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400 days NPM hardmode

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Wheelerwalker, Jun 1, 2019.

  1. Wheelerwalker

    Wheelerwalker Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone new member here. But I am active in reboot nation. Anyhow I am over 400 days npmo and have had my share of wet dreams and flatlined. I am not in a flatline at the moment havent had one in awhile. But I developed pied sevier case inability to gain a erection at all without ed meds and stimulation without stimulation I would lose erection. That all started when I was 19. At 18 I had a normal sex life but dropped heavily into porn after I called our relationship off. Big mistake on my end.... anyhow now I am 27 years old and I want my life back. My biggest concern is I still after 400 plus days have no libido... I go to the gym heavily have completely changed my appearance and fitness. But I have 0 libido or arousal. I have not even attempted to be with another woman yet and I an not sure I am ready since I show no signs of libido.. but I can say my morning erection happen very regularly now and are pretty hard when I get them. Any feed back on libido would be great thanks.
     
  2. Gota

    Gota Fapstronaut

    I'm almost 2 years 'hardmode'. During this time I had no wet dreams and no sex. I completely lost any desire to have orgasm. Maybe this is because I'm single and have no sexual partner, so I'm not able to 'rewire' in a 'natural' way. I also suffer from depression/anxiety and take medication since Jan 2018. I had a thoughts that maybe my libido loss can be attributed to medication I use, as it has strong side effects affecting sex drive, but I'm not sure. As you, I have regular morning erections (they never disappreared during my reboot), just no libido. Personally I think the libido loss is more related with my poor mental condition and not PAWS. Interestingly few days ago I was walking down the street and saw an attractive woman, I instantly felt sexual desire and even had partial erection. It was the first time in many months when I experienced sexual arousal. Day before I had a strong stress leading me to severe depression, I felt emotional relief the day after, so maybe there is connection between depression and libido loss.
     
  3. hitnmis

    hitnmis Fapstronaut

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    @Wheelerwalker Congrats Get to know the right girl take your time and i bet all is good
    Peace
     
  4. Wheelerwalker

    Wheelerwalker Fapstronaut

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    I have not met a girl yet. Havent been looking just working on me.
     
  5. homo_sapien the 7th

    homo_sapien the 7th Fapstronaut

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    I believe for a male, state of mind is all that matters. You have good mindset that's why you are doing the gym. Unconciously you are fine, which shows morning erections. But it is all about your concious state of mind. You are conciously blocking your sexual thoughts and desires,over these 400 days. You have completely shifted your energy into gym and building up yourself. I think the libido will be coming back really soon, but you must not think every day that "Oh no I don't have libido today". Sex is not the only thing,so just find a girlfriend, she will manage the rest. IF YOU CAN MAKE ZERO LIBIDO STATE, YOU CAN ALSO SWITCH IT BACK.
    PEACE OUT ALL THE BEST.
     
    theFounder likes this.
  6. Wheelerwalker

    Wheelerwalker Fapstronaut

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    I hope you are on to something. I would like for my libido to come back. I feel at times like I have just lost that attraction. But I hope that when. I get the opportunity with physical attraction that something will kick into gear. Idk I just would like to see random erections when I see a girl. But idk if that would be considered normal anymore. Lol
     
  7. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    Well, I’m only on day 7 without PMO, but my morning erections are back. And I use them with my boyfriend. Just turn over and hug him, to start to FEEL his body again, concentrating on how he feels, smells, making him feel my erection without getting to sexual. Before during sex I would just lay around and make him do the work. Now I am learning to act, to be the active part, showing him what I like. Oh, the kissing, simply cuddling, hugging and kissing to connect to the real thing again.
    PORN IS DEAD TO ME! Reading YBOP changed my view on this whole problem. I feel like a new person right now. Don’t know if this will help to get our relationship working again, but it’s a huge step for myself.
     
  8. Wheelerwalker

    Wheelerwalker Fapstronaut

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    Since my reboot I have lost 45lbs.. I have focused on me and making myself better. However I struggle every day. I lost my marriage to this, but also was able to see my ex true colors from this ordeal to her cheating and sleeping around and hold visitation of my kids from me. Right now it's a constant battle. I wish I could return things to normal but i feel it's all gone. Right now i mostly just miss the woman I met 7 years ago. We are still married going thru a divorce... I havent moved on because well I am still married two I am taking the divorce to my advantage for my reboot. But she has moved on multiple times from hiding a relationship while we together and me recently finding out who he was to recently admitting to sleeping with my daughters T ball coach. It's been ruff seeing the destruction of porn usage. But I have no desire to view it again. I just want a normal life is that so hard to ask for? I am pretty damn happy with me going over 400 days hardmode.. but this will be a life long journey
     
    AlexWillDoIt and cr7da8055 like this.
  9. I can only congratulate you on so many days, plus the weight loss.
    Seems natural to worry about the sex drive thing as long as you don't loose all the gains and start wanking again.
     
  10. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    Like the writers of the initial two posts, I have been going on hard-mode (almost monk-mode) for a prolonged period of time (18+ months at this point) while being single during the entire time as well. It has been a tough time overall since we live in a sex-crazed/obsessed society but not one I regret since it has made me heal for the first time since childhood. This time-period has really shifted my energy and thought capacity from lust, sex and fantasizing to other more fulfilling things in life. Primarily to family, friends, relatives, nature, life's little things and spiritual practices.
    I have also regained my faith in God which was almost dead during my PMO-years.

    Although it is possible to reboot in a relationship (at least I do think so) I also got to offer a belief that will probably be disliked by many but in order to be a man of character who wishes other doing well, some inconvenient truths have to be delivered despite the disapproval it might generate:

    A full reboot/recovery is going to be much harder if you're married or in a serious relationship already. Especially if the addiction has been severe, going on for many years and become really hard to get control over. Unless that reboot involves no sex or sexual activity during a prolonged period of time (during which you can create a real bond/connection), that means you will still be acting out and release plenty of dopamine, endorphins and other feel good hormones into your bloodstream during that activity. And there are few other activities generating more dopamine than sexual ones, the exact ones you try to get control over when rebooting from PMO. In other words, the reboot process will slow down significantly and a chaser-effect and relapse is more likely than if you go hard-mode.

    It is like put a jar with sweets on a sugar addict's bedside table after he/she has gained control over it for a month or two, not expecting him/her to eat any of them.
    As a single man, I have been lucky enough getting a chance to fully recover before I enter a relationship of any sort. It has sucked living the vol-cel lifestyle many times but nothing I regret really as it has been essential for my recovery and regaining the joy of life again. For all other men out there who are single and frustrated, I can only give the advice to fix yourself first (i.e. improve yourself) before entering into a relationship of any sort.
     

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