23(M) I feel like i have nowhere else to turn, i need help (never had a relationship)

I'm just gonna say what's on my mind... I'm almost 24 and i never had a girlfriend, never had sex, never kissed anyone... For some reason since highschool, i've always had girls as friends... i can be pals whith guys but it's never a deep thing, i never had many friends (2, 3 tops). I met my current bestfriend (F24) in 2013, been inlove with her since 2014! told her about my feelings in 2017, (yes i know). She is still my best friend, our friendship is very honest, very deep, very important for both ( but maybe more to me tbh). This last couple of years were a real challenge for me, trying to stop looking at her like i do... but it's impossible i just love her. It's toxic i'm aware, but i can't go on without her in my life now. (I rarely see her anyway... even tho we live 1:30h hour away... with school for her and work for me, it's hard to get a free day for both).

My family cut ties with me when i was 18, i never saw them since, and that's it... i have a couple of more friends that i never see .. we only talk online bc we live so far appart now.



College years flew by pass me... i tryed going out to the partys but i never felt like i belonged, i never had fun, believe me i forced myself a few times.



I'm a shy guy i guess (ISFJ personality), people tell me im good looking, but i never loved myself or my body, i was always that skinny weird kid.. and the only thing that's changed is the fact im not a kid anymore.



My life is a complete routine now... i only sleep and work, i only have one day off per week and i'm usualy so tired i never have the energy to do anything. I work with 2 other guys but none of us wants to be friends with each other -.-

Sometimes when a cute girl passes by me... i wonder how can i meet a girl like that, but yeah i never go to discos or bars or anything, so that one is on me i guess.

23 years are already gone.... I'm very very very scared of getting old and never meeting anyone... i'm tired of being alone.

How can i be happy strangers of the internet? I'l take any advice... ty