My journey

So I'm not sure what day of my journal I'm on. But to be honest it is not relevant. I haven't fapped. That's not to say it's been easy. It hasn't. But I have no doubts anymore. Before I had an ap I would fap and make excuses and say I failed and woe is me and I'll try harder and this that and the other.
Anyway now that I have an ap I don't see fapping as an option anymore. It has made a big difference. Maybe that will change and I'll get weaker or I just won't be able to resist but right now I don't see that happening. I still haven't gotten any random boners. I don't think that's a good thing and I think maybe it shows some mental damage from watching too much porn and wanking too much.
Anyway I hope they will appear. I know it will be a challenge and interfere with my will power but this site is nofap-not no boner.

Any thoughts anybody?

 

Good stuff peetamalark. I see you've gotten to 69 days before. Well done. A big achievement.
Keep strong.

 

A fap free day today. I found it difficult to keep sexual thoughts out of my mind though. But I didn't find t particularly hard to resist fapping. I really didn't see it as an option.
Something has changed in me. I don't feel the need to give in to fapping. I don't know if that will last or not. I still don't feel particularly good about myself. I suppose that will come. Hopefully. That's a different matter though. I need to get more active and get away from technology.
I'll put that into practise immediately.

It my mothers birthday today. she died 2 months ago. R. I. P. ma.

Peace.

 

Thanks seventyniner. I appreciate that.
Anyway.......I am still brimming with confidence that I will not masturbate. I just know that I won't. For the time being. Maybe this confidence leaves me open to being taken by surprise. If buts and maybes.
Discipline is one of my core values. I'm not doing so good on the discipline lately. I'm not eating so healthy and I'm not exercising as much as I need to. Granted I'm not fapping but I need to control the other aspects of my life also. Discipline begets discipline they say.
Another of my core values is calmness. Today was a calm day. I was getting frustrated but I did remain calm and I'm pleases about that.
Another of my core values is conviction-that gos hand in hand with discipline I think. Conviction is more long term and I need to concentrate harder on this if I'm to be the person I want to be.
As regards positivity (my next core value-I have five) I find it more difficult to be positive as the day gos on. I find myself having some negative and some sexual thoughts. I think my work life is causing this. I'm disorganized at the moment with lots of loose ends on the go. I felt I was more positive and free minded last month when things were simpler in work. This is something I will aim to address next week in work.

The reason I mention work is because it effects my state of mind which in turn effects my NoFap. I don't want work to interfere with my state of mind when I'm doing so well.

Anyway in general I'm reasonably happy. Could be better but could be a lot worse. I'm going to have an a
Great weekend camping this weekend.

Peace out folks.

 

A great weekend camping without fapping or technology.

 

I had a lazy morning. Slept in for work because I have flexible hours and then didn't have time to meditate. I was then tempted to go on a porn site but picked nofap instead. It's amazing how a disruption to routine will mess you.

Routine enforces discipline I believe. A good routine is important.