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anti-marriage article . what are ur thoughts?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by headon.collision, Apr 7, 2015.

would you get married in this time an age?

  1. Yes definitly when I meet the right one.

    15 vote(s)
    51.7%
  2. Nope, not in a 1000 years.

    6 vote(s)
    20.7%
  3. would only marry a non-westernized women in the future.

    3 vote(s)
    10.3%
  4. I`m happily married.

    5 vote(s)
    17.2%
  1. headon.collision

    headon.collision Fapstronaut

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    so I stummbled on an article today of a guy who have been burnt pretty bad, the article comes off a bit sexist but it carries some wisdom to it, I myself starting to see marriage as a lose/lose game for me. so I`m not married myself and not planning to at least anytime soon. the reason I`m agreeing to some of the article is cuz I see the exact scenario with my parents, they both work, but for some reason my dad is the one who always ends up being responsible for the house finances and my mom always ends up missing it up even though she works. but shes really bad with money. Of course my views of marriage are in huge part related to my old folks, and seeing my father miserable most of the time I've some how linked marriage to these painful emotions.
    This is isn't the 1st article I come across with the common theme of not marrying in this modern age and time but this one kinda sums some of the points in more detailed manner.
    Here is the article.
    https://m.facebook.com/notes/curtis...rced-male-to-the-modern-women/565462760169667
    What are ur thoughts, what do u agree with and would u get married? If not why?
     
  2. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

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    Any chance of a copy-and-paste of the text? Some of us have facebook blocked.
     
    foggy likes this.
  3. headon.collision

    headon.collision Fapstronaut

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    sure thing, I`ll update the post :)
     
  4. headon.collision

    headon.collision Fapstronaut

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    appearntly I cannot edit the the main post so here it is.


    is the modern Woman really worth all this?



    Statistics show that married men are happier and healthier than unmarried men.

    Half Sigma carefully broke it down and proved this was even a causation effect, not just a correlation.

    Happy people aren't more likely to marry, the chart is carefully proving that married people are more likely to be happy. The cause is one-way. So in a sense, yes, marriage is worth it. Odds are you'll be better off, in some inscrutable way, no matter who you marry. Not only is marriage emotionally rewarding, it's evolutionarily rewarding, and financially rewarding. It pools incomes, costs, and risks, in a very helpful relationship for taking on the big challenges. It's also the primary means for a person, at least, to have children, and thus continue to exist in the larger sense of the word. The future belongs to those who married, not to those who didn't.


    But even with all these obvious truths lined up, I can't help but wonder: Are modern women worth the effort?



    In the past, this would have been a no-brainer. Children are a real hassle to raise for men, who aren't instinctively equipped to put up with the monotony and annoyance factors, being a single father raising a child is even more demanding, and a wife is a wonderful companion as well as a helpmate. But are modern women raising children, companionable, or helpmates? I'm sure many wonderful women are just that to their husbands -- but many aren't. Many are dead set against being anything like that. So the real question is, why would you marry one of Them?



    Contrary to popular belief, men don't need sex to be happy. In fact, a recent study showed that women cared more about sex than men. Men just wanted intimacy with a woman they love -- cuddling, sleeping together, kisses and hugs. Since sex can often be a herculean effort to please a girl, which must go entirely the way the girl pleases or she isn't interested, I can see why men are tuning out. Nowadays women want to orgasm multiple times in a single session, or the boy is a loser who should be dumped immediately for someone better. The problem is when sex becomes Gymnastics, when it becomes all about technique, it loses all value as an instrument of love. It's obvious the girl would prefer not you, but just some marvelously adept boy or sex toy or girl who can push all her buttons, and isn't happy because of who you are, but solely because of what you are doing.



    If the women are working, surely they'll at least be of financial use? No, because women are also the primary Spenders in a family. Women can work as much as they want -- they never even break even. In the end the man is forced to fork over his own paycheck to indulge her yet further. To say nothing of the ridiculous system where men must buy women presents and jewelry to prove we care, but women needn't buy anything ever, there's simply the black hole of women's makeup, fashion, and entertainment costs. Whereas men are quite happy to sit back and watch TV when they have free time, women want to 'go somewhere,' 'do something,' and 'meet someone.' Always. Which means you have to go to some club or bar or skydiving or skiing or take a vacation on a beach or whatever. All to please the woman. Women can't be happy at home, they can't be happy alone together, they simply must indulge in some expensive habit like dancing or the gym or eating out as well. Women will also be the ones demanding constant home remodeling, constant extra 'kitsch' to decorate the home, constant home 'improvements,' ten different pets, new paint schemes to 'freshen things up,' and any other expense they can think up.



