new and looking for help.

Hi all, ive just come to terms with the fact i have a porn addiction. Ive been using since the age of around 13 and im 31 now and finding myself having alot of the classic symptoms my sex drive is next to nil im perceiving random women as objects which disgusts me. i dont even masturbate to it really anymore i just watch and somehow that makes it feel so much worse (though that might more be due to circumstance)

my wife found out about my addiction and that i had been lying to her around 3 weeks ago and i told myself ok no more. No problem right? well i found myself watching twice since and she caught me again and im just so ashamed and know i need help.
im step father to 2 disabled kids and im currently working 11 hour days 5 days per week so im finding myself quite stressed regularly im becoming depressed and just not sure what to do now i googled around and they all seem to say just stop masturbating get yourself someone to keep you responsible etc but my circumstances somehow feel different to alot of people. i already only watch for an hour or 2 every week or so but i still feel like it has a total hold on me and no idea what to do about it. im currently just trying to abstain again but feel like there must be more i can do?

Thanks in advanced. Sorry i didnt lay this out very well just kinda blurted out my thoughts and feeling.

 

Never done drugs in my life maybe thats where im going wrong haha
i certainly feel depressed right now but i dont usually let things get to me so much but the wife is pissed off with me due to my relapse before.
I am feeling alot better today mentally anyway i dont usually have problems with being down im usually eternally positive past few weeks have been hard but im on the up again now
Ive already blocked my phone/computer from having access and got myself 2 APs who i can talk to.
Were having marriage counselling already and honestly i dont feel like i personally need a counsellor/psychologist but to be fair i also didnt think i had a problem with porn for a long time so maybe you are right. Something for me to think about either way thanks for the help guys.