Porn has screwed me up

When you're in the middle of your addiction and will to quit it seems like you're being too drastic, that maybe you can see things under another point of view instead of cutting them out of your life completely... everything looks like a good reason to keep stucking in the cycle, that you are not worth it but that's just addiction talking. After a few days sober you start looking at it all differently but it's not a joke going through this phase here.

 

It really does mess with your head. I feel like I can think clearly when I'm not using it for awhile.

 

Yeah, I just recently really started putting in the effort to stop and I'm amazed at how many times I'm thinking about it during the day. It's a path I've taken so many times that it feels like I can't spend a moment without it on my mind, especially when I've been away from it for a while.

It has always been the way I cope, and I'm dreading the first time I have to deal with serious stress in my life now that I'm really trying. Failure always seems so close at hand. I'm on this site right now because I'm home alone with my computer. I feel like such an idiot that I can't just make this problem go away, but so grateful something like NoFap exists to help me along the road. Porn is the worst.

 

Don't feel an idiot for that, if it would be that simple alcoholists/drug addicts and so on wouldn't even exist cause you could just stop doing it but it's not how it works unfortunately...

 

Thanks, that's very true.

 

The thing that makes this so hard is it's such a private addiction. If you're an alcoholic or on drugs eventually others will start to pick up on it, but you can be addicted to porn indefinitely and no one will notice.

And it's hard to fight because all of us are walking around with tiny devices in our pockets that can access millions of sites in seconds. It's extremely hard to fight. And it's basically FREE (outside of the cost of internet). So I feel like we have so much stacked against us.

 

OF course. That's why I quit. Porn is no bueno.