34 days

Its the second time that I am trying nofap. Never felt Ill actually make it to day 34. Really hoping this cures my ED. But yes... nofap is totally worth it.

The positives:
1) 100 ideas : I have many ideas and I am more creative. I am going to start a blog and I also took up dancing. I now also actively approach girls and I am trying to flirt. Had I been wanking off to porn, I would have never been doing all this.

2) Very good morning erections : My morning erections are amazing. I have pied so its nice to see my dick is behaving itseld atleast in the morning after all these years of my abuse.

3) More energy and a better person - I am more energetic, happier and have no guilt. I used to be petrified if a girl took my phone, worrying she may find porn on it. That no longer scares me.

4) Trying to deal with rejection - All these years of being a beta led to me being so scared of asking out women that I started watching porn. It landed me with a limp dick. Now I am actively trying to seek rejection. I go out and ask for favors. Most of the time, people say no. It pinched the first couple of times. ALOT. The third time it hurt a little. The 4th time it didnt really hurt that much. I am hoping that it continues to make me stronger. The point is to desensitise myself to rejection; so that if I ask a girl out and she says no, ill just respect her decision rather than taking it personally. I believe if it happens, it will be very empowering.

The negatives:

PIED : Its just been like a month so I dont know if my dick will work or not if i am with a girl. It may take some more months but Im hoping it will be the worth the wait.

The loneliness kills me : I dont have a girlfriend so I am quite lonely. I am charming but because of my job, I have a fuckall social life. I do not drink so I wont know what to do in a bar. But perhaps I should go to a bar just to socialize. I dont really know yet.

Im not horny but im restless - I am not particularly horny. However, I do feel quite restless. Oddly I have no interest in watching porn. I dont know if thats the flatline. However, I long female companionship and touching. Sometimes feel an escort will help. But then my new found sanity tells me that thats another short term fix. It wont really help me. I probably need to get out and meet women.

Overall, after being imprisoned in this porn world for years, I feel better, more in control of my own life and determined to take steps to make my own life more meaningful. I am grateful to this community for its support. Please pray for me. I am getting stronger. But I want to go from strong to elemental.

Thankyou,
Hanu

 

Thankyou for your kind words. I really sppeciate it.
I am still figure out how to meet women. The real reason i wanna go to a bar is because I feel casual conversation is very normal there. Im in india where you cant go to a mall, tell the girl she is cute, ask for her number and then go on a date. Most girls tend to be shy and awkward with strangers.
A bar is a place where I think i can practice flirting. I dont know how to flirt. And even though ive tried to study flirting, Id rather not try stuff like this at work. Especially if i make a fool out myself. Indian girls are conservative so the one needs to strike a balance of good conversation and secual innuendos. At a bar, most people are high and flirting is bery normal. Amazingly I have no plans to drink there.

As far as places are concerned, i have already joined a dance class as I wanted to learn dancing. There are some pretty women. But they have a boyfriend or are engaged *facepalm*

Anyway an escort is out..as you mentioned most of them may be carrying a disease; not to mention may of them might be doing thia job against their will.

I hope time will figure is out. Thankyou!

 

Mahmojo8

Thanks for your words. I am active with many ideas in my head and ive started martial arts training aling with dancing. Its especially important considering an emty mind is the wankers worshop.