Day 236: A message to the rebooters that haven't succeeded yet

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Dragydof, Jun 4, 2019.

  1. Dragydof

    Dragydof Fapstronaut

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    Stop thinking noFap is just no PMO, PM or P.

    Rebooting is about changing your mindset to stop the search for instant gratification. IG can be anything from looking at girls sexually(irl or social media) to even using social media in a regular way. It's those things that stall your progress.

    I'm currently on day 236. My life improved immensely. Finally made the decision to become a musician and stop ignoring my beliefs.

    Now, I need to hype myself on social media to grow a following. At first I was hesitant because I know the effect, but I had to so I did it anyway.

    Well, that I felt. I feel my focus from porn has shifted. Which is a improvement, but it shifted towards social media. Now I notice myself doing that same things when I still PMOed. When something is hard or I'm sad instantly the urge to go for my phone hits. Just like the urge to PMO hit before.

    I feel my motivation, anxiety have worsened again. My mindset of looking at women only sexually has also returned somewhat.

    The community, which I do really appreciate, lays too much importance on not PMOing. We should be more focussed on improving all aspects of life, not just sexually. I'm not saying that there is no focus on those things whatsoever, but before it took a long time before I succeeded in having such a long streak, because needed to I learn about that aspect of rebooting.

    I kept wondering why other people can succeed at life while still doing PMO, social media, etc. But I now accepted that I'm just more vulnerable to instant gratification. This has a reason. I know this reason now and I'm doing my best to deal with that.

    Make improving your life your #1 priority and good things will happen

    David
     
  2. Excellent post. Thanks.
     
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  3. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    I don't get if this post is pro-pmo or anti-pmo...
     
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  4. Morningmistanew

    Morningmistanew Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your post! Helped me this am.
     
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  5. Username13

    Username13 Fapstronaut

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    "Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

    this is a biblical quote, i think there is a lot of wisdom in it. you can not get rid of an addiction without having a solid foundation. i think you build that foundation by creating a new lifestyle. if you do not build a solid foundation, your house will collapse.
     
  6. homo_sapien the 7th

    homo_sapien the 7th Fapstronaut

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    Hello bro..
    The way you feel slipping into more and more SOCIAL MEDIA usage is called Escapism (Not just phone usage anything which makes you feel good other than what you have done earlier(PMO)). I also had the same trouble. But luckily I came out of that. But I was never a regular phone user. So for me it was easy. But the problem for me is MY DESKTOP nowadays.
    After I quit PMO, my brain was searching OR craving , like a vampire looking for blood.
    What is the easiest thing to do nowadays- You just sit somewhere and bend your neck and your eyes will be on the phone and the internet access will take you to somewhere, whERE YOU GET a small dose of Dopamine. But if you step out of that comfort ZONE and just look around, the mighty brain starts feeling pain and manipulating you like a pro-
    saying- " Oh my dear boy please don't do this to me, please listen to me, why do you want to go out, just relax take some daily dose, after all you just have one life."
    NEVER LISTEN TO THESE TRICKS. don't worry these are just ups and downs THE MIGHTY BRAIN trying to compensate the receptor for working properly, but don't give in yourself always be careful. ALL THE BEST.
     
  7. Dragydof

    Dragydof Fapstronaut

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    It's definitely anti-PMO. But my point is that rebooting isn't just not PMOing.

    I had the same. I didn't even have the social media apps or anything like that. Good thing I noticed now so I can deal with it.
     
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  8. homo_sapien the 7th

    homo_sapien the 7th Fapstronaut

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    Anyways, thank you bro. Because you helped us to see something more than Nofap.:emoji_v:
     
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  9. Klenton

    Klenton Fapstronaut

    Thank You. motivated me indeed
     
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  10. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

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    Your streak started the same day as me
     
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  11. User number one

    User number one Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing. 100% agree on IG. If it’s not PMO it’s social media or unhealthy food for me..
     
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  12. Wuzzaap

    Wuzzaap Fapstronaut

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    Yup , u r right my friend . Nofap is about changing ur mindset , to find the better version of urself . Quitting PMO will help u reach ur maximum potential . Only with hard work . quitting PMO is just a tool .
    When we quit porn we will gain more confidence which will help u express urself , whether at work or in relationships . Gain confidence , gain what u want easily , u will start feeing more self worthy , thats how u become much happier .

    Improve urself and use NoPMO as a tool to reach ur ambition . Not the other way .
    Improve urself u will be able to quit . Its not specifically the quitting that will improve u , quitting will “help” u improve.
     
  13. VanGuy

    VanGuy Fapstronaut

    Interesting post, I have sworn off social media entirely and plan to keep it that way because I see it as putting the device (iPad/phone) that is the opportunity to access porn back in my hands.
    I can see the need in a sense to promote your music (I’m a gigging muso as well) but I find it’s a slippery slope. So instead of social media I usually promote my shows through related associations that upload to their own social media sites. It’s not ideal but it works so far.
    To me social media (which is mostly young women competeing for attention) and extended internet use are like an alcoholic hanging out in a pub but not drinking.
    I limit my access to my devices to before 12pm in the day (I’m studying full time atm) mainly because it’s been my experience that extended usage of internet just slides right back into bad habits.
    Having said that I’m nowhere near as far down the track as you are, so I may feel different when I get there.
    Congrats on the 236...good on you
     
  14. Guysavi

    Guysavi Fapstronaut

    This is what i believe also. Doing nopmo is part of the bigger issue one has to confront. It is to make one's life worth living through focusing on one's health, hard working, achieving dreams and so on...
     
  15. neutral1000

    neutral1000 Fapstronaut

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    Absolutely right.
    I've found myself and my life goals surrounding PMO. Quitting PMO left me with false feelings of my life being pointless.
     
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  16. !!!10years!!!?!

    !!!10years!!!?! Fapstronaut

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    yeah, I agree with you, but NoFap is like the key, now you have time even to look into your life , and you are obliged by yourself to change your life to the good.

    any way congrats for your success, you walk far away from it, it is even now just a memory for you right!
     
  17. dlansky

    dlansky Fapstronaut

    I appreciate this post. I made it a couple of years without PMO'ing, but part of what led to my relapsing was being too lackadaisical about letting myself be driven by impulse rather than intention. Your post is a reminder that we need to focus on being deliberate with our actions rather than acting on urges, even if at first those urges don't lead to PMO. As soon as we start letting ourselves get away with letting other things control us, we are back on the path to addiction.
     
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  18. Dragydof

    Dragydof Fapstronaut

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    Yeah you're right. I oftrn notice that when my urges for PMO are more apparant, all other urges for social media or such are also way much. Being aware of that is soomething really valuable

    Congratulations on making it a couple years! If you've done it once you can do it again!

    I also notice that when i'm living off of my urges too much, my mindset turns bad again.

    I do agree with you abiut not living on urgrs, but I think the nuance lies deeper. Sure living purely impulsive isn't the way to go. But you should still allow youself to follow your feelings. Even when some are impulsive

    One of the reasons for my former PMO habits was not trusting my feelings/emotions. But I am now learning to so excluding all urges isn't my way to go.
     
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  19. dlansky

    dlansky Fapstronaut

    Fair enough. Perhaps it comes down to emotions being a good servant but a poor master -- they can factor into our decisions, but we also need to consider whether what we want in the moment is going to be an obstacle to what we want more.
     
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  20. User number one

    User number one Fapstronaut

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    Totally agree
     

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