will definitely carry baggage into your next relationship. For better or worse, you do need to trust the person that you're with, your next boyfriend won't like you looking at his phone. No man would.
     
    Mr. McMarty, May 25, 2019
    Mr. McMarty, May 25, 2019
    #3
  4. May 25, 2019 #4
    thetrying.girlfriend

    thetrying.girlfriend Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, and yes ! Your absolutely right no man will like a woman going through their phone. I don’t want anyone going through mines. I don’t want to be a paranoid , low self esteem girl friend. So I’m taking a break from relationships and focusing on me.
     
    thetrying.girlfriend, May 25, 2019
    thetrying.girlfriend, May 25, 2019
    #4
    EyesWideOpen, Nugget9, hope4healing and 1 other person like this.
  5. May 26, 2019 #5
    Hopefulgirl

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    The addict should be willing to do anything to prove that he can earn back his partner's trust. This includes having accountability software installed and having the SO check his phone if she needs that for safety.
     
    Hopefulgirl, May 26, 2019
    Hopefulgirl, May 26, 2019
    #5
    Angelicdream, Lostneverland, Susannah and 4 others like this.
  6. May 28, 2019 #6
    Bobske

    Bobske Fapstronaut

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    Sorry for you.
    Good of you to vent.
    I agree that you should never secretly go through his phone but:

    This I'd like. I might take it up with my SO. It would help me feeling we are in this fight together, she's helping and I'm not alone. And it would be a pillar of support against the addiction.
    Because it is not about you, do not worry yourself or feel less than you are. You are good!
    Its his addiction.
     
    Bobske, May 28, 2019
    Bobske, May 28, 2019
    #6
    thetrying.girlfriend likes this.
  7. May 28, 2019 #7
    Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut
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    I use accountability software on all my devices and have a big team of APs. It has been a big help to me.
     
    Tao Jones, May 28, 2019
    Tao Jones, May 28, 2019
    #7
  8. May 28, 2019 #8
    thetrying.girlfriend

    thetrying.girlfriend Fapstronaut

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    Yes I’m going to look in to that
    Do you have Any suggestions for apps for an android?
     
    thetrying.girlfriend, May 28, 2019
    thetrying.girlfriend, May 28, 2019
    #8
  9. May 28, 2019 #9
    Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut
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    I use Accountable2You. Very happy with it for the last four or five years.

    But note: He has to want it. If you are just playing babysitter to him, it will never work. You cannot force help on someone who does not want it.
     
    Tao Jones, May 28, 2019
    Tao Jones, May 28, 2019
    #9
    MaxP71, Lostneverland, hope4healing and 1 other person like this.
  10. May 28, 2019 #10
    Prov2416

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    First of all,

    It is great for you to vent here......with that said though, I want to give you some tough love

    You said in this thread title that he is your ex-boyfriend. If this is the case, why are you still so active in his life?

    If you care about him and yourself, you have to be willing to move away from this. It is not healthy for you. This man has to be willing to change on his own. He has already proven to you on multiple occasions that this is not the case.

    If you are waiting for him to come right out and say this to you it is NOT going to happen.

    Take care of yourself and stay away. Begin the healing process and move forward.
     
    Prov2416, May 28, 2019
    Prov2416, May 28, 2019
    #10
    MaxP71, Lostneverland, hope4healing and 1 other person like this.

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