1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Porn = Cheating?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Resilience89, Jul 27, 2019.

Is watching porn equivalent to cheating when you are in a relationship ?

  1. Yes

    64 vote(s)
    61.0%
  2. No

    41 vote(s)
    39.0%
  1. hillmountain

    hillmountain Fapstronaut

    118
    307
    93
    I think it's best not to go by what the majority think.... Otherwise you'd find the majority of people claiming that porn is harmless, that masturbation is essential or you'll get cancer, that there's no such thing as porn addiction.... All of which we nofapstronauts know to be utter bull*#&=.
    Better not to give too much weight to what the majority says eh?
     
  2. hillmountain

    hillmountain Fapstronaut

    118
    307
    93
    Bro, why make a simple thing more complicated? Porn is utter evil , not only for women, but MAINLY FOR MEN....
    A man can become a slave to porn addiction, it can cause ED, it can cause severe depression, social anxiety, loss of libido, deadening of emotions... It can take away your motivation... It can take away the satisfaction you experience in romance....
    So if a woman says that men shouldn't PMO, then they're basically advising WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU.... Why get angry at that?
     
  3. hillmountain

    hillmountain Fapstronaut

    118
    307
    93
    Of course the majority of the PMO addicts in recovery are not intentional cheaters.... What I meant was that watching porn is tantamount to cheating both yourself, by preventing you from attaining your full potential, and cheating your SO of the best version of yourself and causing emotional pain to her...
     
    Lilla_My likes this.
  4. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    324
    866
    93
    I think you just answered your own question.

    FWIW, I view NoFap as my present strategy, not an absolute truth. We could be wrong and the majority could be right.
     
  5. Is watching porn equivalent to cheating when you are in a relationship ?

    Definitely yes. You are watching some unknown girl or thousands of girls who sold their souls and sharing with them your rare sexual energy instead of give that time to your goals or to your real partner who deserves that.

    You are a fucking loser. The Beta male.

    That´s true.
     
  6. hillmountain

    hillmountain Fapstronaut

    118
    307
    93
    So youre saying that"porn is harmless" might be true?
     
  7. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    324
    866
    93
    Yes. And it might be false.
    I am choosing to behave under the supposition that it is false. I have some evidence of that.
     
  8. hillmountain

    hillmountain Fapstronaut

    118
    307
    93
    We cannot have 100% proof of everything my friend.... And saying and believing that porn is harmful doesn't require 100% proof to be true...
    This kind of relativism can be harmful to your recovery ( " it may or may not be harmful" ) why not despise porn as utterly worthless instead of trying to give it a fair trial?
     
  9. JonShawn

    JonShawn Fapstronaut

    I think it totally depends on your significant other. If your wife (or husband) thinks it is cheating, nothing you can say or do will convince them otherwise, whether or not it actually is. Trust me, if your SO's happiness is any consideration, I would go with what they want. It will cause resentment from them and that will be the beginning of the end of open communication and trust. If they are cool with it then that is totally awesome, go on ahead!

    That being said, we are on an addiction recovery platform. Porn addiction will ruin a relationship whether or not he or she is cool with it.
     
    recon117 and The Lone Ranger like this.
  10. hillmountain

    hillmountain Fapstronaut

    118
    307
    93
    Something, to be affirmed as true, doesn't require 100% proof... It's enough that the evidence that points to its truth be greater than the evidence that points to its falsehood..
     
    The Lone Ranger likes this.
  11. hillmountain

    hillmountain Fapstronaut

    118
    307
    93
    You state correctly that even if an SO is okay with your porn addiction, it will definitely harm the relationship greatly.. then why that "totally awesome! Go on ahead!" part?

    1. You will be comparing her mentally to the women in porn, which may make her seem less beautiful to you, making you less satisfied with her...
    2. The effects of porn addiction on you (mentally, physically, sexually, socially, spiritually) are not nullified even if your SO is perfectly okay with your addiction...
     
  12. JonShawn

    JonShawn Fapstronaut

    I guess there was a hidden assumption that I did not address. I say that assuming OP knows the negative repercussions of watching pornography regularly. There are many who enjoy alcohol, in moderation, knowing full well what it does, and can do, to the body and the mind (and the possibility of addiction). So long as his/her SO is okay with it, and he/she knows the chances that they are taking, then I say "go on ahead" (but in moderation, otherwise OP will be back here for a much different reason).

