Romantics are more likely to get addicted

it seems to me that many of us have big though injured hearts. ive spent many nights of my youth yearning for a woman to share my love with. spending my days in desperate nerdy pain and awkward attempts at relationships went unreciprocated. resentful as the cutest girls ALWAYS ended up with the biggest assholes.

our pain comes from a very human place, a very vulnerable place, but we waste it on porn. we get fake connections when we greatly desire the real. we are romantics in a world of superficiality. just as we want love, we want happiness, but porn sucks up our happiness and our lonely hearts get all the more empty.

its a great big world out there, and i think most of us just want to spend it with a real companion. we are much more likely to find that companion if we are out there, but this is how our cycle feeds itself.

to break free, we have to embrace the life of the real, and try as we might to dock our pain and let it fuel the real connections we actually form. tomorrow can always be better than today!

 

one of the reasons i worked so hard to save my marriage was BECAUSE if its miraculous beginning. i was on tablighi jamaat and decided to finally memorize the prayer of moses at the time when he was unemployed, homeless, and single. later that day I ran into the man who became my father in law. I could not believe that I found a woman whose body was my perfect type, that we agreed so much about how to raise our kids, that she was a video game watcher and fellow nerd who was into nerdy white guys like myself...

even after all the pain of the past two years, all the work we've put in, I would still describe my marriage as miraculous. the way we get along I highly suspect is rare, but I believe it is possible if you know how to work at it.

she may not be perfect, but she's perfect for me.

true love is very possible! never lose hope brother

 

Thats beautiful! I have put my GF through lots of shit caused by my past addiction myself, she somehow forgave me and I am forever thankful for that.

In my case it was probably caused by stress/anxiety from dealing with two severly ill parents while living far away, i have felt so helpless and I think porn and such was my escape without realising.

 

i really the porn problem happens "upstream" so to speak. its not that we get triggered as much as we are depressed and we embrace even short sighted quick fixes

 

Great to read and a good attitude, keep it up brother.

 

Bro! Romance IS THE MUNDANE! I sat down with my wife the other day. i made some milk tea and we had graham crackers. I smiled at her and asked how she liked it. She said ya this is great. THAT is romance bro!

for me the misery was the root cause. I had to just flee the dispair and live my life in an active and positive way. my fortune is that I already made the effort to save my marriage, now I just have to save myself

 

the cosmic reality does exist, BUT not everybody gets it. In Islam we believe (hopefully most) marriages are eternal in that we are still married in the afterlife. believe what you will.

I would rebut that every man is a half human because man is one 1 of 2 genders. you cant be whole in a human sense by definition since humanity includes women. Women are not the same as we are, and their influence in our lives IS important for us. I would say this is true for the majority. in my life i know I wouldnt be the man i am without my wife and i know she wouldnt be the woman she is without me. symbiosis is not weakness and desiring such symbiosis is not weakness.

romantics are simply those who by their mental state are more sensative to the benefits they lack in the absense of such symbiosis. i know if my family is ever gone from my house i become the laziest bum with no motivation

 

working on a marriage and giving a shit to improve yourself is rare. THAT is why the other shit is rare.

YOU decide if they are your soulmate EVERY TIME you choose your needs or theirs, your wants or theirs, your ease or theirs, their health ir yours. etc.

if your a pathetic arrogant loser, no soulmate for you

 

oh, i just think there is a cynical attitude which is ill founded. I agree that relationships become problematic, i would say this happens most of if not all the time, but what i want to emphasize is that the idyllic possibility is more achievable than we think, and i think more relationships are salvagable than we think. BUT what is rare is like I said the effort to make things work and often the knowledge of how to make it work.

so its not romance that is rare, it is the calibur of people to make it a reality

 

this was intended in a generic way. i wasnt directing this towards any particular person.