I am depressed out of my mind (Please Help)

I also tried the giving up approach. I was sick and tired of beating myself up for failing and was genuinely in a better place when I was recreationally PMOing daily rather than trying to do nofap and failing.

But I couldn't go back to enjoying it. I knew what damage it was doing and I could really tell the difference after that massive dopamine hit. I felt awful. Such sadness and desperation. I couldn't do it again.

I was relapsing roughly every 7-15 days (when the withdrawals are worst) because the negative emotions I was experiencing overpowered my rational reasons for stopping PMO. So the first thing I did was remove triggers. I put my phone in the attic, I go to bed early (and only have books in my room) and I stopped using the PC for most of the day.

I also realised that these negative withdrawal emotions (intense anxiety, depression and massive urges) were not actually my real emotions. they weren't me talking. they were just withdrawals. I knew they would pass and it was proof nofap was working.
read this article for clarification on what I mean:
https://www.mywealthshop.com/withdrawal-symptoms-of-nofap-things-to-expect/

judging by your story you also have other issues going on in your life. All I can say is try and do some exercise. the gym is great as you don't have to rely on anyone else, but if you don't like that, join a club and play sports or something. that is a great way to improve your mood and build friends/use your time wisely.

Also, adopt the lifestyle (not the streak mindset). instead of thinking, 'okay if I can get to 90 days I magically will be fixed'. think 'okay I have quit now, I just have to go through withdrawals once and when I have done that it will feel easy in comparison and I will be clean for life'.

I wish you luck man, I was there a few weeks ago and am so happy I soldiered on.

 

Withdrawals usually started within a few days for me, but got worst between week 1-3.
Anxiety was my main problem. I was scared of time. I would constantly watch the clock and just wait until I could be taken to the tranquillity of unconsciousness (sleep). Whenever I thought about using technology I also experienced lots of fear, mainly fear of failure- it represented the devil that made me relapse and hate myself.
Also, urges got exceptionally bad on a few days. I remember one night in my bed and my brain was giving me everything it had to relapse. my heart rate was racing, these thoughts coming into my head were constant, I was practically frothing at the mouth. this happened about 3 times in three weeks and every single time it really took a lot of mental work to realise what it was and talk myself into a calmer mindset.

But since day 21 I have actually experienced much less of the withdrawals. maybe I will get some more in the future but I welcome them because im sick and tired of PMO. It really is worth pushing through man. realise they will go.

good luck

 

I abstained 2 years ago, never relapsed. I always thought that pornography will be the last thing I could give up. Initially I didn't had any clear plan, I just decided to quit for a few days to see what will happen and how I will feel. I didn't had any intention to quit masturbation/edging at all. After few days I decided to go for another few days. I started to see some changes and was curious can I make it even more and where it will lead me. I never tried to reach any milestones, like 90 days or so, I just kept going further and further. After few months I realized that pornography was my way to reduce stress, also reward myself. I quit masturbation too, as masturbating without porn was not interesting and without visual stimulation I didn't had any intention to masturbate or have orgasm anymore. And with time my habits and desire to watch porn started to fade away. It was a slow, gradual process.

Before abstaining from porn I never felt anxious. When I abstained I woke up one night scared wanting to put the lights on. I don't remember when it happened exactly, but it was during the first few days of abstinence.