Welp. Back at the questions to try and understand the escort thing!

First of all I want to truly thank all of you for who responded to my last thread and was honest and open with me and some who believed and some who didn’t. My main thing now is what’s been exposed and how it could happen.

Recap:

Found out ex fiancé was messaging an NO full service erotic massuese etc. by my findings.

Found out about Skype cam girls
Cam girls on p sites
Says he used adult friend finder and passion.com for cam girls??

Found out he was texting and messaging escorts virtually just about every day whilst at work.

Then he states he was only paying them for pictures and videos but didn’t see them. Just the Masseuse and then...

Then he admits to going to AMPs

We broke up back in November after finding. He saw another escort for a BJ. (Escort actually told me lol)

Finally after begging and pleading I asked for a lie detector test and as my therapist suggested as well the same.


He admits he slept with three escorts prior to our engagement -2017 but stopped “because it was too much it wasn’t what I wanted.”

And the others? He states we’re strip teases and he either finished himself or they did it for him by hand but nothing more. Always 15 min visits nothing more and would leave early once done. Drove two hours into jersey for a strip tease as his bank records showed me and he admitted.

Says it was stupid and dumb and he doesn’t know why he did it etc.

How would someone de escalate on their own from actual sex to just hand action?

Does this happen?

He did pay for videos and more cam girls etc. always private sessions which was painful as is but now I know this all.

With phone blockers and me trying to help he has been clean from p and everything for about 5 months so far. Regrets what he did says it wasn’t me that made him do it and “cant remember what they looked like at all or when it actually happened ...dates times etc.) hates it says it was stupid not worth it - it wasn’t a fantasy blah blah.

Would he actually de escalate himself?

He says he doesn’t know his triggers and doesn’t think anything triggered him it was just habit

Says he would go and then get out as soon as possible

Says he blocked their numbers (which he did) and didn’t contact the same one again. Deleted calls and pictures and apps all on his way home but says it was a habit and didn’t realize what he was exactly doing.
Just, help I’m stuck because I don’t understand.

 

We are working on ourselves and us as a whole. I have not made a decision to continue a serious relationship with him at the moment. But I am here and I am trying to understand and help.

 

Yes. He seems to be doing well. I believe he can do it. He regret so much of it and says he hates himself for it he feels disgusting etc. I see it take a toll on him when we aren’t talking about it he gets upset with himself.

Yes ex fiancé

I am helping the best I can. I am still angry and have so much hate for that lifestyle and the betrayal and cheating and the types of cheating. This has been happening since 2015 - started with cam girls and a lot of porn.

Escalated in 2016 to searching for escorts
2017 seeing escorts
2018 he reverted to massages and strip teases with hand release.

Now nothing since discover and now full disclosure or so I hope.

I’m helping him indenting a trigger. I’m doing what I can. Love will make you do crazy things.

 

Maybe I should explain better. He found a private erotic masseuse who was specifically not fs no bj just hand jobs and the massage. Not an AMP.

He want seeing strippers he was seeing escorts for the strip tease and hand jobs...not in strip clubs.

It looks like maybe $100 withdrawals maybe $150 twice a month.