Hello everyone

I never thought this could become such a problem. I'm 30 years old and have been using porn since I was 12 or so and I think now is the time to look for help. I've lost interest in real relationships with women since they won't give that instant gratification I've become used to. Like many of you I'm experiencing PIED and is very frustrating, to the point I've become a regular blue pill user due to the anxiety of not being able to perform. Now I always have some at hand in case I engage with a woman since I don't feel confident enough by myself.

I guess I'm looking for help until now because I feel I reached my rock bottom. Since last year I started seeing strippers and calling escorts, and while I don't feel particularly ashamed of the act per se, it is really affecting me financially, I'm spending a lot of money on girls and it bothers me to hell the fact that I feel unable to stop. Sometimes I feel the urge to call a girl and spend like 2 or 3 hours struggling until I finally tell myself the good old "one last time" and then I make the call.

I feel so powerless about this whole situation, it was just porn and now look at me. Now I'm masturbating as a getaway so I'm "relieved" and hoping that will keep me away from the girls and I know that is not the answer. Last time I called a girl was 4 days ago and last PMO was just like an hour ago.

Finally I would like to say I feel very grateful that this community exists, this is a subject that I find impossible to talk about with anyone. To an extent I feel less disgusted about myself now that I've found this site and realized there are so many guys living this hell.

 

Thank you, I will look into that.

 

Thank you Samuel, it feels good to know we are not alone in this journey.