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Will Nofap Kill My Desire To visit expensive escorts and pornstars in general ?

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by hartej512, Jul 20, 2019.

  1. Jul 20, 2019 #1
    hartej512

    hartej512 New Fapstronaut

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    This is gonna be a long one so im currently on day 17 of Nofap and I've been a pmo addict for a really long period of time for the past 10 years and have been trying to succeed on Nofap for the past 2 years constantly relapsing and reaching a maximum of 22 days at best.

    The first time i started it was due to my realization that i had death grip syndrome and some form of ED. Due to this shock and horror that i felt i started searching on the web and came to know about the NoFap. I started doing the hardmode immediately. It was around day 21 i felt i was almost recovered (I was really uneducated about nofap timelines at that time) and decided to test it out with an escort and i was somewhat successful and thought that maybe i might have gotten better but the truth was that the chaser effect got to me and i fell back into that viscious cycle of pmo again and after that i used to go to escorts or maybe erotic massage parlour but mostly after watching porn or like when some urge would take over me and looking back now i realize that i was far from recovery.

    In a sense porn sold me this idea that if i get rich enough FAST that i can fuck all these pornstars that i have been watching for so long and do this amazing kind of sex in different positions that i have been watching for so many years.

    So how did i get back on Nofap was due to my recent experience with an escort (Not the expensive one). So basically i met this escort online and we decide to meet up and i paid her but she started treating me like shit and all that time that i spent with her i abhored it and once i came back home i was ready to break down and felt in real what i had become and what worst things are on the way if i continue on this path.

    All my life i have avoided relationships because i felt there was too much hassle involved and because of porn ive always been thinking about sex as the main thing that i desire and so i found a solution in the form of escorts that too through a friend who turned to be my enemy.

    So after this recent encounter something just clicked in me. I no longer wanted to be part of this lifestyle and i felt i needed to get real with life but at the same time i knew i needed to change somethings and needed some external motivation to get off this track so to do that i made some small changes in life and started listening to subliminal audio and Man they really work , but they work also due to the fact that i believe in them and i believe the affirmations in them and this time i know i can completely abondon this path of destruction.

    My problem, However is this that im on day 17, im good looking, im smart, i workout, i have never been in a relationship, i can talk to girls, ladies , women in general always especially when doing business but romantically dont have no clue where to start, never did online dating so no experience there either, and so many years of porn usage and escort experience has created a desire in me to have sex with those beautiful pornstars which are crazy expensive and i have no chance in hell in the near future to have this fantasy fulfilled. Also this desire is killing me from the inside as i have no idea what im going to do with my life, how im making tremendous amounts of money in a short period of time to achieve this purpose which is making me more miserable and also is stopping me from enjoying life and so my question is when im able to achieve a certain amount of time of abstinence from porn and masturabtion and natural sex as well say 180+ days or 365+ days cause i damn sure will this time, will it help me to overcome this desire and will it help me to find my direction in life or will this desire always keep biting me in the head because personally from what i have seen even 17 days of nofap start changing the way you percieve women.

    Please if anyone has any suggestions it would be a great help.
     
    hartej512, Jul 20, 2019
    hartej512, Jul 20, 2019
    #1
  2. Jul 20, 2019 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    As you figured out already porn is not an isolated problem, it's embedded into a world of prostitution, casual sex and hookup culture, all linked to the same root cause.

    If you want to heal yourself, you need to drop out of that entirely and look into traditional marriage. By this I don't mean the legal act (certificate), but the general concept rooted in all human cultures.
     
    Deleted Account, Jul 20, 2019
    Deleted Account, Jul 20, 2019
    #2
  3. Jul 23, 2019 #3
    keepitreal-88

    keepitreal-88 Fapstronaut

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    Its scaring me how similar your story is to mine, over 10 years of PMO, a couple years trying NoFap, few relationships, avoiding relationships, easy to talk to women but not to flirt, not knowing what direction to take my life. I feel like were at a similar stage.

    A man needs a purpose, if its not easy or obvious what that is then for now make your purpose to discover your purpose and then become a better person while your finding it. Just what ever you do don't make your purpose about another person or they will own you. I'm focusing on building the habit of making my life at least slightly better each day and getting into the habit of starting my day with that intention and following through and then slightly raising the bar and getting further out of my comfort zone.

    Forget about escorts and pornstars, any situation where you have to pay for sex or intimacy won't feel right, it will never feel as good as when you've created and built a connection with a woman yourself and you genuinely like each other. Learn about women and how attraction works and develop yourself into the kind of man that naturally attracts them by being who he is, any man is capable of this.
     
    keepitreal-88, Jul 23, 2019
    keepitreal-88, Jul 23, 2019
    #3
  4. Jul 24, 2019 #4
    beat432

    beat432 Fapstronaut

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    That is a really strongh desire and motivatión with no purpose, i can relate to your story because ive been on NoFap since 2016, and in the past i experienced PIED. My mind tricked me into looking for scorts to "test" me... And a few days ago i realized that scorts is the same as porn because you only focus on your own pleasure, that is not bad in a perspective, but if you really want to change your outlook about life you need to think more about giving, and not focus on your own desires and pleasure. We have so much cravings that are impossible to fullfill because even if you get a pornstar , as soon as you finish you would like a other experience like that, maybe with another pornstar... a lot of time and money and life wasted... Just imagine if you use your potential for something else, actually everyone with money could get a pornstar, is just like a "famous scort"... most of what we see in porn is fiction, Porn is never going to be better than real life, being with a real girl is so much different and fullfiling, the true intimacy is so much different, actually sex is just a complement when you are with the right girl. I recomend you the book Breaking the cycle by George Collins, i developed a Lot of techniques to deal with this compulsive behaviors. Change your goals: instead of desire to fuck a pornstar, desire to talk with a real girl, flirt with her and have true intimacy.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2019
    beat432, Jul 24, 2019
    beat432, Jul 24, 2019
    #4

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