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anti-marriage article . what are ur thoughts?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by headon.collision, Apr 7, 2015.

would you get married in this time an age?

  1. Yes definitly when I meet the right one.

    15 vote(s)
    51.7%
  2. Nope, not in a 1000 years.

    6 vote(s)
    20.7%
  3. would only marry a non-westernized women in the future.

    3 vote(s)
    10.3%
  4. I`m happily married.

    5 vote(s)
    17.2%
  1. headon.collision

    headon.collision Fapstronaut

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    yeah bro I agree with what u say, funny thing is I am obligated to get married by religion and would love an old school marriage ( which is near impossible in this day and age)
    this is where one of my core issues with marriage arises, problem is in a relationship at least for as I give my 110% and always ends up being the "MORE LOYAL" and so expecting my partner to be as loyal as I am, I get always disappointed and hurt. so one of my main reasons for not getting married is cuz of cheating, the other party is never guaranteed 100% to stay loyal to u.
     
  2. Kurapika

    Kurapika Guest

    Although I am not interested in marriage or having sex ( In fact they are synonyms for me as I am religious)at least in the near future, but this article is extremely sexist and full of one-sided non realistic information.
     
    Limeaid and NamelessJohn like this.
  3. headon.collision

    headon.collision Fapstronaut

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    perhaps u misunderstood his reply.
     
  4. Dr.NoFap

    Dr.NoFap Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, Earthdragon. All of my life I hear about bad things about marriage from Men. Women are the only ones glorifying marriages. It's just not for me.
     
  5. NamelessJohn

    NamelessJohn Fapstronaut

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    If I did then I apologize for coming across as aggressive or angry. It seemed to me like he was saying "Only religious people can truly love someone and stay committed to them" so I responded accordingly.
     
  6. NamelessJohn

    NamelessJohn Fapstronaut

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    Really a lot of women are against getting married too. Pro marriage women are just more vocal than anti-marriage women.
     
  7. headon.collision

    headon.collision Fapstronaut

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    I think what he meant is that alot of people nowadays view marriage and commitment as " friends with benefits" kind of scenario with all the individualism and independence that is going on in the world today, he mentioned the religion part to relate to those who marry with religious obligation.

    and trust me religion has nothing to do with it. heck as far as I know even in religion u cannot marry someone u don`t love or relate to in the 1st place. and there are some religious people " or claim to be" that cheat like crazy both men and women, and others who are very very loyal who are doing it cuz it`s the way they are not cuz of religion or something else.
    problem is some religion get alot of bad rep from ignorant people who practice it, such as in islam where some men and women are forced to get married under arranged family marriage etc, it`s total bull, customs that people made up by themselves over the years and are adding it to religion
     
  8. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

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    Contrary to your opinion, statistics show that in the USA, non-religious people are as likely as believers are to marry, and roughly as likely to divorce. Oddly, Evangelical Protestants, who as a group consider themselves to be more committed to God than most, have a higher divorce rate than the more "worldly" religious groups and agnostics. http://www.mediaite.com/online/puzzling-paradox-study-finds-higher-divorce-rate-among-conservative-protestants/

    Personally, I've watched several "heathen" couples stick together through thick and thin, because they're each other's support. I've seen divorced couples in church (awkward). And I've seen a youth pastor dumped like yesterday's trash by his passionately fundamentalist wife, according to her because he was depressed over the death of their premature baby, and wouldn't perform his bedroom duties anymore (risking another tragedy, since she was high-risk obese and birth control is for heathens). He lost all contact with his three kids, all his social support from their church, and she went on to marry another super-religious guy elsewhere. Sorry if I'm too cynical, but I don't buy that God's self-appointed spokespersons have a monopoly on LOVE.
     
  9. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

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    How are you obligated by religion to marry? I thought all religions had some sort of celibate path that was okay?
    Correct me if I'm wrong.
    Is it your belief that drives you to marriage (despite difficulties in finding a good mate) or your parents'?
     
  10. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    I agree with a lot of what's being said in this thread. However the article is pure crap. I personally take offence because I stood by my husband and helped him through all of his issues. I never betrayed him or spent all of his money etc etc. Some of the ideas in that article are sexist.

    As for the "man paying child support for a kid who is not his" the same thing would happen if the man had a child who wasn't the womans. Unfortunately however this rarely happens because men don't try and be fathers to kids born out of wedlock. If he brought a child into the marriage home, the woman would have to care for that child as if it was her own. The fact that this rarely happens doesn't make it any less true. Laws do not side with gender in terms of children.
     
