nearly 1 week!

So, I am 23.

I've probably been fapping/watching porn on and off for 8 years maybe?

I know it's natural and all that and I had my times where I would just have a routine that I do it every night before bed/to relieve stress or relax myself when something makes me angry, or i went days/ week not doing it. I've even gone a few times of several times a day.

The longest I've ever gone not doing it was years ago for over a month. I can't remember how I felt back then, but I don't want to make a habit of wanking.

So I am going to try to do the Nofap challenge and see how it affects me. So far, I am either 5 or 6 days in. I should have kept track better..

I don't want to get any negative side effects when I do get older.. I've never had a girlfriend but to me I don't think I am in the position of my life for one, but when I do I don't want to have any problems. I guess me trying to nofap will be for my future girlfriend/wife. I also have a long distance friend who I fancy but never met, so I am hoping not fapping can clear my mind and help me with her.

So far how I feel is:

Lonely
Angry
Sad/depressed
Confident
lazy
bored
And I think too much (I usually always do anyway)

Some of these may be attributed to the weather. Its been so windy and terrible. I always hate this time of year. It's safe to say my moods change the same way the weather does, haha.

Anyway, I hope I can go as long as I can and see if I can find any self progress along the way. I really had an urge to do it earlier, but luckily I held on and now I feel pretty good. From my past experiences I know I can fight the urge, but sometimes I just give in..

I will try and read a few books and keep busy and occupied.

I am curious how some of you all feel after no fapping? I would like to know what to expect. Is it mainly emotional/mental strength or are there physical things you can notice?

 

Ok!

Today I start my day 7.

I noticed last night I felt relaxed and confident. Back to the way I usually always felt. I felt good being me.

Even today I am feeling good, which is great because lately I have been feeling like crap. Just tired, grumpy, and stressed with a lot on my mind.

I really am hoping I can keep this up and as long as I feel the way I do then I know I will do great!

The only problem is I am starting to fight the urge.. and briefly browsed some P lastnight but just shut it off like no problem and prayed the rosary instead. I might try and make that my nightly habit instead of doing PMO. I used to always pray before bed but haven't done that in a long time.

Usually the mornings/afternoon I feel crappy and shape up later in the day so feeling this good this early makes me feel great!

 

Haha I know, Spring here usually is filled with dry grass, dirty snow piles, and mud. Really calm and quiet/lonely as well. But if the weather is good (which it should) I can help out my family with some renovation work.

I have some of my textbooks to read, and I also bought a Warren Buffet book that I haven't had a chance to read yet. Hoping to get to them soon! I've been dying to read 1984 for the longest time as well.

Thanks for the encouragement!

 

Thanks man!

I went for a long run today. Haven't ran in a long time but it went well I think. I guess I do feel confident and have extra energy.

It was a busy day and I did a lot, now in he evening I really am fighting the urge on and off. Good thing it's bed time now so I can just go sleep and forget about it.

Finished my day 7, whoop! Now for another week, making my way towards 1 month and onwards.

 

Tonight marks my 10 days! Finally starting the double digits,woot!

I've been feeling great the last few days. Strong and confident and alert. Calm/relaxed but also irritable/shirt tempered. It's a strange combination, yes.

Sadly, today I was completely beat and exhausted. Again, the weather is changing.. lol. But my dogs been sleeping all day and my dad hasn't been in the best spirit either.

Hopefully it's a day like that and tomorrow will be back to normal

Loving the way I feel lately. Really feeling like myself.

 

Ok, 13 days down!

I am starting to feel like more normal self. Got my self esteem back, and feeling better than I have been lately.

Pretty much I have a clear mind, I am relaxed. Maybe a bit more reserved compared to how I used to be.

For some odd reason I can't help but stare at myself in the mirror and look at my eyes. I always admired my eyes but I feel my eyes seem to show differently. It's weird. But in a good way.

I also deleted my browser history and deleted my bookmarks of my "favorites."

