It's been a few days. A story i'd like to share. (30 days)

Hello!! i started nofap on 6th of July this year and have gone 30 days without any form of PMO. i was not into any crazy stuff, only sensual and regular stuff. you are currently reading this while i am on my 31st day of nofap and i will put up a few more posts when i reach further milestones ( DAMN SURE AS HELL I AM)

backstory
I first started watching pornography at the age of 11 ( god help me). it was not a serious addiction, just something i used to do to pass the time. i didn't know it was bad and it would feel good so i didn't really care. i did have immense feelings of sadness and guilt but they numbed the more frequently i watched: funnily enough, my other emotions such as happiness and anger numbed as well. mom did catch me once when she accidentally opened my browsing history, but i still watched. the only difference was nobody knew i was watching. It wasn't a very serious problem for me until i was around 15 years old. Watching once or twice a day just wasn't enough for me and some days i would end up wanking five times a day. My daily life turned to only eating, sleeping and shitting. even just two months ago i seriously believe i was addicted to PMO and honestly, i don't think i ever got hard unless i watched. Only recently did i make a commitment to stop this for good.

Here's a few reasons why i made the nofap commitment

One of the most important reasons imo to make this commitment was to get rid of the useless drag that PMO is. I can't recall how many times this has dragged me in some of the most fundamental parts of life. when you're doing PMO 2 or 3, it's just not possible to think straight. there is this fog in your brain which you can't really blow away. someone would be talking to me and could barely understand what the person just said. this could be anyone; friends, relatives, parents, teachers, random stranger. There's more than just that, there's something watching porn does to you that makes you socially awkward and drops your charisma levels to that of a toaster. During my school years, there's been lots of girls that have come up to me to start a conversation, to get to know each other better. They would hold their ends of the conversation and even try to get me to talk but i would just end up making the situation very awkward. i could see that my girl friends and even my guy friends would just start losing interest in me. this got to the point where not even my family would want to talk to me and i would just be talking to myself ( yes this happened, some days my only "friends" were the walls of my room and myself). Furthermore, I'd add that very often people would ask me whether i was on drugs. i did go for a few smokes and drinks at gatherings but i have never taken drugs in my life. it did become a big concern for me. Maybe constantly watching pornography just gives you "that drug addict look".

But regardless of all these reasons, i wouldn't change until recently in July, i would find myself lurking on this forum. Since July, before i slept, i would open my internet browser and instead of going off on another PMO session, i would google "nofap forums" and lurk here. I did know of nofap before this but never really looked into it properly. This was a big help for me getting to 30 days with no porn as well; simply 10-20 minutes reading other people's stories. It's amazing how much inspiration i could get just by reading stories written by several people, all that have gone through the same problems i have. This forum, God and oasis ( music band) have been the three driving forces that got me to where I am now and they will always have a special place in my heart.

my experience
July has been a roller-coaster of a month for me. My first 14 days on nofap were an emotional hell. A flurry of emotions went through me in these two weeks, I was angry, punching walls and doors, sad, shouting and even crying. I don't remember crying so much in such a short time ( around 8 times). One such event i remember, i went to the rooftop of my house to get some laundry. It was around 7 in the evening and the sun had set. In the almost very dark bluish black sky i remember looking up at a star, staring at it for a moment and for some reason just breaking down, crying my heart out for 10 minutes straight. There were also some serious headaches and days i would just stay in bed looking up at the ceiling ( i guess this is called a flatline??)

Maybe all these emotions exploding onto me was the result of all that PMO i had used to numb and forget my pain and problems in the past. guess it really does come back to you. However, after those 14 days I started seeing an improvement, in both my energy and my mood. I had absolutely stopped talking to people in the initial phase but in the last 10 days of July, I noticed a drastic change which I will get to in a second. Overall these 30 days have been a powerful experience and I plan on never ever EVER going back to PMO or anything close to pornography.

RESULTS!!
I don't even know where to start, I got my emotions back, that's worth fighting for. There has been a great increase in my energy levels. I enjoy life at home, gym, library and I also love meeting members of my family again like my relatives and grandparents ( i became very isolated previously). My reaction time has improved a lot as well; I used to play a lot of counter strike and i've got past my best rank, I reached MGE from GN4 in a month for those wondering but I've also grown bored from video games in general. I prefer learning french and learning tango instead; more social things. Sitting in a group is also a very fun experience, i never knew i could have this much fun with friends and I try my best to meetup with friends at least 3 times a week. I am currently trying to bulk ( it's really hard) and aiming to get to 190 lbs or 86 kg. It's also fun talking to girls, I feel I do have good looks but with my experience with girls I can confirm you good looks mean NOTHING if you aren't energetic or have no ambitions in life. Good looks only give a good first impression naturally, the rest is all about your game ( which i am working on as well).

these are just the changes I have felt in these 30 days. i do have significantly more free time now and i try to utilize it as much as i can. one thing is a problem is that i sleep more often and sleep so deep nothing wakes me up.


What I can help you with
Nofap was a serious motivation for my successful 30 days and i can testify to the benefits it has.
I do come here every 2nd or 3rd day and if anyone has any queries, I would be glad to help or even just talk to about life in general.
I tell as many friends as well as family of mine about nofap because i don't want them to suffer the same way i did
One thing I do want to make clear is that nofap won't work until you make adjustments to your routine. These adjustments can be anything from starting making your bed or travelling half the world. Nofap, like so many people here state as well, is only a catalyst that will SPEED UP your progress to a better life. Giving up PMO is simply not enough and you will relapse if you do not make adjustments that allow you to change your old routines entirely.
Some things I did to change my routines were making my bed, listening to my fav Oasis songs more often and I even started listening to the Beatles and some more punk music. I have signed up for french classes that help me learn better and I also try to call up my friends myself more often( previously only my friends would call me), they were very surprised to see me calling and they loved it.

I plan on posting here in the future and also to help as many people as i can. I also plan on getting to a point i don't have to track my days without PMO but still stay here and help ppl.

lastly i would just say to never forget your past, keep it as something that made you the better man/woman/whatever that you are today
remember feeling low, remember losing hope, remember all the feelings and the day they stopped.

 

Merci beaucoup, monsiuer!!

 

Two things you'd want to change. First off you don't want to be going anywhere near P. Forget watching, you want to avoid at all costs. Second, don't fight your sexuality. When your horny, you want to want sex instead of wanting to porn. This little adjustment just made P useless to me because I had something better to think of than virtual pixels. For some reason, it also made me VERY social, I have never been this talkative and charismatic in my entire life.

Also I love your music taste mate and Blur were never near Oasis