Seeking validation from women, how to change?

It's human nature to wanna be liked, but as you already realise, this will come to bite you big time in the behind if you keep it up. As you say, it's merely a game, but your girlfriend will never see it that way. You also have to realize that you will loose her if you continue, and the next girlfriend you get will not approve of this behaviour either. The world is full of sad, old flirty men, and trust me, you don't wanna be in their shoes. Because you will reach the point where no quality woman will wanna have anything to do with you. However, you are clearly clever enough not to go there, you just need the right incentive.

It might help to realize that the women you are interacting with probably don't care about you as much as you think. For you it's a game, and for them it's just entertainment. Women in general don't have a shortage of men wanting to interact with them, so you basically just fill their time. They won't hesitate getting new male friends like you, and they probably already have them on the side. This sounds harsh, but the internet is a pool of strangers masquerading as "friends". Meanwhile, you have a girlfriend that loves you and probably really cares for you. You don't wanna trade that away for random internet friends.

Lastly, there will be no point in this endeavour where you will feel truly liked, you will always be looking for more and the next "fix" of attention. Meanwhile, your relationship has the potential of making you truly happy and fulfilled in the long run.

 

I used to do the same thing with guys. I learned that you can't just change for a person, you have to change for yourself. What it usually comes down to is low self esteem and low self worth. The fact that you have someone that loves you for you is one of the most beautiful things. Please be open with her and explain why you do what you do. It hurts because in her mind, she thinks she's not good enough, pretty enough, etc. To be with you. Thing is, it's not her problem, it's yours. I would look into working on yourself internally. Cut out social media, seriously, delete it, put it on the back burner and face yourself and who you are. Even if you don't like it, you will start seeing things in yourself you didn't realize. Good and bad. Start doing things that make YOU happy. Don't do it for others. Don't put on cologne and dress nice if you're doing it for attention, only do it if it makes your soul feel good. Get back to basics and open your eyes that your girlfriend could've left you right then and there but she has a fight in her. So do her respect and fight for you too.

 

Yes it’s nice to be flattered and to be flirting with other guys/girls etc...hiwver at the end of the day or life...what do you want your obituary to read...?

Training Good passed away today..he was well liked by the ladies. He never settled down to one even though GF was the love of his life. He liked the distant attention, the immediate fix and ego stroking. He didn’t desire anything more than being a lone wolf. At times he struggled with fears and insecurity, too afraid to risk needing someone....etc
OR
TRAINING GOOD passed away today. He was a ladies man, but his GF the love of life was by his side until the end. Theirs was a truly intimate relationship. They shared everything, all hopes, dreams and fears. They accepted each other faults and all. At times they struggled, but nothing could keep them apart. The vulnerability expressed openly and honestly, inspired many newlyweds.

Just a born romantic who believes love , commitment and compassion can conquer all. If BOTH people can work together.