I've only thought of P, but it wasn't any bad cravings or urges.

Hoping things keep getting better and better.

 

15 days down.

I am doing pretty good. Still have some ups and downs but it's probably normal mood swings.

I have thought a few times "hmm, it would be nice fap" but i know it will just be hard and I'd lose all my progress. I can't believe it's been 2 weeks already and I'd hate to have to restart.

Overall my emotions seem better and in tact. I can concentrate and focus on things. If something bothers me I don't focus all my attention on it anymore and I can brush it off.

So overall it's going good. Thanks.

 

Ok, so I had the best streak of 41 days. I was gone 1 week on a vacation where I relapsed. It was maybe being in the beach all the time, or disrupting my routine that lead me there. Since then, I've had a few small streaks, and a new record of 7 days.

I am hoping to get back on track, and today starts my 5 days down. I am going to try and keep a journal going. Anyone is free to read it, but this is mainly for me.

Last run through I didn't keep much of a journal, and am now trying to restart my streak. It would be cool having something to read about my past feelings as motivation.

 

Ok. So

Day 2.

Most of the day it was fairly well. I didn't sleep much lastnight since I had a phone call wake me up early in the morning. Going to bed now though. I feel like I have the motivation and the mindset to actually push and fight the urges. In all honesty, I have an urge now but it's probably due to the habit of laying in bed. But anyway, even if I'd have a trigger now I feel like I can block it out. Since my big relapse I went twice with a 7 day streak, and maybe 3 times with a 3 day streak.

As far as my relapses go for the 1 week they have been because of me having an urge. I remember the day after I wouldn't have the urge anymore so I know if I'd fight the urge it would go away. That will be part of my new motivation. Just fight the urge. I am not going to be making excuses anymore and I will stick to the challenge. I will try and clear up some things on my mind as well that are bothering me, and I will just focus on myself and improving myself.

My cousin is coming to visit for a few days tomorrow. I never cared for him so I will try and not talk eith him much. More than likely he will set my mood in a bad way and I'd hate for it to lead to a relapse. I'll be strong though!

 

Thanks guys for checking in on here.

I agree with you Chris that the best way to help forget about something is by doing something else. It is funny how your brain can focus all its attention to 1 thing. I remember my last streak is I liked to keep my routine, and I tried my best to keep moving around. Any distraction that set me back to starting my routine would leave me in an ill mood!

Anyway!

Day 3
It has been a long day. I woke up, was sleepy but had a lot to do. For the most part it seemed like a sleepy/lazy day. My dog slept most of the day and same for my dad. I went to prep my grandfather's old house for my cousins arrival and I felt sad being there since it brought memories of my grandfather. Later on though I went to some free concert with my sister and her bf/friends and had a good time. I had a random thought in the day that will be my new motivation! Maybe my sour mood earlier could be a day like that, or it could be withdrawal - who knows. All I know is I want to feel good about myself and I don't want to be moping around sad. I know I felt this way at the start of my last streak and then felt amazing. Another thing that I thought of is that you shouldn't be mad at yourself for a relapse. Be mad at P! If you see the damage it does to your state of mind then you should be mad at it. Being mad at it makes you feel strong towards the challenge of quitting! I do think I have the strong mindset to quit and keep up my streak. Made it past 3 days, now I want to break 7!

 

Day 5.

Been a long busy weekend. Summers are busy and full of stress. I think I have thus written somewhere on here and it has been my reason for my relapses lately. Just trying to relax after a long day. Today was one of those days, but I know if I fap I lose my progress and need to start all over. To be honest, I am exhausted and tired and not in the mood. I do have an urge/temptation, but now comes the part where discipline takes charge. Tomorrow will just be a tiring day but as far as I know it won't be too stressful. I still feel good though and I need to remember why I am doing this. I want to beat my streak and make myself a better person. I am single and need to get my life in order, so this is going to benefit me, and my future SO. Next goal will be 7 days!