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Motivation to continue is fading away...

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by wheelgauge, Jul 10, 2019.

  1. wheelgauge

    wheelgauge Fapstronaut

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    ...I had this 6 days streak, which finished today. I went crazy and PMOed 3 times, and my willpower to continue just seems to disappear. The last streak before this, I reached 20 amazing days! I can't believe this is going off the track, but that's the reality for me right now... Just venting a bit here, in case some of you are going through the same issue.
     
    Asgardian36 likes this.
  2. wheelgauge

    wheelgauge Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, but it seems so hard when the urges appear... The thing is that I search for things online, knowing that they can lead me to relapsing. This is so depressing, but I will overcome this. I swear to myself that I won't give up until it's done.
     
  3. I had a streak over four months long and slipped. Was very hard to stay away after that. Now I’ve had streaks that have gone from one week to one month. I’m over two weeks now.

    We just need to keep trying and keep working on responding better to triggering situations.

    For me I’m losing interest big time in porn. But unfortunately now have big temptations to get into unhealthy sexual interactions with women or men. Been going to SAA meetings and staying in touch with friends who understand my situation and encourage me to not give in.

    I certainly understand the frustration. Seems to be a never ending battle.
     
  4. wheelgauge

    wheelgauge Fapstronaut

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    True!! I even feel my heart racing and hands shaking a bit! It's like running away from it isn't an option...
    This frustration comes and goes, but I will reboot myself for good sooner as I can! This is like a drug...
     
    Kiz Whalifa and Deleted Account like this.
  5. One huge factor that I finally had to admit to is I need face to face help from others. By that I mean interactions on just the internet are not enough. Internet places like this are a help but more is needed.

    There’s a lot that goes into kicking this addiction and getting help from others is a part of that.

    Are there Sex Addicts Anonymous
    (SAA) meetings in your area that you can attend?

    You can look for meetings at SAA-Recovery.org.
     
    wheelgauge and Kiz Whalifa like this.
  6. wheelgauge

    wheelgauge Fapstronaut

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    Unfortunately, I don't know any...
    Thanks! I'll take a look at it.
    I reached this conclusion, but I keep falling... It's like this wasn't internalized in my mind yet! I will seek help from people that I can trust for sure.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. saltycashews

    saltycashews Fapstronaut

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    Shoot, I'm sorry man. That place sucks. I've been there again and again... and again. I've had to deal with this for almost 15 years and I've been there. Sometimes I wish over coming PMO was just like high school, and eventually you'd just graduate out with half a** grades haha.

    I dont' know if you've tried this, but it's always helped me tone down the cravings. It's always an underlying trigger for me, and until I know what it is, I can't seem to get rid of the urges, so I sit down and just ask myself "why" five times. This was a recent on for me.

    I acted out and PMOed. Why? Because I had this urge that never went away and I feel way depressed. Why? I feel depressed because I got ghosted by this girl. Why? Because I thought I had a chance and she seemed to like me and now I wonder what's wrong with me. Why? Because I can't seem to make it work with any girl and I'm tired of being alone. Why? Because I've not been out with friends in a while and I haven't been on any dates in a while.

    Most of the time I find out really why I've been hurting and then when I fix that my cravings go away. I hope that helps my man. I'm fighting the good fight right along side you!
     
  8. wheelgauge

    wheelgauge Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, @saltycashews! I never thought about asking these questions... I will do it, but it can't be my only way to deal with the urges. I need to have more methods, and I need to find more. This is one you said will be one of them...
    True story...
     
  9. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    I’ve experienced this plenty. To me the fact you PMOd 3 times tells me you are thinking you are engaging in a behavior that will satisfy you but it obviously doesn’t. So when the first time doesn’t satisfy you try again. I’ve experienced that too.

    I think the key is to not be too hard on yourself right now. Take the time to reflect/meditate on why you don’t want to PMO. Consider what life free from PMO is like. Consider what life enslaved to PMO is like. If you really reflect on both possibilities your motivation may improve.
     
  10. Imagine the person you absolutely despise the most.
    Now, imagine that person, that creep, that asshole, is the one trying to convince you to jerk off to porn. Don't you want to punch his lights out? Doesn't he make you angry?
    When you look at it from that perspective it won't allow you to be weak.
    Get mad. Refuse to give in. Don't give that piece of crap any more satisfaction.
    Tell him to go fuck himself.
    Do not let that piece of crap have power over you.
     
    wheelgauge likes this.
  11. Keep going!

    My fiancée is on day 160 and you will get there too.

    Was it easy for him? Nope. Just one day at a time. Don’t think about the days ahead just keep going.

    If you know that being on your phone or computer is a trigger why not give yourself a different challenge? Instead of focusing on not watching porn, trick your brain by giving yourself the challenge “no internet for 48 hours” or something like that?
     
    wheelgauge and Ogikubo like this.
  12. wheelgauge

    wheelgauge Fapstronaut

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    It's not easy to do it, but I need to try!
    Exactly!! This is an issue of mine!
     
  13. wheelgauge

    wheelgauge Fapstronaut

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    Damn, @Ogikubo! I never saw it this way! I'll write this on the list that I made today with tips that I found. Thanks a lot.
     
    Ogikubo likes this.
  14. wheelgauge

    wheelgauge Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate your support a lot! Thank you! I do hope to reach all these days without PMO.
    For me it's pretty hard to stay away from the internet, but I need to give it a try! I've been into this addiction for too long. I need to make some sacrifices in order to succeed...
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2019
    saltycashews likes this.
  15. saltycashews

    saltycashews Fapstronaut

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    You're completely right. Those questions haven't been the quick fix, but they have helped me remove the real causes of my urges bit by bit. Keep up the fight man.
     
    wheelgauge likes this.
  16. Been there plenty of times.
    The thing I personally learned recently is to find another motivation that will help you quit.For me, it was trying to get a girl (not a success story though).
    Just keep plugging away and look for patterns in your behavior. Once you find something, you can start chipping away at it.
     
    wheelgauge likes this.
  17. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    Your not alone. I used to have so much willpower and could say no easily. And then sometimes I can’t say no at all and I just don’t even want to try to stop. Sometimes I don’t even know why I’m still doing it, like I am still wanting to.

    But I don’t want to WANT to pmo anymore. Know what I mean??
     
    wheelgauge likes this.
  18. wheelgauge

    wheelgauge Fapstronaut

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    Sure! I got it.
    Exactly!!! It feels like an obligation!
     
  19. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    Just My Opinion: we cannot fight any addiction in one day, just as we cannot lift a 20-kg dumbbell with no prior exercise or proper diet. Even a one-month training at the gym and proper diet may not be sufficient to help you raise the 20-kg dumbbell.

    Willpower won't help fight addiction. Rather use the willpower to get resources that will help you fight addiction. I go to gym daily. That makes me feel good. I have stuck quotations on my room wall. Life quotes. I buy seeds, make them sprout, and then eat them as protein supplement. These small things help at times.

    This link is helpful:

     
    wheelgauge, LavaMe and Rebooter45674 like this.

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