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Can't attract girls

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Jrmz94, Jul 28, 2019.

  1. Jrmz94

    Jrmz94 Fapstronaut

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    The title says it all. I get rejected on tinder Facebook every hot girl or semi hot girl are in a relationship or are side chicks. I'm too broke to go out and even try to meet women. I'm not even trying to get in a long term or serious relationship I'm just trying to get laid. I'm 25 years old virgin I work very hard and I'm starting to lose motivation. I'm still overweight but I'm trying to eat healthy and exercise. I'm at a point where I'm physically tired of not getting laid. I'm also an introvert which is affecting my social life. Need some advice from people that can relate. I'm losing motivation.
     
  2. jchip18

    jchip18 Fapstronaut

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    Think about it from the perspective of stoicism, all sex is the mechanical movement of body parts. I know modern-day society glorifies sex, but it doesn't make someone anymore or less of a person if you've slept with 0 or 100 girls. Don't get me wrong self-improvement is crucial and you should continue to do it, but it is for yourself and not superficial things.

    In terms of self-improvement, if you're overweight keep/start going to the gym. and you'll see results. I know it is harder to have a social life when you're introverted, but if you wanna meet someone you've simply gotta push your social boundaries, you can't have it both ways. I would suggest joining some clubs and participating in new activities to live a more enriching and empowering lifestyle. From your post, i get the impression that you would only want to sleep with a semi hot girl and as a guy, it takes a hell of alot of self-improvement for most to get to that point. So bear in mind that personal growth is a lifelong process and you can't expect to get to a certain point within a short period of time.
     
  3. Ferritin

    Ferritin Fapstronaut

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    Wow! Man you've inspired me like way way up level. Thanks. I have social anxiety disorder and I PMO a lot since I was 15. I'm always depressed. I have never been motivated to do anything real in life . I'm 24 now.my life's a mess. I'm trying to start afresh, pull myself together. What you just put up here will help me a lot for sometime. Thanks again.
     
    Kiz Whalifa likes this.
  4. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    I can relate. And I can tell you you can’t attract women with that attitude. You need to be confident in who you are whatever you are. Of course that doesn’t mean you should be a bad person. It means do the right thing and be confident in that. Don’t depend on the approval of others for anything. This is hard because it requires humility. But if you are humble and confident then you’ll attract all the women you could ever want.
     
  5. jchip18

    jchip18 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks glad I helped. Im sure you will smash your social anxiety and improve your mental health dramatically. Good luck!
     
    Ferritin and Kiz Whalifa like this.
  6. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I'm in the same position. I honestly don't know how to leave my house.
     
    Deleted Account, Jrmz94 and Ferritin like this.
  7. Ferritin

    Ferritin Fapstronaut

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    I pray I be able to do it.
     
  8. ifindoubt

    ifindoubt Fapstronaut

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    Try to go for girls that are on the same level or lower(if you really want to attract a girl)

    I would personally recommend not worrying about it all(or, try to get an escort)
     
  9. personally (to each his own, but from my experience), try being comfortable with yourself first. if youre unhappy with your weight or body figure, start going to the gym or eating healthier. if youre introverted and hate being like that, force yourself to talk to people. i'm not saying you'll be extremely extroverted on the first couple/dozen tries, but youll be learning from each social experience. hands down. being social is a muscle, you have to work at it for it to develop!

    maybe also get a good couple of friends first, and feel like you can hold yourself down. if that makes sense. throughout this experience, don't even focus on how girls look at you or how other people look at you. focus on how you look at you. i know its extremely cliched dime a dozen "could have googled that" advice, but it's honestly so real and so effective. you'll see yourself at that point in time and realize how much you've progressed as a person

    once you have a better and more fulfilling understanding of yourself, confidence will soon follow. you should be doing all of this for yourself dude. to get yourself out of the hole youre in. this goes way way deeper than girls. sure, they might see you as more attractive/personable or they might not, but it doesn't matter if youre comfortable with yourself. that's the ultimate goal, imo

    i used to be in the same hole as you dude. and im working at it every day so i know exactly where youre coming from. but nothing is gonna happen if youre idle. especially if youre jerking and draining your mental energies constantly. nofap is a wonderful j o u r n e y, so get moving!

