Maybe this helps...? (for the single dudes out there)

I used to be married. That is, until the fall of 2017. At the time, I was obese, tired, and nearly obsessed with porn in my loveless marriage.

The marriage had been deteriorating year after year. I reached a point where merely seeing her gave me an uneasy feeling. But she was no stranger. We were in our tenth year of marriage.

In 2017, three painful events occurred, and I made the decision to leave. I don't really want or need to go into those details right now. I was back in my hometown, a million boxes stacked all of the floor, living with my mom.

I got an apartment, and thought it would help me with women. The first thing I figured out was that they didn't want me. The rejections were hard and fast. Each one of them contained a sting of its own.

I went NoFap for the first time on Jan. 1, 2018, and that year, things got better and better. Even though I was mostly in the friend zone, I was breaking through in my life progress. NoFap was the underlying power source.

In Sept. 2018, I moved away to pursue a career in music. This was not a big risk for me. I'd always been playing, tons of experience, musical skills all day long, and a desire to get to the top. I'm still working on that goal, and I'm seeing progress.

Loneliness has always been a chronic problem for me because I developed a mental illness as a child, and as I developed, was socially behind other kids. When they were out hanging around, I was more interested in listening to the radio, playing with toys on my own, or otherwise avoidant of people or antisocial.

I felt an extreme loneliness after my divorce, but when I was completing streaks and a reboot, I had some wisdom. The fact was that whether I was with people or alone, I could CHOOSE how to feel about that.

I decided to start going against my very nature. Some nights I would meet a woman, but she'd reject me. Then, going home, I faced another brutal night alone. How long can this go on? How long can I go on?

I either had to live or die. Suicide was for chumps, and God would not be having it, I was certain. There were nights when I cried so hard, I took the knife out of the sheath, and pressed it against my throat. I had to fish or cut bait. Either man up and kill yourself, and hope God has mercy, or don't and play it out.

If I played out my life, there was a chance things could improve with other people. I could sense that if I continued to wear my heart on my sleeve, I was libel to rip it on rusty staples on every telephone pole in town. Why give others the power over my emotions? What kind of crap was that?

The answer was simple. If I felt bad, I had to change it. Over time, it got easier. If i felt bad, I could stop thinking about my troubles. I would still solve what i could, this was not a ticket to idleness.

Props help me a lot, the major one being music, movies or videos. If I want to get a woman, I need to listen to some comedy, and prime my brain. If I'm depressed, I like to crank up some thrash metal, like the band Defiance from the early 1990s, and bang it out. A cold shower, as shocking as it feels, makes me feel like a million dollars when it's over. It makes me feel like the world is one big ball of love. The point is that I keep trying different modalities until I find what works.

I can't change people nor society. They may never have a realization about how awesome I am, or my music, and I could be hated at the end of my life. That is THEIR loss, not mine. What I do is put the awesome out there, and let people drink of it freely. I will clean litter off of the streets, I will make the cashiers laugh, I will assist the cart guy in the supermarket parking lot, and I will help at an open stage a fellow musician tune their guitar.

Conclusion: Sadness, depression, anger, negativity, and weakness have no place, for anybody, anywhere. For example, if I act out of these feelings, they will make things worse, possibly to a tragic degree. If I get angry at my neighbor, kicking him in the face will either cause him to strike back, pull a gun or press charges.

Negative feelings are like credit cards. They provide a temporary and immediate payout, but have far greater consequences. The wise consider the words of Jesus Christ and turn the other cheek on the world that has done them wrong, because tommorrow it will do it again. Don't be a victim.

 

You'll make it. One day at a time....

 

I get a hot moment....

 

surtennis, I have a couple of thoughts on the matter.


I suggest printing this out or even hand-copying it onto paper,

because this post will change your life, if you follow it.


Before you read this, keep one thing in mind:

the opinions of outsiders are usually bunk, for unknown reasons.

The way I read this, you are stuck in a funk. No meaningful direction or career, no woman,

living at home, often lonely or bored, slightly frail, and lacking confidence.

The answer is going to be tough, but I have to give it to you straight.

Obviously fapping doesn't improve your chances with women,

in fact it makes the problem worse. The reason is because the brain starts

to look for the easy PMO reward rather than face the tough challenges in life.

First of all, if you have a chance to go to college, GO. Try to get started in the next available semester,

and don't be an English major. Get a degree that will help you in your career,

the sciences seem to be more applicable that way, but others are good too.

Spend the next 3-7 years going full out with your life.

What I mean is to build a career for yourself, climb the hard mountains,

write a book, take a rock band on the road, start a "real" business,

strike out on your own, or in some other way, face up to the challenge.

That's the real strength of the NoFap program.

After a guy gets some time under his belt, maybe towards the end of a

full reboot, he starts to get a new focus.

That focus determine what his goals are, and the build up of testosterone

in his system give him the motivation and energy to go after it.

Start a full hard/monk mode reboot ASAP.

Don't chase women during the reboot, forget them, they are a liability.



Women don't want you, you live at home with no career.



Chasing them is guaranteed to be futile, frustrating and fruitless.

Believe it or not, this is a good thing to have a period of productivity and

self-re-invention AWAY from women, you will understand why in the future.



You need the time of isolation away from women and buddies

and people, and the purpose is to figure out your life's mission, and

make a plan.


When you get about 60 days NoFap, then start working hard on your life's

mission, in a ruthless way. Work day and night, non-stop, research,

practice, network, ask questions, GET OBSESSED!



Start small, work your way up. Give your plan time.



What about women?



When you get to the summit of your goal,

you're going to have 4 hot chicks calling you on the hour.

I don't understand it, but that's the way it works.

Women look for dudes who are in a mad pursuit after

their goals, and they want to see progress.



When you were a kid, things were different.

Women didn't care about that because they didn't have to yet,

mommy and/or daddy took care of them. Now women want a man

who will pay for their life, starting after they turn 18.

When you get in your 20s-30s and beyond, women want a guy

who is a winner.


Become a winner, and I promise you,

you won't lack for love.


And after that, you will get to the point where it's not a big deal anymore.

Cause a chick is not really a life upgrade, you'll see.


Women in their 20s and beyond, you'll realize, only care about a man's

money, and their covert ways to get it.

They don't care about the man himself, and they do little, if anything, to

bring value into a relationship, other than a warm body.

They don't care anything beyond the lira that a guy gives them.

Remember that.

It has been that way since the start of humanity, and will not change.




Lastly, my friend, your life's mission has to be done anyway.

It's like taking out the trash. It's crucial.

You may meet a woman en route to your goal or after, or some other time.

Or never, but meeting a chick is IRRELEVANT to taking out the trash.