The reason why you are addicted to "sissy-porn"

That's exactly it. It's an escape. And the more hurt and embarrassed

you have felt in your life, the more inadequate you feel the further away you want to escape. That is why becoming a sissy is the ultimate escape...it's the complete opposite of who you are.

 

Its definitely an escape but i think its an escape through submission, so it is the submission fundamentally that keeps one chained. Through submission they obtain their escape from worries and let the leader take charge. Its a coping mechanism for anxiety. By submission they know the "dominant" or "leader" wont get pissed off on them and wont attack them.

Anyone with this issue can confirm or infirm this?

 

I would be careful before saying that "it is the only thing that gives me joy". It does not give you joy. It merely gives you a temporary relief from reality, which paradoxically, is what makes your reality so painful that you have to escape it. It is a self-feeding circle. Stop it. Watch the anxiety. Be there, feel the pain and observe it. You will see it dissipating bit by bit and you will feel what freedom really is.

 

Like I have said in another thread, the addiction is just a symptom. Once you kick the dependence then it's time to start dealing with the underlying causes. Most commonly not having received acceptance and love from parents. Do all the kinds of therapy you can find, read spiritual books, read philosophy, love yourself and accept your past.

 

For anyone needing help with this fetish please see a thread in my profile.

 

I think I'm obsessed with femboys because of porn

 

I have a lot of taboo obsessions / fetishes due to porn progression.

 

I have the same problem,I am defo not gay,I'm not attracted to men,but I fantasise about being the woman when watching porn,I sometimes buy and wear slutty woman's clothes,act girly and feel hugely excited,but the shame and guilt has given me anxiety and has caused problems in my relationships,it has caused me ED and I need blue pills to have sex with my gf,past gf's have also said they struggled to connect with me,the shame and guilt are making me stand offish,I can't seem to hold down a relationship,it's ruining my life,I am 43 and my problems only really started in my 30's before then I was a happy guy chasing woman on the weekends and had no problem getting it up

 

Interesting post here.

I have had and still do have success in dating. Despite all that I have still thought about intercourse with a guy. But I like some of your points where your whole other wasted time habits increases this fetish as well as a ppl’s perception of you


Good post btw!

 

I watched transwoman porn for a while but I don't had cross-dressing with it at the same time and 0 homosexually interest,
I watched transwoman porn because its was fun to me,(remember that transgendered person girl from hangover movie ? lol)
I quit transgendered person and normal porn for `Lesbian porn` Japanese ones,
since there is no guy in there, and only girls , In my mind its more natural to watch it or fantasize about only girls! its not ?

i don't think transwoman porn sounds gay, if they are girl like-sound like but having a penis
i think male-she (guy with vagina!) porn its more weirder and gayer than transwoman porn,

since I know the porn is fake and 100% staged, from day 1
I try to watch real-sex clips,from real life cases, not porn
and its feels much more normal and hotter than porn....
for now im good, I don't watch anything at all , time to time,
I never fantasize with or for porn or being in porn, being in it as a guy, yes,
but only in Japanese ones,aka javhd
some days I got feel interested and motivated to became a sex performer in a little porn company,even, but since im a spiritual person , its not my thing to do...

 

I'm just here to say that anyone who stumbles across this like I did, thinking that this lot were a bunch of Catholic madmen. Try listening to them they're actually mostly right. You aren't required to go full abstinent on all porn if that's not your thing, certainly ain't mine.

I'd been watching this type of porn on and off since my early teens until it basically clicked for me. I'm not bad looking (If I do say so myself) and have had many relationships over the years it's just in-between those relationships where I fall back into this type of porn.

This sort of porn 'preys' on you when your emotions and self esteem tend to be at a low point. It tells you that you'll be desired, wanted and as a man you understand that desire. It also goes into the submission area wherein it basically tells you that everything would be easier if you were submissive (Which in any real life situation is hardly the case)

It's a 'parasite' that leaves you worse off then when you started, hating yourself more then you already did, all for a short term feeling of desire. There are also arguments to be made about connecting more with women in porn but I fail to see how this would create the 'Addictive' effect of the genre.

Chances are you're not gay, bi or gender fluid you're most likely just lonely or sad. Take a step back and address the core of the issue rather then the symptoms. That's the only advice I can give.

