30+ days, 3 dimensions, a new model of recovery

I'm actually going to start presenting this to people face to face, if you see anyone else use it it'll end up being me or someone who stole it - perfectly fine but I suggest people don't pay money for it unless they add a lot of extra in addition to the core ideas.

I think I've come up with a system that's sustainable. I'll try to type this out quick.

Traditionally recovery is measured in a linear way, I call that length in this metaphor - length of time. Actually, even time is not really linear but cycling, there are repetitive processes like the circadian rhythm, which is what I have started relating "one day at a time" to - actual biological processes that repeat on a roughly 24 hour pattern.

So we measure length of time, and the idea is just more is better. But then there's breadth. Breadth of recovery would include a broader area of your life, so it's becoming two dimensional if we include more than just PMO. Maybe someone also has a substance issue, that's certainly another line. PMO is strictly speaking more of a media usage thing, so if someone addresses their social life that is yet a third thread. Finances? You ge the picture. The recovery becomes broader with multiple tracks.

Finally, as you can guess there's depth. I wasn't sure what to relate this to for a long time, but a basic one is the physical vs. mental. Not acting out physically but never addressing the mind is obviously not as deep, and in between that we might consider sensory input a middle level.

Now without getting into too many details and specifics, imagine if you're having a really stressful time - maybe you lost a romantic partner of 10 years, and on top of that you were fired from your job, come down with a cold.. If you have support in all 3 dimensions you'll have a much better chance. In that moment even if you have had a lot of sober time, you're vulnerable not to mention you may not have been sober in multiple lines/areas, but if you were already working on that, with social support not just for one addiction but with this understanding or at least people with understanding of each, you'll be a lot better off. And as far as depth goes, whether that's your own or if there are mentors and people who have gone deeper in any of those lines you're working on obviously that will also be a pillar of support.

So that's my model of a *solid* plan of recovery.

 

Ok so the breadth part is based on not just quitting one habit, but getting healthy in all areas of life. Again the traditional substance issue is legit even here. Even if someone doesn't use drugs, they eat. Maybe they eat junk food, or eat too much. I see that as being on the same continuum/line of biochemical stuff.

And I think that (the dimension of breadth) might be the most important because when we look out there recovery is almost always issue-specific, which means it doesn't have breadth at least in the way it is addressed. People may go to more than one recovery fellowship to address some of the main issues but I think there's a need for an integrated approach. After all how many meetings and programs can you work? Might as well put it together in one.

As for depth, I think PMO itself can be a good example. Even just PMO we have the physical act itself (M), P which is sensory input, O is the actual physiological response so a still physical but a little subtler. The physical movement of M is at a grosser level, and while both the sensory response of taking in P and the physiological of O are still happening with the body (though that's an involuntary response) it is deeper in the same sense that dealing with the biological processes of the body is deeper than dealing with the mechanical movement of physically masturbating. Furthermore, there are the thoughts we entertain in the form of fantasy, and on the mental level it can be further broken down in terms of the content and the intent to think of the content. So a list of activities going from more superficial to deep might look like this:

1. Masturbation (mechanical)
   
2. Porn (sensory)
   
3. Entertaining sexual thoughts
   
4. The intent to entertain sexual thoughts

That's why I started the volition challenge, because that's all about intent and would be at the deepest level on this kind of scale, like when the mind takes that first step. IMO and certainly for me if I work on 3 and 4 it would be extremely unlikely for me to relapse on the physical or sensory levels. At the same time no M or P serves as a bottom line, though I'm really working on more of a top line as they say.

 

@over50 so it does relate to purity in that if you regulate your intention it involves honesty.

 

If this makes sense to people, why not stop worrying about the day count and start adding breadth and depth to your program? It may just be you'll go longer if not just attain your goal - and maybe more than the day count goal.

 

Thank you. Yes the basic metric also brings up the question of how we understand time, and though it doesn't fit into this model it should be noted that there's a huge difference between linear clock time and time in terms of appropriate response to what's happening - or timing. In martial arts they talk about timing rather than just quick reflexes for example, because you have to execute the technique based on when it's appropriate and there is an order and logic to it. More broadly speaking, it is like the greek notion of kairos. Especially on a biological level I'm interested in how an understanding of circadiam rhythm as one-day-at-a-time and chronobiology principles may optimize each day in the day count, which ultimately relates to an appreciation of our context in the web of life.

And this relates to your point about language immersion I think, because the example of martial arts is effectively a physical dialogue involving a language of the body. Come to think of it, viewed from that perspective and then considering sexual encounter as another kind of bodily dialogue, it becomes a really diluted, frankly stupid expression of our individuality when we look at how porn and masturbation would condition us.

So a lot has to do with having a discriminating strategy of specificity rather than the very general logic of repetition, which as a carry-over from the way addiction works makes sense in the beginning - but certainly we move on from repeating words and phrases to a dynamic use of any given language, and of course the practice of using language naturally involves complexity and specific appropriate application.