1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Need words of encouragement

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by CJUnited, May 28, 2019.

  1. CJUnited

    CJUnited Fapstronaut

    17
    10
    3
    Hey guys,

    Im on 23 of no PMO. Im married so the last time I O was 16 days ago but I realized I wanted to go full hard mode for 90-120 days to speed up healing process. I've been struggling a lot the past couple days, wanting to look at something innapropriate or even start to venture down that road. This is the longest I've went in years without an O. It's really starting to get to me. Im also having problems with looking at other women. I don't know if it's a side effect to no PMO and brain is resorting to anything else it can get or what? I just want to get better and im tired if the grip that P and lust itself has on my life. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to go back now, I want to stay strong.
     
  2. Johnny_TightLips

    Johnny_TightLips Fapstronaut

    18
    20
    3
    Days 20-25 were some of the hardest days I ever went through on hard mode. Like the urges were insane, I genuinely almost snapped with how bad they became. I honestly think it's the brain, in desperation, trying to get you to PMO.

    Anyways I recently got past that and can confidently say I feel significantly better. The urges have almost disappeared, and are well manageable now. Try your best to not focus on the urges, and when they hit, embrace them for what they are, ask yourself why you're feeling this urge, ask yourself what you truly want and then channel that energy into something beneficial to you. In my case, nothing like a high intensity hour long workout to burn up that energy and feel like a million bucks afterwards. And if it's even more severe, a cold shower. Don't think about it, just do it. During that week you're in, I had to do one. It was worth it.

    Keep going, you got this!
     
  3. If you're married maybe you should consider regular relations with your partner? Our bodies are not made for PM , but they are made for marriage but if your partner is cool with no O then I think it would be a healthy temporary exercise.
     
  4. CJUnited

    CJUnited Fapstronaut

    17
    10
    3
    Thanks for the encouragement bro. It's great to hear that this is not just something that is happening to me. I'll keep going forward, what day are you on now?
     
  5. CJUnited

    CJUnited Fapstronaut

    17
    10
    3
    I would like to do that but I actually am seeing a Christian councelor and he recommended that I should try to stay clear of any kind of O in the next 90 days also and focus all my energy on how to find other ways to find joy and pleasure in my marriage. It will be worth it whenever I can make it 90 days clean!
     
    Tao Jones likes this.
  6. Yes I can see the logic in that, good job!
     
  7. Johnny_TightLips

    Johnny_TightLips Fapstronaut

    18
    20
    3
    My pleasure buddy! I'm currently on day 28 of hardcore mode, and I'm doing it right this time. My last streak before this one was 88 days but I made some crucial mistakes along the way. I made the most out of it, identified my problems, implemented solutions and it's been nothing but good since.
     
  8. CJUnited

    CJUnited Fapstronaut

    17
    10
    3
    Any advice you can give to me that far into it? It would really mean a lot so that I don't find myself in the same spot!
     
  9. Johnny_TightLips

    Johnny_TightLips Fapstronaut

    18
    20
    3
    Resist all urges, at all costs. Don't PMO, don't do either one of them. Don't look at P thinking it's ok you won't MO because you will eventually. Don't M without P thinking you'll be ok, the chaser effect is real. The best way to kill this addiction is to starve it, and that's exactly why hard mode is the way to go.

    You're lucky enough to be married, I'm still single, but if I was married, I'd be spending as much time as possible with my wife. In your case, you have that option, act on it. Rekindle the spark that already exists with your wife, those type of actions will strengthen pathways in your brain, the exact type you want to ultimately replace the pathways that already exist for P. (Even if you don't have sex)

    Finally, the best thing you can do is keep your mind occupied. It's so much easier to follow NoFap when your brain is occupied with other things. Spend time reading, workout harder at the gym, spend time with the wife, get into new hobbies, the options are limitless. I'm a huge fan of history and theology...I spend alot of time researching in these areas when I have nothing else to do. I also started exploring different genres of music, currently listening to Frank Sinatra whenever I'm meal preping.

    Stay vigilant at all times, and never get complacent, the addiction will hit when you least expect it.
     
    Tao Jones likes this.
  10. CJUnited

    CJUnited Fapstronaut

    17
    10
    3
    Thank you very much for the words of encouragement!
     
    Johnny_TightLips likes this.
  11. Fightyourlowerself

    Fightyourlowerself Fapstronaut

    190
    287
    63
    Hey man you can do it!!

    As mentioned above, your very lucky in that you can express yourself in your relationship so the way I see it all you just need to focus on 2 things:
    1) Considering the feeling of your partner so that your not asking too much.
    2) Keeping yourself in check in between.

    Good luck buddy, I will pray for you.
     
  12. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    769
    778
    93
    You can do it. Just resist and don’t fall back into it. I went 101 days hard mode. And then reset with PMO after 200 days. And since I have had a hard time getting back on track. It was so easy to resist temptation, until the one time I didn’t, and since then it’s been very hard again.
     

Share This Page