Is there anyone like me?

You need some new tools in your tool box. Read the book Willpower Instinct. There is some great info in that book. It really helps to understand how the mind works.

Your self loathing and guilt makes you more likely to relapse.

 

It's so much easier to fap than to face the fear of life without it. Life without PMO is scary because you have so many negative feelings inside that you haven't dealt with. Have you seen a therapist? Maybe that could be something you could do?

You keep coming back and you keep trying so you are going to succeed. Only you can say when it will happen. It takes way more than willpower and motivation which is fleeting. There is a space between impulse and reaction. What are you doing in that space? That will determine your success.

 

Not everyone successfully reboots in one shot, sometimes it takes work and a good number of tries. If you say you can make it 5 or 6 days clean your on the right track. On those days there must be things that trigger your behavior find them and avoid them. Listen to Feos and get tools to help, try doing research if you haven't yet it could help keep you in the fight. If you can make it a week you can last longer if you just keep trying. It took me 8+ streaks to get it right. First streak 5 days clean, second streak 9 days several more streaks until i made it a month. Some times you have to hit bottom to want to change but you seem too smart for that man. Just don't give up!! If you relapse learn why and make plans to avoid it. The more you try the more you will learn not just about this whole rebooting thing but also about yourself. I managed to complete a year of this NoFap thing and you can do it too just don't give up!!

 

Excuse my ignorance, I assume you're in high school, and don't most high schools have therapists that students can see during lunch or free periods?

And you live alone?? That's pretty crazy for a 16 year old. Maybe you should remove internet connections from your home. Get a landline for phone calls at home and leave your cell phone in your car, or replace your smart phone get a "dumb phone." Rely on books , CD's and basic cable for entertainment at home, or just use your home for sleep. Stay out until bedtime, studying/hanging out at coffee shops or whatever.

Does that help at all?? I hope it does.

 

Yes i have been years trying to remove this addiction. I have some bad fetish habits that are and have wrecked a lot of my life. I had a good run at the start of the year but it went bad and I crashed. I can say block the internet. Move the computer in a common area. A journal is very important when you have a hard time. The best is to keep track of the bad and the good. As you go through the day work more and more at getting the good list to be longer than the bad list. It is not an overnight cure by no means. Find an accountability partner. Share what you are feeling daily. Have a way to contact them when the urger is uncontrollable. Set a way to get away from the situation you are in when the urge is real bad. If you have access to listening to podcasts look up ASI247.org: He is helpful. prayers for strength.

 

Remember, everything is cause-and-effect. If you have caved in and have watched P, you must analyse why this has happened. Were you alone with nothing to do? Is an internet-attached phone a risk? If you have a computer or laptop in your room, then remove it and only use it when in a family room with others around - have a rule with yourself, your laptop does NOT go into your bedroom with you. If your parents ask, come up with an excuse "it's a bit lonely in my room by myself", or "the light's not quite right", or even dodge an explanation altogether "I just prefer it out here".

Internet phone? downgrade to a non internet phone. You're 16, you definitely don't *need* an internet phone like those in work/business.

Remove visual stimuli from your room, no calendars, posters, no photos of female friends.
Stay out of your room until you're ready to go to sleep, and then, immediately go to sleep - or alternatively, find a book to read and make sure you read it keeping yourself occupied until you feel ready to fall asleep.

Progress with NoFap comes by analysing what causes your failures, and adjusting your behaviour to do better next time.

 

I'm similar man, Ive had dermatitis since I was 16.. I thought it'd pass but I continued to PMO and MO so I still have it I fell. Its a self esteem issue perhaps, I tried using this thing called 'Bio Oil' its a natural oil that soothes the scalp it helps greatly! Medicated shampoos leave my scalp red so its not great to use that. Also try yoga and meditation to help process how you feel

 

Hi my friend,

I was reading about your dermatitis. As far as I know, it's hardly connected with PMO. I suffer the same issue on scalp and face and my doc told it depends on low temperatures and high level of stress (the only issue which may be connected with PMO). Specific shampooes (oil, to be correct) can really help, together with sunbathe if u have the possibility during summer. And try to keep low level of stress of course.

