I'm done, forever.

The plan here is to never fap again. I quit.
Sorry if I missed any rules, due to the relapse honestly cannot even focus or read properly. Hard to sort through posts of a new site like this. Should've waited before posting, but I'm just so upset with myself.

Thank you for reading, I will try to keep this short
I planned to quit from the beginning of August. Unfortunately, strong urges took over me just like the whole rest of this summer.

Highschooler who has a lot of school workload to deal with and passionate in spending time for other things.

Fapping has been a waste of time, addiction, full of regret, digust, pain, depression, and negativity in general. I lose the courage, I am unfocused, I am not confident in myself afterwards.

Prior to this summer:
For my first year of highschool, I abstained for the whole school year on my own, I had quite challenging classes and I'd argue one of the toughest sports (wrestling). I could not allow myself to waste time or be tired at all. Furthermore, I was motivated and could never afford to lose momentum. First time I ever purposely tried to abstain. Believe or not, it was like flipping a switch. I said no to fapping, and never fapped. Started in middle school, and it ended for a year right then and there with that decision.

I felt like I owned the world, let alone every setting/building I walked into. I could walk up to anyone, including the hottest girls, and strike up conversation. I had girls message me throughout the year. I felt confident and sure.

This summer.
Now with summer and an upcoming year with an easier selection of classes and no sport (due to serious injury), I have all the time in the world. Naturally, I fell into the habit again.

Quickly recognizing how much I despise fapping, I put in great efforts to stop myself all summer. But to no avail. No reddit posts or motivational videos helped. No notes, no alarms, no reminders has prevented me. Iron strong urge even made me step out of the shower to grab the phone to view the images.

I hate it. Within every 4 or 5 days, it happens again.

So I arrive here to you guys, for help and support. Best if someone is starting around the same time as I am. I want to flip the switch in my mind again and live the way I did last year.

Let me know if there should be anything (posts and whatnot) I should check out! Thank you, you guys are awesome.