Been struggling for years.

I think I really needed this community. I've had PMO in my life since the age of 9 and woke up to It's detrimental effects in my life around the age of 25. It's been such a hard struggle. While I've been able to abstain from P for about 2 months I've never been able to stop PMO for more than 2 weeks.

Due to the fact that I'm subject to Pure O(OCD) it hasn't made it any easier. I feel a deep sense of despair and obsess over my sexual taste after every depraved session. I also want to become a Buddhist monk at some point and would like to be over this enough to have some control as a monastic.

I have alot of work to do but I'm not afraid of it. One who isn't willing to climb the mountain will never know the exhilaration of standing on it's peak. I very well am determined to stand on that peak. I'm glad to see so many people of different backgrounds come together to support each other in this struggle.

Rest in will my friends.

 

That I do my friend, nearly every day at least for 30 minutes I practice vipassana. My aspirations for becoming a monk have less to do with PMO though. It's more of a personal pursuit of mines that I personally feel is integral to the human experience. I really appreciate your support though. This is a great indicator that I'm in a good community and I need that in this struggle.