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I really hope i just sleep , Die and end my suffer ( Femdom addiction )

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Zed94, Jan 7, 2019.

  1. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    Oh! I think I forget to do some updates here.

    So after my 120 days ( 4 months ) of NoFap, I thought that my ED is gone, so tried the same thing again and tried to have sex with a prostitute ( because I couldn't find a gf). But the same thing happened and I couldn't get an erection.
    I got frustrated so mush and I relapsed just after w week from that to reboot, then I kept going for short strikes ( like 1 or 2 weeks ) from time to time.

    ( after some months )

    I visited a Psychiatrist last week and he couldn't help me, he just adviced me to find a partner and train to get an erection and use pills.

    The last week I start having some stupid ideas about trying to visit a Dominatrix, sadly the place I live in there is no pro ones so I made an arrangement to do a session with a normale prostitute ( including foot worship, face slapping, and belting/whipping ),

    I thought if I do this I will get hard.

    But guess what? I did the session and she slapped the hell out of face hardly and whipped me but I didn't feel any sexual pleasure ...

    Pain is painful and not pleasurable, everything was just a fantasy in my head and I thought that face-slapping is one of my best fetishes but when I tried it in real life I found no pleasure on it, even that she was no pro but she did the job very well and was kind of enjoying beating me.

    I really don't know what to do, I had no success in doing normal vanilla sex and my BDSM fantasies are not pleasurable, I really can't understand my self anymore ...
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  2. I will tell you what has worked for others that I met here. You need to totally avoid such fantasies, you should cut them totally. And take nofap as a permanent lifestyle. So avoid prostitutes, sessions, edging, fantacising. Recover yourself and get a gf/wife then things will get better. 120 days are a long distance that helps in recovery but it is not enough.
     
    zaba99 likes this.
  3. j0rdi3

    j0rdi3 Fapstronaut

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    Wow. Good luck, buddy. You have a very warped perspective of the purpose of sexuality in my estimation. Really hope you get that straightened out.. Sex is for one man and one woman and is about love, openness, intimacy and commitment. Sex is not a fucking commodity like cotton or pork bellies. You're in the place you are right now because you think in your whacked out brain that going to a prostitute is somehow acceptable. It's not. The sooner you realize that, the better.

    Feel like I chewed you out and now you're ready to spit in my eye? That's what you need to hear; someone who's willing to tell off so you can return to reality.

    Good luck. And that's not a quip; I really mean good luck.
     
    zaba99 likes this.
  4. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you or help guys :)
     
  5. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    To be honest with everyone, i can't Handel this anymore, 2019 is almost gone.
    I will make a decision, i will give 2020 a try, do the best as i can to be better, workout and get my dating life handled.
    If things in 2020 don't get better then it will be my last year and i hope just that my family forgives me. Living the rest of my life, being in my thirties and knowing that i didn't live the dating life i wanted is not an option for me at all. ( this is just a reminder )
     
    White Sheep likes this.
  6. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    ^ Get a hobby. There is more to life than women and sex. I think most married guys wish they were not married.
     
    zaba99 likes this.
  7. Don't ever think such way! I get it and this addiction sucks but this is not the solution. Don't ever give up man not now nor later, one day you will be proud of yourself that you kept fighting and didn't give up. Change your strategies and keep studyying yourself, you will win it :)
     
    zaba99, White Sheep and Coffee Candy like this.
  8. HazyPhaser

    HazyPhaser New Fapstronaut

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    Dude! It’s going to be ok!

    Good job coming on this site and trying to address your problem. It’s really hard work and some guys never give them selves the chance to fix it.

    I know from personal experience that it sucks not being able to get an erection. The fact is, when you first start having sex a lot of guys get nervous and have trouble getting an erection. You are not doomed. Jerking off to porn all the time doesn’t help, of course.

    I had a lot of trouble getting erections at first but it’s not as big of a deal as we think it is. No one is going to shame you for it, and if they do, they are an asshole. If you find a girl you like, and she likes you, you can take your time and it might take a few tries, but you will get it. Don’t mess around with prostitutes, that is a waste of your time.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. You will figure it out and there is a lot more to life, relationships, and even sex than always getting a rock hard boner.

