1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

17 years - it has to stop NOW!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by perusan, Dec 4, 2013.

  1. perusan

    perusan Fapstronaut

    614
    31
    28
    Hello, my name is Mark and I have been masturbating to porn on the internet since the internet began. Of course I was masturbating to porn before that, but hey, I was young, sometimes single and, well, it was fun then.

    However, masturbating to porn on the internet has turned out not to be so fun. 17 years of chatting on Chatro, ICQ and other chat platforms, reading stories on asstr and literotica, viewing pictures on bulletin boards, xhamster, tumblr, viewing videos on xhamster, rudetube, motherless, viewing webcams on cams, streamate, myfreecams....all during work time, time I was meant to spend with my gf, time I was meant to be sleeping resulting in lying, guilt, embarrassment, stress, penile dysfunction to the point where we couldn't have children has essentially robbed over a third of my life of ....normality.

    I am not normal. I am an addict. I have a problem I feel I can't share with anyone. I want to stop. I need to stop. I am here to stop masturbating and regain my life.

    I gave up smoking and that was encouraging, but when, a few years ago, I tried to do the same with internet porn I found it much more difficult because I was doing it on my own and with no-one's knowledge. I think this is one of the biggest difficulties. It is okay for people to know you are a smoker, or even a drug addict. But a porn addict is an embarrassment and it is something we tend to deal with in private, in isolation. I don't mind if people want to talk with me about it here, or not talk. But the idea of being "observed" doing this rehabilitation is what encourages me.

    The thing I am really looking forward to is a counter that tells me how many days I have gone without. I want to get to 90 days. I want to be able to have sex with my wife without guilt or fear that I can't perform.

    I have known that I am addict for many years and I am ashamed that I have never conquered this. I know I can do it - I just need to start. And I won't miss it. I won't miss pretending to be someone I am not in chatrooms, chatting to people I don't like, looking at porn that disgusts me, the feeling of disgust after I have orgasmed.

    Good luck to you all.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2013
  2. Blue

    Blue Fapstronaut

    405
    17
    18
    Welcome to the forum, Mark! You're not alone anymore. All of us relate to your struggles with porn and the attendant feelings of shame and embarassment. Now, you're on the road to recovery! To increase your chances of success, I'd advise that you educate yourself about porn addiction (www.yourbrainonporn.com and this will help with shame reduction), find an accountability partner, and keep a journal of your experience. Good luck and feel free to contact me anytime.
     
  3. Special10

    Special10 Fapstronaut

    65
    0
    6
    Hi Blue,

    I'm a newbie too and have similar history to Perusan. Thanks for all your support and encouragement. Where should I keep a journal? Is there somewhere on this site? thanks and best wishes Guy
     

Share This Page