Help me! The urges are getting stronger!

Don't you hate the feeling when your home alone, have nothing to do, and only feel like watching porn? That's totally me right now and I really need your help.

I know I have lots of activities I can do right now like jogging, riding my bike, reading, meditation, etc. But damn, the urges are getting stronger and stronger right now. All I feel like doing right now is staying up late and watching porn.

The idea of waiting until everyone is asleep, taking off my clothes, hiding under the covers of my bed, fapping off, and watching porn seems so alluring and attractive, but deep down, I know what would happen afterwards...

The next day, I would be feeling guilty and ashamed of myself. My energy and mood would be dropped drastically and the whole day would be ruined. I don't want to get back on that cycle again; it's a terrible, terrible feeling to have.

I know PMO is not worth your time at all. Not even a minute, not even a few seconds. Don't even try to peek (that means no bikini pictures) because nine times out of ten, you will most likely end up relapsing so don't even think about it.

I know there are absolutely no health benefits of doing that shit in the first place. All PMO is going to do is ruin your life and stop you from achieving your goals and becoming your greatest version.

I know how truly evil and disgusting the porn industry is. I don't want to ever support that dirty business, but if I do decide to watch their filth, then I'm essentially being a hypocrite and supporting that business anyways.

So tell me, you don't want to support a business run by demonic forces, do you? I sure hope not.

Despite this however, my mind is like a spoiled little brat, always demanding me to get it's fix. It's like taking your child to the grocery store and as soon as you pass down the cereal aisle, your child would be throwing a temper tantrum, all because he/she wants a box of Cocoa Puffs.

So what would you do? Would you buy the child a box of Cocoa Puffs? Or would you simply say no and instead buy the child a box of Kashi Chocolate Crunch instead?

As a vegan, Kashi cereals are the shit! I love topping it with blueberries, hemp seeds, chia seeds, walnuts, almonds, goji berries, etc.

Anyways, I need some motivation. I don't want to relapse again because I promised to stay true to myself. I know what it feels like to relapse.

At first, it feels like you're in heaven. It's all sunshine and rainbows, peaches and coconut cream, vegan oatmeal cookies and almond milk. But once you finish, you know what happens afterwards. I know that feeling all too well, trust me.

I'm feeling so horny as I'm writing this right now. The urges are starting to really overwhelm me and I know what happens when I give in; that would only bring me back to that vicious cycle I'm all too familiar with. I don't want that to happen again.

The bottom line is, I need your help right now. I need some good motivation from you guys and gals that should hopefully help me win this battle. Even if I do end up failing anyways, at least I tried my very best, unlike last time.

-Captain Rex