    Stay away from the porn!!
     
  9. I am not sure, the heel noise would have made any difference. It's tough, and I lived in Germany for decades, it is not easy to get around there and meet new people, they are rather introverted.
    From my point of view, when you are a virgin and you go to a prostitute, you're kind of still a virgin, you never had real sex. You never made a woman desire you. Get your life straight first and women will come.
     
    zaba99 likes this.
  10. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    Actually it's not about sex, you already said " If you find a girl you like, and she likes you, you can take your time and it might take a few tries " and this is my problem, if you struggle to get a partner at this age, that damage your self-esteem and it so depressing.
     
  11. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    " when you are a virgin and you go to a prostitute, you're kind of still a virgin "

    Oh ! i never thought of this! thx for making me notice even if it's had to hear ^^'
     
  12. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Anyone needing help with femdom porn addiction go to the "information" section of my profile and then "find all threads".
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  13. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    NEW UPDATE:

    A lot of things happened, I will try to put them in order...

    I couldn't get over my femdom addiction but I am not watching porn as before, I do it only rarely and I am working my way to get over Porn addiction completely ... But getting over sexual submission to women it's not even possible, had visited three psychiatrists,my goal now is my find a healthy relationship with a girl who wants to be a dominant one in the relation and bedroom, but no slavery and that bullshit! because I am a masculine guy and not weak like those on videos.

    1. Six months ago, I visited a prostitute, paid her to beat me, slap me hard, and let me worship her foot, but I didn't really enjoy it, slapping and beating it really hurt and not like in porn ...

    2. Four months ago, I got blue pills to my ED and visited a prostitute for the last time to see if the blue pills will work and finally it worked, for the first time i got hard and was able to cum, I really got hard only when she was being a bit dominant in sex but I am still a virgin since i don't count that shit! I only did it to be sure that my dick works with pills and that gave confidence in my penis!

    3. This is the good news!!! 2 months ago I
    finally lost my virginity from cold-approaching!!! I pulled a girl from the street to my place and I fucked her for an hour and made cum like a real man! I was using pills but I really enjoyed sex with her, she was so attracted to me and was also being dominant and by being dominant I mean she was riding me because I love being on bottom! for some reason, I couldn't cum but I don't give a fuck I enjoyed sex, making out and her warm body all over me! she was sadly a tourist and never saw her again ...

    3. I visited some BDSM munches and met some cool peoples, everyone agrees that PORN is bullshit and far away from reality and there is a lot of peoples doing those stuff in a healthy relationship or even as playmates but sadly because of corona we don't meet any more and I couldn't find a girl to play with, but I am going to meet a domme when things come back to normal, no slavery bullshit, just playmates



    ===> I am 26 now and only fucked one girl, I still feel so bad, I am still doing pick-up & gym but sadly I am not good looking and I am short, so even I am doing my best it will always be harder for me but I am not going to give up and I hope that I fuck another chick because now corona is over!!!

     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  14. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I would advise that you do not go down that path. It will eventually escalate and you will get tired of it one day. It's very easy to cure and it will cause mental damage if you cure it afterwards.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  15. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    Which path do you mean?
     
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  16. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I meant if you do the femdom for real.
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  17. Great, you are progressing, but I will still remind you that the most important thing is to TRY to change your mind, TRY to be more positive. It isn't easy, but the keyword is trying. I definitely think it is the key. Only you can control yourself.
     
    zaba99 likes this.
  18. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    I have already tried being slapped and beaten and that hurts and it's not arousing!
    But what is the problem with having a domme gf and building a relation based on respect and love and only do kinky stuff in the bedroom?
    When I had sex was better 10x times then all femdom! I think I need a decent gf and falling in love to forget femdom!
    I am not good looking I went out many nights, approached many chicks but nothing hooks :(
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  19. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    It will cause mental damage if you increase your serotonin levels after doing it for real. Certain fetishes can actually make you suicidal if you cure it after.
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  20. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    I agree with normal sex there is always a max level for the serotonin but in BDSM you get more serotonin by doing more extreme things! Thanks for making me notice this ;)
     

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