    The "totally awesome!" part was probably a little much, I don't exactly think it is awesome. Just a matter of how I talk.

    Couldn't agree more, very well said. I am on the stance of it destroying relationships no matter the person.
     
  13. DeepParkWater

    DeepParkWater Fapstronaut

    245
    173
    43
    If it was that easy then everyone would quit P...... And obviously I'm here to quit PM so whats your point....... Im not defending PM at all? Im confused here because youre stating the obvious which is implied and understood.

    It seems like you think im trying to defend P use which im not.
     
  14. I used to think differently. I used to believe it was just “boys being boys”

    Then I got into a relationship (after a failed marriage to an abusive man who refused to work) I thought this new man was everything I’ve ever wanted. He was sweet, kind, caring, funny, ridiculously good looking, just perfect... except something was different. Every other man I’ve been with couldn’t take his hands off me, this man seemed almost asexual. I asked him if he watched porn (after googling possible reasons he wasn’t into me sexually) he denied it and said he hated porn. He would see me in tears over this. I’d ask him over and over why he wasn’t attracted to me. He’d tell me he was. I would be in tears telling him that he should leave and find a woman who he was attracted to. He’d hug me and tell me he loved me and found me beautiful.

    Then I found the porn. Perhaps he wasn’t having a physical affair that most would consider cheating but he was waiting until I fell asleep so he could sneak off to masturbate. He would wait until I left for work every morning (after denying my advances just hours before) and masturbate to porn. There was definitely another woman in our relationship no different than an affair partner. All covered up with lies to protect his beloved “other woman”


    Every relationship is different. In my relationship this is 100% cheating. He refused to have sex with me, preferring porn.

    A lot of men have a hard time understanding this because women and men feel so differently about sex. I’ve explained it like this to him... when a woman is open to having sex with you she is literally asking you to enter her body to become one. It is the most vulnerable thing she can do. When she is rejected because you’d rather look at porn she will take this very personally. you’ve just told her that she isn’t good enough. Not only is she not good enough, but something fake is better, your hand is better than sex with her.
     
  15. hillmountain

    hillmountain Fapstronaut

    118
    307
    93
    I feel you... I think separating sex and commitment is one of the bad ideas of modern society.... Many People don't realize that sex creates such strong emotional bonds that should be respected.... The bible says regarding sex that "the two become one"
     
    Resilience89 and JonShawn like this.
  16. That’s the problem with the over sexualized society we live in now. Hardcore porn is so new it’s going to take awhile for people to truly understand the harm caused by this.

    Imagine if the only way you could become aroused was if you were a “peeping Tom” meaning you hid outside peoples windows watching them undress or have sex. Society would think you’re a monster. How is porn any different? Oh because the actors want to be watched? Not always. So much of it is forced with sex trafficking. Because it’s not hurting anyone? It’s hurting you, your wife and the many women stuck in that industry, Oh because it’s in private? In secret? If it weren’t a problem why not do it in front of your wife?
     
  17. hillmountain

    hillmountain Fapstronaut

    118
    307
    93
    With the loss of Christian sexual values (such as one man for one woman, that marriage is a total, lifelong commitment, that one should not gaze sexually upon anyone other than his wife).. and the rise of the so called "sexual freedom", all this hell has broken loose...

    In the past, porn was taboo and forbidden.... Porn viewers were looked down upon (and somewhat rightly, one may add, considering the damage porn wreaks ) it's mainly thanks to this modern day sexual looseness, the separation of sex from loving, devoted commitment, and the likes of Hugh Hefner and his Ilk, that this wretched porn is now mainstream....
     
  18. fuzzywaz

    fuzzywaz Fapstronaut

    414
    778
    93
    Is porn cheating? In the context of someone with an addiction- yes.
     
    Resilience89 likes this.
  19. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

    1,339
    1,633
    143
    This is something i try to tell people but they just dont listen.

    Anyone who says that watching porn is ok MUST be ok sitting next to real people having sex. If, on top of that, they think masturbating to porn is ok, they must be ok masturbating near others in the room and them watching back.

    PMO is a very disturbing experience, its literally cuckoldy and prostitution or something.
     
  20. I never claimed male and female brains are the same because they are not. You are clearly just wanting to evade the question I keep asking you. If you as a man feel horny with your SO not being around and you go have sex with a prostitute to satisfy a physical need just like you would eat a slice of pizza when you're hungry, would you have a bad conscience afterwards? Would you feel guilty?
     

Share This Page