    No, the money will always be in the red. Marriage reduces a man's personal spending power to basically nothing. The wife spends all your money on herself and her priorities. You never see your money again. But God help you if you're laid off and the wife is the provider. Suddenly she resents everything you purchase, even the rice for dinner, as some grievous enslavement. What's yours is hers, and what's hers is hers. Any marriage that tries 'what's yours is mine' will swiftly file for divorce. In your distant memory, you'll remember a time when you didn't have to work as hard, when ends magically met, and you were happy. You could do whatever you wanted and there were no headaches worrying about down payments. Then a wife enters the picture, and your carefree days are gone forever. Now unemployment isn't just a setback in lifes journey, it's a personal affront. Now you aren't inconvenienced, you're put up to a firing squad: Get a job quick or we're through! You're guilty, you're a sinner, you're a parasite. It would be one thing if a woman's work actually helped a husband, Truth is they will resent you so much for putting them in the real world and relying on them to help that they will end up breaking up with you if you put them in that spot. so the 'reward' of a working wife is completely illusory. You still have to work, and you still have to make more money than them, and you still have to spend all your money on them, whether they work or not. You are no better off than the 1950's husband, only the wife isn't there for you or your children either. You gain nothing from a working woman. You only lose.



    Any woman you fall in love with, odds are she'll hurt you. Either before marriage, while you're dating, or after marriage. Odds are you'll be dumped, divorced, separated, or cheated on. If you take that pain on the chin and try again, your odds aren't improved for next time, the odds are the next girl you fall in love with will do the same. The odds are the same for the third girl too. Unless you marry someone and you've been together for something like 30 years, you're never out of the woods. The odds are always against you. You only know you've 'won' this game of russian heart roulette when you're near your deathbed, marveling over your good fortune that this time it worked out. Women are the initiators of most breakups and most divorces, it's statistically around 2/3 of the time. No matter how fervently you feel about a woman, there is never a guarantee your love will be requited. No matter how well you think the relationship is going, odds are she thinks it's going terribly. And no matter what a woman says, she only means it 'at the time.' Women have no concept of honoring their word, but act purely on emotion. If anything changes from that 'at the time' promise/vow of endearment, They feel no guilt and no shame for breaking up with a man. They feel no compassion for breaking their hearts, raiding their bank accounts, or taking their children away forever. It's always a man's fault for the breakup anyway, so all of this is just righteous justice, according to a woman's logic.


    Women for the most part are given a free pass from a marriage if they want it -- no penalty for adultery, no penalty for abortion, no penalty for premarital sex, no penalty for divorce, no penalty for lying, no penalty for having illegitimate children, etc just hand over your money to them for support or go to jail and dont question it. Not only is there no legal penalty, no one even dares criticize their 'lifestyle choices'. If you put a man in that situation, allowed to act on all his desires freely without legal or cultural restraint, they would go feral. Nothing would be beyond them. Why are we surprised that women have become despicable given the exact same situation?

    Are men really willing to go through this much heartbreak and sorrow to arrive at the Elysian fields of one single woman who will honor her word and maintain her love for a Man for longer than a few years? How many women do you have to try? How many times must you repeat this gruesome house of horrors for that one loyal woman?

    What men are expected to endure in a modern relationship and accept as the status quo, Nature cannot accept or endure. So it's really meaningless whether we bow to the New World Order or not. Even if we do nothing and accept their ridiculously one-sided relationships, God won't. God is bringing down his judgment on this unnatural state of affairs.

    Real happiness comes from knowing you were needed, that you've helped people, that you accomplished something hard, that you earned someone's respect. Real happiness for men only becomes possible once all the false happiness removed from in front of them. Only when the false trails are denied them, do they start working hard on the true ones. It's like Pilgrim's Progress. How many snares does the devil set for a pilgrim on his path to heaven? How many stars are there under the night sky? Only by staying on the straight and narrow path, only by not being distracted by all the false emotions and wishes to either side, can a man reach heaven.
    The answer for men, unless your loved one really is a wonderful woman with virtues and graces fitting for a woman of another age, is to just Not do it. Leave them to their wrecking.. Achieve happiness the way a man does -- by doing something worthy of admiration in its own right. There is no shortage of worthy pursuits, or worthy abilities, for men outside of marriage. If they want to play this game -- Let them!
     
    buzzlightyear likes this.
  5. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    Wow what a load of pure bullshit. Half the things this guy is saying isn't even true. In my experience and the experiences of people around me the opposite is true. Women are working just as much as men but are expected to also do housework and raise the children. There are studies to back this up. I also saw statistics on how men and women who are unemployed spend their time. Men spend a lot of time on "entertainment" while women spend a lot of time "care taking". Articles like this just spread the idea that women are vile creatures to be hated. Divorce favours the person who makes less money. My friend is currently divorced and has to pay spousal support to her ex husband. Why? Because she was the bread winner. Laws don't care whether or not you have a vagina. She also had to share custody of her child with him even though he is a drug addict suffering from depression. Not to mention the paperwork costs of trying to get him to help with daycare costs. She had to pay $1000 to get his wages garnished. He'd rather spend the $$ on something else. Anyway I could go on and on! My friend didn't let this situation get her down and she has since remarried to a good guy. She is still the breadwinner though....even though women only like rich men apparently. In fact I know a few female breadwinners.

