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I want a change... Please help and give advice

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Tim Bartowski, Apr 1, 2015.

  1. Tim Bartowski

    Tim Bartowski New Fapstronaut

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    Hello

    My name is Tim Bartowski. I am currently 14 years old. I am straight but ever since I was 9 or 10 I have have been sexually excited about being forced to wear women's clothing or being their "sissy slave". I hate this aspect about myself and I hate how people say I can never get rid of this fetish. I want to be able to be normal and have normal sex when I am older without all this fantasy sh*t in my head. Please help. From here on out I will not PMO to that shit for the rest of my life. I will start by masturbating one final time to normal porn. Then I will not masturbate for 6 months and then after that point I will start to masturbate (for a little) to normal hetrosexual porn so I can reboot my brain. From then on I be normal but without masturbation and my weird fetish's. Is there any more advice you have to make this plan better like making the periods of time longer.

    Much appreciated

    Tim
     
  2. Samilo

    Samilo Fapstronaut

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    Hello Tim, I won't judge you for this kind of fetish. I've heard alot worse tbh. It doesn't sound serious to me just a tad kinky lol. I can empathize wanting to rid yourself of something that doesn't resonate with you. I've managed to reach a streak of 38 day's, and what I've noticed that helps is if you to take your attention away for NoFap with other hobbies/interests. If you cannot... Make sure you install K9 webfilter if your stuck at home. It's free to download on Google. Also, try to have at least one goal to aim for other than not fapping, it will help direct all the energy you are building up. As time goes on, you will find you won't even be thinking about this fetish! And when those urges reappear you are able to catch them before they take control of you. Once you get past the first week it will become easier, I promise you! Good luck Tim. :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2015
  3. Tim Bartowski

    Tim Bartowski New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man your the best!
     
  4. Alan Collins

    Alan Collins Fapstronaut

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    your fetish must be quite distressing for you. You are not abnormal for having a fetish. I am a little concerned by your plan to start MOing again after six months. With MO your brain releases dopamine at an alrming rate that slowly desensitizes you. In time you will need to fantasize on harder and harder stuff to be aroused. Your fetish will return and a lot more. This is coming from someone with a 10 year problen with MO. Even without P I seem to now fantasize on all number of fetishes that I would not have normally been into, and are completely unrealistic to ask a lover to participate in. Knowing what I know now. I would quite MO for good. If I could go back and be 14 again I would quit MO completely.
     
  5. Tim Bartowski

    Tim Bartowski New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for this I think your right!
     
  6. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Hi Tim. Before I give you any pointers, could you clarify the timeline of your fetish and addiction. You reckon the fetish started when you were about 9. How old were you when you began masturbating and how old were you when you were when you started watching pornography. Please state age rather than a grade whatever at school.

    I agree with Alan Collins when he said:- "I am a little concerned by your plan to start masturbating again after six months." If you do decide to do this, that is your choice. However, in the coming months, you might anticipate that time as something to 'look forward to'. In the end, you would equate masturbating as a reward. This would undermine what you are working hard to achieve. I will add, that it shows tremendous insight and maturity to tackle this while you are still going through puberty.
     
    nomeaningoflife and Alan Collins like this.
  7. Tim Bartowski

    Tim Bartowski New Fapstronaut

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    Hey i was about 11 when I started masturbating. I have not really masturbated to porn like showing sex it was more of pictures or videos of men dominated by women. Okay thanks man I think you guys are right
     
  8. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Thanks Tim. I regret that my next comment is not what you want to hear. :(

    It seems that when a fetish develops after porn use has started, it will likely fade and disappear when you stop masturbating to pornography (pictures or videos or even erotic stories). However, if the fetish - yours is being sexually excited about being forced to wear women's clothing or being their "sissy slave" - predates exposure to porn, it will probably always be there. o_O

    But, look, I am not an expert. That is based on my personal experience and anecdotal evidence. But that doesn't necessarily mean you cannot have "normal" sex Tim.
     
  9. definitelySerious

    definitelySerious Fapstronaut

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    Hey @Tim Bartowski - well done for having the courage to post on noFap - that's a really good step and your maturity will stand you in good stead. The connection between P, M and O is really interesting in that it affects different people in different ways. For example, some will go down the path of fetishes, some will go for hardcore P, others stay on P-subs - but the common thing is the dopamine release your brain is seeking. If for some reason someones brain is attracted to a particular fetish, this could be due to many reasons such as things they were exposed to as a child, a particular fantasy they might have regularly - but the fetish can be very distressing to that person if they don't like it, or it's uncontrollable. However, don't feel alone, human sexuality is a strange beast and can be impacted by many things - the trick is to trust your intuition, and if you hate the fetish and hate that aspect of yourself, trust this. You will come through this and move beyond it, or figure out how to deal with it. I've had this particular repetitive thought that pops into my brain most mornings (especially when I'm stressed) which is completely distressing and not true for about 15 years I reckon. I used to be really unhappy and worried with it, but I understand now that it doesn't actually have power over me. So have faith in yourself dude! If you can, I'd suggest completely avoiding PMO for as long as you can, and avoid P forever. M and O doesn't add a whole lot to life I've discovered......
     
  10. definitelySerious

    definitelySerious Fapstronaut

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