Never give up on your fight and every time you fall please stand up stronger! I'll keep u in my prayers!

 

Slowhands is right about the dermatitis. I don't think that it's related to PMO, except possibly through stress. Also, it often results from sensitivity to colors or scents in products that you use. Change brands, especially to those that are hypoallergenic, and see if that helps.

Now, about your addiction: You are around the age when a male's hormones are at their lifetime peak. It's bound to be harder for one of your age to stay on a long streak than for one who is older. Keep trying, and make whatever progress you can. Don't fret (or fall into self-loathing) too much over what you can't seen to control yet. Just keep trying, and you'll eventually get better at it. That's the only way to learn to master the urges. It's a process, and it can be lengthy. Getting all tense and trying to resist even the occurrence of urges only leaves them hanging around and postpones your progress against them. Instead, let them wash over you like waves on a beach, and (unless you give in) they will quickly pass. Each one is another victory, a boost to your self-confidence, and a step in teaching your brain that you're in control.

Meanwhile, I implore you to avoid the incest fetish porn at all costs. All porn is bad, but that's absolute poison! As several have told you already, you've got to prevent yourself from accessing on-line porn. Move the computer, put a porn-blocker on it, etc. Do whatever it takes. If snakes were coming into your room through the window, wouldn't you close the window?

 

Second the recommendation to stay away from incest. I'm finding this out the hard way on my road to recovery.

You said former AP. Do you need a new one? Let me know if that's the case. I've been doing it on my own with some success but more motivation wouldn't hurt.

 

All I could say is NEVER GIVE UP. In each of my relapse I have looked for something to be thankful for. The first few days when I wouldn't even look at the female jogger on the side of the road purposely to try and strengthen my will power, work it out so to speak etc. something that I could say, I did that good and now have learned from it. Then start again! NEVER GIVE UP! And with each relapse I felt at least a little progress. Like the line in " any given Sunday" you could give up, or you could claw your way out of hell, one inch at a time!" Before u know it you will be a success!

 

I thought I'd respond - because I've relapsed before - if not on P, but certainly on MO - and it's like treading water for me when what I really want to do is swim to another shore - except for years, ya know? A lot of wasted time - which is ok, but it's just me wasting my own time - I'm hurting myself the most.

I wouldn't say I have any advice necessairly.

One thing I read recently is from a belief system - I thought it was good. They say - when you fail - it's alright to feel like shit about it - but only do it for 3 seconds and that's it. If you succeed, it's great to feel amazing about it - but only do it for 3 seconds. The point is to stay here, in the moment - because that's all we've really got - all the rest is stories in our heads, it's all perspective - ultimately it's all bullshit.

And also - my personal experience: sometimes we've got to walk through really dark times, it takes what it takes - so even though maybe you've fallen down so many times that it just feels hopeless now - I think it's possible that that's happened/you're where you are at for a real reason - kind of the necessary place you might first needed to walk into to even be able to have some real success. And even if you keep trying and it doesn't stick - it's not the end of the world - it's ok. You don't want to do this activity in your life because it doesn't make you happy it sounds like - and so regardless of not having pure success with quitting right off the bat, - you're still trying - working on it. That's defiantly the huge deal - it's kind of a real miracle - good shit!

Like that saying - the difference between successful people and everybody else - with whatever, when successful people didn't succeed, over and over and over - they still kept trying - got back up and tried again.

As long as you've got a breath in your body, there's hope. The past doesn't matter - the only thing that matters is right now, always.

If there's anything else I can think as a suggestion?

If something isn't working or hasn't been working - try something different, whatever it is. For me right now - that means, trying to talk/support other people - hence this comment. I've got 9 days - I've got to fix my counter - it's way wrong.