    Lets face it some men hate women and some women hate men. If you choose to be that person you will lead a very unhappy life.
     
    Behnam, cas11x and Kurapika like this.
  6. Limeaid is right. I have never read so much crying, complaining and whining in one post, so wow...that is an achievement. I guess the guy who wrote the article is a dumb idiot who messed up his marriage through ignorance and stupidity and blames everything on his ex-wife. If he was anything remotely like this in the marriage, no wonder she divorced his sorry ass.
    Or he married the wrong person in the first place, but surprise surprise...when you do something, you'll have responsibility over that decision. It's too convenient to put blame on everyone but yourself. Ex-wife, women, governement, God, everyone is against him. He is the victim and everyone else is a hungry predator looking for him and his money, right? What a bunch of horsepoop.
     
    cas11x, Kurapika and Limeaid like this.
  7. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

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    What a stinky screed. This writer is viewing the world through the narrow lens of his own colon.

    Don't get me wrong, there are good reasons to choose not to marry.
    There are good reasons to question the continuing role of the institution of marriage in society.

    This guy's sour grapes are not an argument though. He's just hurting and he can't allow himself to see that other people can enjoy something he didn't.
     
  8. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

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    Not to mention, the "article" is extremely heterocentric in its assumptions.
    If you hate women so much, but you crave intimacy, a reliable life partner, physical closeness, and mere sex is a secondary concern, why not marry a man?
     
    Thanatos likes this.
  9. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    no marriage until death! no chains - never!

    FREEDOM! ;)
     
  10. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

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    And before the obvious retort, I believe that most people (80-90%) are at least a little bit bi, under the right circumstances.
     
  11. Immor

    Immor Fapstronaut

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    The author has a point. Many relationships have those problems. Women tend to test their limits at some point and men tend to let them get away with murder.
    Just know what you want and you won't have to cry afterwards like him.
     
    buzzlightyear likes this.
  12. NamelessJohn

    NamelessJohn Fapstronaut

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    I agree. But not for the same reasons. The idea of marriage is stupid to begin with. Why do you need a contract just to show the world that you love someone? Shouldn't your actions and words be enough?
    The state has no right to intrude on relationships like they do. Marriage is a religious thing too. If you aren't religious, there's no real reason to get married unless you just want to get money from your partner.
    I would get married in certain situations, but otherwise, nope.
    I should add that I'm not against commitment, just marriage. I'm in a committed relationship and I have none of the problems mentioned in my post or in his article because I have no legal binding to my partner. She knows that I can just leave her if that's what i want and I know she can do the same. In fact, I'd say that we're more committed than a married couple because we can easily leave, but we don't.
     
  13. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I mostly agree with this.
    With no-fault divorce being a real thing now, a married couple is hardly more legally bound than they would be without the paperwork. My husband knows that I could leave him if I had sufficient reason to, and vice versa. That's one of the motivations we have for striving to please each other. I'm 100% behind each individual in a committed relationship maintaining their ability to survive independently, if for no other reason than their partner may die prematurely.
    On the other hand, toxic co-dependency can be created without legal marriage too. I've seen that happen to a few cohabitating couples, who later broke up, but were stuck together in hell for too long because of one dumb reason or another. There are chains other than legal documents. And don't even get me started on the challenges of co-parenting outside of a committed partnership (not from personal experience, from seeing others suffer through it). Yikes.

    The advantages I see to legal marriage in the USA are sharing medical insurance, taxes are sometimes simpler, and you get automatic power of medical attorney if one party is in a coma. Other than that, it's a lot of unnecessary government paperwork. (And wouldn't it be nice if access to and cost of medical care weren't still determined by the size of one's employer?)
     