  11. headon.collision

    headon.collision Fapstronaut

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    in islam there is no Celibacy cuz it goes under the principle that sexual activity is a human need that cannot be ignored.
    in islam u are obligated to get married " if you can"
    in the case where you can`t then it`s recommended that u fast and abstain from sexual relations unit you do, there is no celibacy in islam but you can practice it if you want but it doesn`t get you any higher status or good deeds. it doesn`t contradicts with other believes as long as you don`t claim ur doing it cuz islam order u to do so. parents pressure is a total different matter, religiously ur parents have no right to pressure u into doing something u don`t want, especially marriage, but alot of people are doing otherwise ( but it has nothing to do with islam principles).
    in short if you think marriage will do more harm than good for u, then it`s ok not to get married. . . but u are still not allowed to have sex out of marriage.
     
  12. headon.collision

    headon.collision Fapstronaut

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    I would say perhaps his lucky to have you, unfortunately we assume other people are like us, there are plenty of women and men out there who aren`t so perfect, and make their partner miserable, and yes as I mentioned in the 1st post, it comes as a bit sexist, as others pointed out, his to blame as well, perhaps he let the emotions get the best of him and ended up with a raw deal. there are alot of signs he should have watched for before marrying.
    problem is people always assume their partner would change to fit their criteria and create false hope out of their love to them, had to learn this the hard way, either u accept the deal as is or walk away before it turns into a train wreck.
    total different scenarios, meeting a women who have children from another man and agreeing to be with her is something, falling in love, getting married with women with no children, planning to have kids and then after that she gets pregenant by another guy and " leaving me clueless" fooling me into raising him as if he was my own!! is totally different thing!
    the 1st one, there is no cheating and betrayal involved.
    the 2nd is betrayal, cheating, scamming, deception etc. he expected to raise a child that carries his genes, the right thing to do is to be honest with him and tell him that she cheated and the child is not his, then he should be left to decide whether he wants to raise it with her or not, and some man do.
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2015
  13. Kurapika

    Kurapika Guest

    @headon.collision
    Being a muslim like you, I highly recommend you read Imam Abu-Hamed Elghazaly precious text about marriage in his masterpiece "Ihyaa Oloom Eldeen".He classified muslims into 3 sections .The first section have to marry, the second shouldn't marry and the third should consider it deeply before taking the decision.
    For parents, my parents also want me to get engaged soon and marry as soon as I finish college but I am strictly refusing.We were just talking about that some hours ago :D.
     
  14. headon.collision

    headon.collision Fapstronaut

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    hehe :) yes know how it`s like, my old folks kept nagging but then gave up completely, cuz when it get heated up I`ll be like geeeeesss u guys are talking like ur making a great example. thanks but no thanks lol,
     
    Kurapika likes this.
  15. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

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    Okay - The second scenario is super wrong and immoral, but a man being on the hook to pay for the child of his wife's affair, that's just an artifact of the US child support system. Generally, if paternity is contested during a divorce and before child support begins, the man is not forced to pay. (That's where my job comes in, coincidentally.) Lawyers now advise divorcing men to request paternity tests immediately if there is the slightest chance of a kid not being theirs. (About 14% of the time, they're not the bio-dad.) If they decline and new information comes up after child support begins, the court is extremely reluctant to take that resource away from the child without a replacement present, because the alternative is usually poverty and extra government spending.

    Incidentally, a similar problem can happen to women too. If a man has a child from an affair during marriage, and the child's mother (the mistress) sues for support, and the man doesn't or can't pay, the wife of the man can be forced to pay for him, because in marriage, assets and liabilities are shared. Her paycheck can be garnished to nothing even if she has more kids of her own within the marriage, because the children's needs are considered in the order of their conception and appearance in court, and apparently she should have known better than to have a kid with a man who had preexisting obligations (and no job).
     
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  16. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    Thank you e5s for explaining it so eloquently what I was trying to say! Like I said laws are laws, they don't care what gender you are.
     
  17. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

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    Limeaid likes this.
  18. buzzlightyear

    buzzlightyear Fapstronaut

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    The article isn't political correct and thus not right, however the way we treat each gender still isn't equal which causes problems due to politics that are. In the end both genders are different with different survival skills and capabilities. This makes the subject very sensitive because a world based on equal laws will only work on equal or rather the same individuals. However men and women are different which causes problems. The female and male are treated the same but they are not the same, so one may have an advantage in certain field so does the other. Yet when you fail to see the world isn't the same, you'll get frustrated over things that are very logical but became unlogical because the laws and a system learned you to think unlogical.

    Add porno which makes man a whining "pussy" and woman are the ones that arise above the screen addicted junkies. It is very logical.

    feel free to disagree, I make mistakes like every human. I think this makes sense
     
  19. NamelessJohn

    NamelessJohn Fapstronaut

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    Wow...holy crap. I seemed pretty mad in those posts. I wasn't actually upset (although I did think he was being ignorant) so yeah. Sorry that I went off. I didn't realize that I was being so rude until now. I apologize.
     
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  20. Being with a nice girl is the best thing that will happen in most peoples lives!
     
    NamelessJohn likes this.

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