intro

Brand new member. just joined tonight. a friend told me about the site, so I'm checking it out. I'm mid 40's and married. love my wife and 3 kids. Just trying to break free of the compulsion of daily fapping

 

thanks for the encouragement. Day 2, but it is morning. got all day to get through. Weather is great, so I won't be stuck in the house. that always helps. Wife and kids running around after mid morning makes it harder to get privacy, so that will help with this quest as well. I'm still kinda poking around the site trying to see what all it has to offer.

 

Just updating: completed 12 days no P, 8 days no M, and 2 days since O (sex with wife). feeling really good about my journey so far. woke up this morning thinking,"wow, it's 2 weeks now" then thought some more and realized just over 1 week. Don't know what that is about.

 

another update. what a difference a week makes (since my last update) . got almost 2 weeks under my belt, then slipped up for no good reason at all. figured as long as I have stopped my streak, just as well enjoy a couple days. then got back on the wagon for 2 days. bringing us to today.... back to count of 0. I have adjusted the calendar on my profile page, and moving forward. Crazy thing is, I haven't really been all that tempted. just had a kinda sexy dream and woke up thinking, "I'll just play a little and edge. I've never been successful with that so far, but today I will." NOT! So here I am on day 1 again. I'm not discouraged though. I have found visiting these forums helps me a lot.

 

I forgot to include that I haven't slipped on the P. will be 3 weeks tomorrow. just on the M and O.

 

well.... I'm back. restarted my M counter and adjusted my P counter appropriately. As I look back over the past few years, the best success I have felt was while participating in this site. so , we'll try it some more.

 

wonky internet connection today.... may be for the best since the wife and girls were at in'laws all day. just to update, I'm still good on my counter. My wife is sleeping in the spare bedroom still, so the stronger temptation for MO will be when I go to bed alone. esp waking up alone. She has been sleeping in the other room since she found out about me attempting to have a sex chat with an old college acquaintance. I just asked her about using visual stimulation, and she shut me down. send a message to my wife the next morning. This has caused more upset with my wife than all the other times finding out about the porn viewing. lesson learned... I didn't even plan to do anything with it, just testing the waters to see what the fun may be.

 

still plugging along. not much change on the wife front. she seems quite cordial, but still sleeping in the other bedroom. the kids are pretending to believe that it is about my snoring... I think she is enjoying the solitude for reading etc. tbh, I am sleeping very well on my own as well. Just wish it all came about under different circumstances.

 

having a hard time keeping from MO. Still staying strong to resist P .

 

wellllllll...... I made it 12 days. wouldn't you know on new year's day when most people are starting fresh, I would falter. Just too easy when I'm in my bed alone. but if my wife were there, it would be just as easy in the next room. so that doesn't really come into play.

 

A little over a week and moving forward. Weekends are the toughest for me with the extra time on my hands. Tougher still with DW (Dear wife) sleeping in another room. I'm gonna try to pop in more often to keep up the fight

 

Back for more. Lots of MO but no porn. Wife moved back in the bedroom, so that's good. Still no lovemaking as yet.

 

still not getting any traction on the MO business. not sure where to draw the line between p-sub and legit porn. I may be justifying too much and saying I'm still clean. I'll run it by my accountability team and hopefully not trigger anyone by describing P-sub material

 

Still plugging along on my journey. Morning mo is tough to break. Starting over today.

 

welllllll... back to 0. too much free time in combination with procrastination from projects I actually need to do lead to way too much temptation.