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Pa/sa advice please

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Dazedconfused, Jun 22, 2019.

  1. Jun 22, 2019 #1
    Dazedconfused

    Dazedconfused New Fapstronaut

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    I been with my husband about 22 years and he went off when he got triggered. Went off means he up and left with a goodbye. I could really use advice when a pa/sa goes rogue. What is the progression when they leave? What did you do when you left? What was your frame of mind? Do you totally detach or retaliate, cut off all correspondence?

    Pa/sa advice on what you have done please to help me understand the mindset of my husband. Thanks.
     
    Dazedconfused, Jun 22, 2019
    Dazedconfused, Jun 22, 2019
    #1
  2. Jun 23, 2019 #2
    Trappist

    Trappist Fapstronaut
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    Getting up and leaving could be leaving the thing that triggered him?
    Not you, I would guess, but the P or SA part.

    I get up and leave the thing that triggers me,
    in order to avoid further triggering.

    How long is he sober?
    Or is he?

    Not enough info, but good you reach out in 1st post.
     
    Trappist, Jun 23, 2019
    Trappist, Jun 23, 2019
    #2
  3. Jun 24, 2019 #3
    Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    More info needed I think. Does he just up and leave and say goodbye when you want to talk about your feelings or how it's affected you?
    I say that because that is my first instinct when my SA starts to feel anxiety and anger, and the resentment come. But in those situations I stay , and ride the wave with her . Even though my intinct is to get mad, or punch a wall, or just leave the house. I know my SA needs space to feel what she's feeling. And if I can ride the wave with her , that helps so much I feel
     
    Chefb87, Jun 24, 2019
    Chefb87, Jun 24, 2019
    #3
    Growing Man likes this.

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