    Limeaid and NamelessJohn like this.
  14. NamelessJohn

    NamelessJohn Fapstronaut

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    True. I felt stuck with my ex because I felt like I owed her for dealing with all my issues. Turns out she felt stuck too but was just scared to hurt me. So you have me there.
    I still think I don't need a worthless paper to show how much I care about someone. If I love someone, my actions should reflect that and they do. (Not to say I don't make mistakes from time to time but for the most part, I prove my feelings thru actions. Words don't mean much but they also help a lot.
    Lastly, in my GF's case, if she gets married, she'll be bound to the that person for the rest of her life. Her family would disown her for getting a divorce and it takes 15+ years in some cases to get a divorce. So she has a lot of societal pressure to stay with her partner if she chooses to get married. So that's why she's anti-marriage too. (She's in India so things are a lot different than in the USA.)
    I'm anti-marriage because of all the reasons I've said plus I've seen to many people that ended up getting MURDERED for trying to leave their marriage.
     
  15. Thanatos

    Thanatos Fapstronaut

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    The guy who wrote this article is silly. His points aren't very throughly illustrated.
    There are too many stereotypes in this article for me to take it seriously.
    He's obviously coming from his own personal experience, which sucks for him, but it's not going to be true for most people.
     
    NamelessJohn likes this.
  16. NamelessJohn

    NamelessJohn Fapstronaut

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    I agree. I feel bad for him because he's obviously really hurt and that's why he comes across so bitter in the article. He does start to make some points and then ruins them by stereotyping and just making claims that only apply in some situations.
     
  17. Dr.NoFap

    Dr.NoFap Fapstronaut

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    I beg to differ. The judicial system is unfair to males in the United States. I always see and hear women getting away from many things, including more lenient sentences.

    But, yes, I agree: Marriage is shit.
     
    headon.collision likes this.
  18. I'm surprised that so much of you are against marriage, while on the other hand, you all claim that you want fulfilling, lasting, strong relationships. That is supposed to be marriage. Total surrender to someone else, who you love and trust, and the other loves and trusts you as well. Non-religious people sees it only as a burden and a hindrance, and I can say that I understand. With both person being ever selfish, there is really no point saying that something will last forever, when both of them want the freedom to just simply walk away if they are bored. I use the other, the other uses me, and when there is nothing left, we go our separate ways. If this is your idea of a relationships, then DON'T marry. Because you just give marriage a bad name. It's funny to say that marriage is bad, while there are two people in it. But it all comes down to the same old "It's not my fault." excuse.

    Okay so what should marriage look like? First of all, if you believe in God than marriage is a holy bond between a man and a woman, just like the holy connection between God and His people. It's not like "okay, I'll stick with you until I find someone better" but "I will be with you and will love you till death do us part". Love is not just an emotion here, but an attitude, that places the needs of the other in front of its own. But please understand, both people think like this. So instead of everyone taking care for themselves, they take care for each other.
    Of course there will be troubles, but if someone is serious about marriage, that means that there is no plan B. You trust the other 110%. There is no room for cheating and no room for divorce. You commit yourself to someone for the rest of your life.
    But marriage is a hard thing. Fulfilling, but hard. Most people don't want to pay the price. That is okay. But then, don't dare to complain, because it is your choice. Because it's not about finding the right person. It's about being the right person. Because if you are the right person, your ideal partner will find you.

    Nowadays this thought is unimaginable for a lot of people, because society pushes us for constant novelty. You have to have the latest, the newest, the freshest of everything. If something doesn't work, don't try to fix it, throw it away, because the newer version is already out. No wonder the sanctity of marriage and life long commitment is constantly under attack. People think it is outdated. I say they are jealous as hell. They are envious of other people's happiness.
    Honestly, I can't wait to get married. I hope that there are some others, who still think oldschool like me.
     
    M L and Monster Carrot like this.
  19. headon.collision

    headon.collision Fapstronaut

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    yup, I didn`t want to reply to that since I don`t live in the U.S but I have many friends and family members who are U.S citizens that confirm this, especially when I asked them about the stuff in the book Men on Strike by Dr Helen Smith and one of told me that one of his buddies is paying child support for a Kid that is not his ( not his biological father) since his wife cheated and even after he provided the evidence to the court, they said that the biological father will have to come front and offer to pay otherwise his obligated by law to keep paying, even if his not the father of the child. . . .
     
  20. tomtom

    tomtom Fapstronaut

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    Different countries have quite different laws and habits and attitudes regarding marriage and various levels of co-habitation that saying that marriage is universally bad doesn't make that much sense to me.

    I live in a country where we have no-fault divorce, many people live together and have children without being married and it is not considered anything unusual or shameful.

    Still we decided to get married after severals years of living under the same roof, after our first child was born. It didn't change very much in our practical life, the biggest benefit was having clearer rules on what happens if we should ever decide to separate, regarding the kids and our possessions.

    There is nothing religious about our marriage, for us it was a way to register our relationship legally as we have no other ways to do that. Gays still have a "marriage lite" but even that is being transformed to the same marriage that the majority has.
     

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