 

Hello, I read through the thread and Syx, I just want to say I'm rooting for you because I recognized a lot from your story. Like someone else in this thread I was addicted to gaming (WoW and CS, 5000+ hours) and like you I watched sissy porn a lot, as well as other categories involving obeying men and submitting to mean women (cuckold, foot fetish etc). And yes, it is insecurity and feeling weak in normal life that drives me to both gaming addiction and porn addiction: both are about fulfilling a power fantasy, having control (funny thing even submissive porn is about control).

I even hooked up with some women (paid) and men (free, men are easy to find...) to try out those fantasies thinking that maybe just doing it for real would get those fetishes out of my system, but that was like giving cocaine to a weed addict, DON'T. The same guilt that makes you feel ashamed after fapping will make you paranoid about STIs, which IMO I deserve to have but fortunately I did not get (tested negative). And those experiences did not satisfy or help my journey of self discovery whatsoever (other than knowing not to repeat it, despite the temptation still being there).

I think it's good that you recognize the source of your addiction. I DON'T think you should be ashamed of your fetish itself, but only be ashamed to the point where it motivates you on your path to recovery. There are people that live a wholesome BSDM lifestyle because they have embraced their submissive feelings and there are people that successfully 'sensitized' themselves back so they can enjoy vanilla porn and vanilla sex with their girlfriends/wives again. My point is that fetishes themselves aren't shameful, because they can be used for good (when you meet people you can openly share them with in a healthy way) and bad (when it causes you to isolate yourself and hate yourself).

I'm still working on watching less porn (I'm not a nofap guy, just stumbled here looking for real-talk on sissy porn), but I have a leash on my porn addiction and somehow gotten into a healthy romantic and sexual relationship with a girl that I can openly talk with about my fetishes (it took me a while to open up) and NO not because she's a sexual deviant because she is not.

I'm not there yet but I hope I can at least offer some advice to help you recover towards talking to women again, and feeling less shitty in general. When I was in a similar mental state as you describe I remember thinking about sex with every single woman I met and that is hugely distracting when you're actually trying to form any relationship (friends, romantic or otherwise). Try to befriend some women and decide from day one you'll never bang her, no simping or white knighting allowed but just be friends. You can compliment and flirt, but the priority should be having a platonic good time for you and them. I'm sure you know what simping is but don't laugh at her jokes if they weren't funny, don't pretend to agree with her if it's a stupid opinion, etc. 80% of guys are simps for girls, 10% of alpha dickheads, you want to be in the middle of that. Actually, disagreeing on stuff with girls is a lot of fun, I mean when you banter on trivial stuff like cats vs dogs or GNR vs Nirvana (AVOID POLITICS THOUGH). That's why simps don't get the girl, because they don't offer anything interesting.

When corona is over enroll in a gym for a combat sport. It's a safe place where you learn to deal with physical confrontation. And gyms may be scary but in my experience they are always accepting of newcomers as long as you are motivated to improve yourself and you sound like you are. I would recommend a full contact sport like kickboxing, boxing, brazilian jiu jitsu, something where you can feel the pain because that's closer to real life scenarios. You probably won't get the chance to face your past bullies, the next best thing is to be immune to future bullies. You don't need to become a star fighter, when you're experienced enough to know that you can do some damage in return to anyone who tries to mess with you, that knowledge alone gives you confidence for a lifetime.

I hope this contains some useful stuff for you. I'm 33, far from a wise man but my happiness grew with my age so I hope that happens for you too.

 

i think it does not matter what kind of porn you are like to watch,
if you don`t get obsessed with `weird fetishes` like cross dressing &...
but for me its just a different world or different taste lets say, com-pairing sissy porn to normal porn,
i think sissy porn is one of the very normal ones com-pairing to whipping porn or C-ild porn or things like that...

 

To the OP I agree with all you have written but within the sissy porn fetish, as well as low self-esteem which acts as the driver to seek it out is the humiliation factor. Some guys have an emasculation/humiliation aspect to their sexual fantasies and sissy porn fits that bill totally. I agree, the only answer is to stay away from porn, all kinds and let our brains heal.

 

This is what meditation is about. Learn to recognise the anxiety and uncomfortable feelings. Learn to observe them, experience them wash over you and know it will pass.

It is a skill I am trying to practice and develop.