Anyway - man, you can do it. Totally have faith in you - you've got the power - if you do or don't want to do it - totally up to you, I'm not trying to say what you should or shouldn't do - what do I really know about what anyone else "should" do? I don't even know what I should do half the time, and when I do - usually I do the opposite.

Regardless - we can do what we want - and there's hope! Life is really good, it's wide open, there's so much more cool shit in life than all this - these things we are struggling with. Just waiting for us - I really believe that, as cliche' and hokey as it sounds.

If you need somebody just to vent or talk to, feel free. Hang in there man - I think it's very possible that you're way closer to where you're trying to go than it seems. It's always darkest before the dawn as they say.

- Sandwich

 

Your welcome - it's such a cruddy way of life/feeling and ongoing existence.

But the wild thing is, here we are - trying to do something about it. How much of society, any society that's looking at P - how many of them are here and trying to face this stuff? Not that many - we're the minority.

I think maybe it's the one's who go through the worst - that rise the highest. It's like, this forum is like the end of the line - most of us went all the way to a point - in our own lives with how much we can handle with it all with looking a porn and how it's affecting us - otherwise, why would we want to be here? Certainly not the first place I could pick to hang out - like "Hey, I think I want to go hang out on a porn addict forum and write about how much looking at porn's destroying me! ")

It's a real blessing though - I truly believe in a lot of ways - we're the lucky ones. For one thing - we're onto a major life solution - that's cool!

And even if I could? Do I really want to be just a mediocre porn watcher - say if I've got a girlfriend or wife? and just go on like that forever. That's not really what I want, porn in my life has never been what I've wanted - I like it, totally - but I've never wanted it as a part of my life - in my life, despite looking at it all the time.

So all this happening? To this rare minority or us? It's a blessing - we're onto a real answer, not just for us but society's pretty permeated with wacko sexual garbage - it's not happiness. And through such a serious problem - we stumble into a major complete miracle solution.

I'm not a religious person, but if that's not grace - I don't know what is? Maybe we really are the luckiest ones of all. *shrugs*

You're not giving up on yourself - that's the biggest deal of all! Regardless of you're supposed success or failure, whatever - I applaud you. It's a huge deal! It shows serious strength - regardless of how "good" or "bad" you're doing, yadda, yadda...

I'd say that's the biggest deal of all - make sure to give yourself a hug inside for caring about yourself so much and not giving up on yourself. You're still doing it - win or lose - if you keep persisting - I'd say it's guaranteed - you're going to overcome it - it's inevitable, literally!

We're all on the same path - we're making it - *right now* - here we are, in the solution - regardless of whatever. I've fallen a lot - and I'm making it, fallen most of my whole life - all the while wanting my whole life to quit.

I've only got 12 days now but my resets have become fewer and fewer, and my porn use has become rarer and rarer - now it's mostly just staying away from MO - and there's been changes - as a whole through the whole process. So I just want to say - there's hope! And you're already doing it - regardless of how it might seem - you're making it! Darkest before the dawn, for sure! The internal gears are working, regardless of what the outside looks like - it's obvious to me, for real.

Anyway - (not anyway, anyway also) it helps me! to talk, encourage other people - makes me cry even, because I'm being honest. It might help you too - certainly a good distract from all my own cravings and crap. Like one guy says "If you feel discouraged, encourage others."

I'm rambling now, for sure. Hang in there man, we're all in this together. I meant all i said - you've got a lot of strength - and you're already winning. The porn and everything on the outside is just a symptom of stuff inside us, you've got a battle going on inside - and you're winning by just by not giving up on yourself. You're already winning... *shrugs* It's awesome!

 

Ive been trying nofap since the beggining of 2017 and my record was 2 months.i think this is a Lot harder for teenagers cus we have alot of hormones,but on the other hand we can make this next years the best ones of our lifes!im working on my New streak,and im felling good about it.its hard to progress trough streaks because of the mindfog.i sugest you take your time and prepare yourself.