    --also get off tinder and facebook, not only does it contain triggering material but it'll lower your self esteem, which is exactly what can cripple your motivation (at the current moment). people on nofap should be totally off social media, but thats just my controversial opinion
     
    OnTheEdge and StayStrong27 like this.
  10. If you have premarital sex you will go to hell.Dont do it
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. Stop listening to these forward minded people.They are dragging you to hell.Dont have sex outside or before marriage.
     
  12. What I noticed is that most guys who are good with women feel pretty comfortable in their own skin.

    But it's pretty hard to feel good when your life sucks.
    Breaking out of this vicious circle is also a big challenge for me.

    I think that nofap helps, but it takes time.

    What I wouldn't do is try it with women I don't find attractive.
    How can you live a respectable and honest life if you are willing to accept things you don't really want?
    I can't do that.
     
    koolpal likes this.
  13. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    I second this answer 100%. I couldn't say it better. Fuck The Lord.
     
    Tripolar Ape likes this.
  14. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    You are the one who misunderstand. Check some Tinder experiments with fake profiles. A guy with extremely good looks gets lots of responses from interested girls, no matter how creepy or loser he acts.

    You need to take the red pill. Looks, money and status bro, that's the name of the game.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 4, 2019
    koolpal likes this.
  15. alexg1709

    alexg1709 Fapstronaut

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    Get in the gym or join a local crossfit gym. This will help your confidence by building muscle and shredding down fat.

    Get on some low carb high protein diets.. If anything looking and feeling fit might just help your life improve in the work aspect as well.

    No matter what never give up!
     
  16. Would you really want a woman who is with you because there is no better option?
     
  17. Just remember how many people have lived on this planet over the last millions of years. Think about your bloodline and how far back it has gone. All those ancestors you have. Why do you think that somehow, you, out of all those people, can't attract a woman? Unfortunately the internet, TV and movies have pretty much extinguished our self-esteem. The negativity we feel for ourselves has been fuelled with nitrous oxide from the media and now we absolutely hate ourselves. We want to actually kill ourselves. What did we ever do wrong? Why is it that we think we don't deserve anything? We punish ourselves for a crime we didn't commit. It is ridiculous.
     
  18. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    You're broke, you don't go out to interact with others, you're not interested in anything other than your desperate need to get laid, you're unmotivated, overweight, tired, an introvert, and you try to meet women online where it takes very little effort to click buttons and type words and thus it takes very little effort to ignore you...................

    Yeah I don't see the problem of why you aren't attracting women here at all.

    Do you find yourself an attractive person? I'm not talking about physical attributes. I don't think you do. So why would anybody else?

    You probably believe that once you get that one thing that you really want (getting laid), you'll become someone different. It doesn't work like that.

    You have to become somebody more if you want to have more in life. You have to change to create change in your life. For things to get better you have to get better.

    Take responsibility for why you aren't seeing changes in your life rather than blaming external things and people for why life isn't going your way.
     
    Angus McGyver, koolpal and Jrmz94 like this.
  19. rob13_

    rob13_ Fapstronaut

    Is this sarcasm?
     
  20. What are we discussing here my friend?

    I wrote that I wouldn't be with a woman who doesn't want me as much as I want her.
    And you write that many people are together because of lack of options.

    The point is, I don't give a shit what other people do.
    I don't even give a shit what most people do because most people are unattractive.

    Low self-confidence leads to an unsatisfactory life, and a crappy life leads to low self-confidence.
    It is important to break out of this circle.

    And you can only break out of it by changing your mindset.
     

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