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Jordan Peterson advice that helped you

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Julius Caesar, Jul 21, 2019.

  1. Hi!

    I found J. Peterson lectures on YouTube very helpful.

    What advice he is giving you find most helpful?

    I decided what my life goals are (specific goals) and I orient my actions towards that goals.

    Seems simple, but didn't have specific goals in my life, thus my life was going in a bad direction.

    BTW I created a AP group for people following J. Peterson: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-group-for-jordan-peterson-followers.242103/
     
    lvcas and Wordinhaler like this.
  2. properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

    Ha, I guess no feedback is also some sort of feedback! :p

    Personally, I liked at Peterson at the beginning, because I was confused and was looking for meaning and direction; his speech is direct and uses keywords that attract attention, but these keywords are also vague. He didn't give me a solution to my problems, he gave me only symptom management; I reckon that's because he's applying his profession techniques (clinical psychiatry) to his philosophy. I became even more depressed, because my life did not change following his advice, even though I felt that someone speaks my language.

    Once I stopped listening to Peterson and I picked up a few other, less known authors, plus getting myself a good therapist, I was able to improve my life quite a bit and today I do not agree with Peterson's advice at all. On the contrary, I believe it's rather damaging, but it's only my opinion.

    My goal in the past few years and the goal I carry over in the future is: to live a good life. And this has taken me on an amazing journey of discovery and self-reflection that I will never give up.
     
  3. I personally like his book. I like that he speaks of the aim of being better than yesterday's self.
     
    lvcas and Anew2019 like this.
  4. Do you have any desires? Goals can derive from those
     
  5. Mithras

    Mithras Fapstronaut

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    I read his book "12 rules for life", watched many videos that helped me a lot. But I keep struggling to find life goals, I have difficulties to project myself as I can't put a finger on what I really like... I can't answer the question

    "Assume that every week money would magically get added to your bank account. This money is enough to take care of your expenses to lead a reasonable life. What would you like to do for the rest of your life even if you were not paid for it?"

    I really need goals to keep my motivation high enough, I'm a blind navigator so far...any tips?
     
    Steppingintotheunkown likes this.
  6. That bank scenario is actually possible on a yearly basis provided your savings account has a high enough balance. What do you like in life? My desire is to seek truth. It has been since childhood.
     
  7. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    I find his methodology and his work on mythology very interesting. When it comes to other stuff, he gets bogged down with criticizing the left rather than talking about meaningful goals to pursue. Occasionally he does, but this is definitely not his focus. He sets up -quite spectacularly - the groundwork for something and then just doesn’t deliver.
     
  8. backtolife42

    backtolife42 Fapstronaut

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    @properWood could you explain a little where you think JP is wrong, which other authers i could listen to, to maybe understand your viewpoint better?
    I have watched quite a bit of his stuff and even though i dont like everything he says, a lot of his ideas do resonate with me (take responsibility, work on yourself, the way he explains how morality and different ideas emerged in human culture etc). But i would be interested in hearing another oppinion.
     
  9. properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

    Yeah, sure. First I disagree with the opinion that to solve one's depression, one needs to find meaning and take responsibility. I disagree with the "fake it 'til you make it" type of thinking, including the lobster standing tall idea. I did try to read his rules a bit more metaphorical ("let the kids play" and "go pet a cat"), but my opinion is that if one is in depression these suggestions are secondary, almost irrelevant; the way I perceived his message was similar to "you have a broken leg, pull yourself together and keep walking". I believe that you will take responsibility and you will walk upright once you cure your depression, not the other way around.

    My opinion is that many of us are at least moderately depressed, we feel in constant pain, a type of pain that we cannot pinpoint because it is emotional and we've lost touch with our inner experience (nothing spiritual here). As men, society has taught us that it's not acceptable to be vulnerable and to be genuine; we're now, as society, paying the price for those teachings, through depressed and men with "nice guy syndrome" (nice guy syndrome is depression). I looked for many months for a guide to living a good life and, for a time, Peterson did provide some distancing from the pain of my life, I admit, but it was like taking an aspirin when you have a full blown migraine - it just temporarily masks the symptoms, but does not address the cause of the pain.

    In addition, it seemed to me, after I read some of the books I mention below, that I allowed Peterson to do the thinking for me, I outsourced my thinking to Peterson, because I allowed him to teach me what rules I should live by, instead of me finding these out.

    I found out how to come out from my severe depression, in addition to therapy, by learning new things about the human condition from these books:
    - Johan Hari - Lost Connections
    - Bruce Perry - The boy that was raised as dog
    - Jonice Webb - Running on empty
    - Bessel van der Kolk - The body keeps the score (this is the one that I'm reading now)

    Since my general goal in life is to live a good life, I also looked a lot into philosophy and discovered a few schools from which I can borrow ideas and implement them in my life:
    - Epicureanism -> pleasure is the absence of pain (sometimes some pain in the short run gives pleasure in the long run)
    - Daoism -> always look to nature for answers to your questions (water doesn't try to go uphill, trees don't try to retire in old age, so why do we always look to go against what life puts in front of us?)
    - Buddhism -> although classified as a religion, it's a philosophy, and I believe it's a rather strong one, similar to Epicureanism, in the sense that it tries to teach you how to live well, how to rid yourself of unnatural desires.

    I also tried to learn about other people, how they became who they are, what adversity they faced. After I learnt about Rich Roll's life, I felt I have no excuse not to take care of myself, physically and mentally. It's such an inspiring story and no victimisation will ever bring me even 10% to where he is.

    Finally, I listen very often to the lectures of Wes Cecil (various philosophical lectures, presented in a super funny way) or Michael Sandel (Justice course from Harvard), you can find them on YouTube. These have been eye openers for me, I know a few of them by heart, since I listened to them so many many times.

    Sorry for the long post, but I just wanted to sort of show that there's much more than Peterson that we can learn from today, but somehow we focus on what's readily available to us and has the most videos on youtube. Peterson maybe is well intended, but I think his focus is not on the cause, but on the symptom (heck, he's a clinical psychiatrist, he thinks in terms of diagnostics!)
     
    silvermonk, kropo82 and backtolife42 like this.
  10. backtolife42

    backtolife42 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the post, ill try to look into some of the things you mentioned.
     
  11. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    There are lots of quotes I like, for example:
    And although Peterson's views on women are very different to mine there's something intriguing about this quote:
    That's a huge contrast to porn, which tries to persuade us that women always mean "yes", or at least tries to persuade us that the real world where women often say "no" is inferior to the fantasy world where they always say "yes". I guess the thing I do not like about Peterson is that he implicitly casts "we" and "us" to mean "men" and I think that's disingenuous.
     

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