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INTRODUCTION: My story

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Raph1218, Aug 12, 2019.

  1. Aug 12, 2019 #1
    Raph1218

    Raph1218 New Fapstronaut

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    Let me start off by saying I am 55 years old, look much younger (still have my hair), and financially stable . I started with soft core porn in youth (playboy,penthouse) and started regular buying of these mags..expanding to others like Club etal. I never realized it but I had a hard time "connecting" with girls; relationships only lasting a few months. There sex was fine but I now attribute that to my youth and athleticism. Being 28 and having my own business I was determined to want to start a family. I met the girls of my dreams and eventually married her. I stopped buying the mags. But then came the mid-late nineties and the advent of the internet. I had my own business with a private office and for reasons unknown to me I (out of curiosity) started seeking porn pictures and the images were incredibly clear. Having three children and all the pressures involved I became more and more submersed in this "internet world". Without getting into details, it ruined my marriage. I didn't have the courage to open up to my wife, who was noticing how disconnected and irritating I was becoming. After my divorce I stayed away from porn for 6 months but had a hard time connecting with women..some very hot..and I thought it was because I was so used to sex with my wife. But the reality is I was having sex with these women and more ofter than not was thinking of porn images to "get it going". It got depressing so before you knew I dove in full steam ahead into the world of internet porn videos. This went on for years. In short, I started looking into the harmful effects of this habit and was shocked at what I learned. So here I am today, having moved out west to be closer to my now grown up kids and am on day 30 of what is proving to evolve into something doable ( no PMO ) but not easy. I stumbled upon this site by accident while searching for local support groups..and having read some of the forums I was glad to see that I am not alone and that success can occur. My dilemma, gentlemen, is that I read where a guy my age has to "use it or lose it". The urges come in waves and are extreme. I would like anyone's opinion to the question: can I masturbate occasionally ( with no porn, no images ) and still achieve success ? I'm talking like once or twice a month. Your input(s) would be appreciated.
     
    Raph1218, Aug 12, 2019
    Raph1218, Aug 12, 2019
    #1
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  2. Aug 12, 2019 #2
    celery_tree

    celery_tree Fapstronaut

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    I don't have the answer to your question, but it's things like this that make me gawk at the people who say porn and masturbation are not damaging in any way, shape, or form. I'm sorry about what happened in your marriage, wish you strength on your current quest, and hope you find your answer soon.
     
    celery_tree, Aug 12, 2019
    celery_tree, Aug 12, 2019
    #2
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  3. Aug 12, 2019 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button |Day Counter | Rebooting Resources|Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    Deleted Account, Aug 12, 2019
    Deleted Account, Aug 12, 2019
    #3
    celery_tree likes this.
  4. Aug 12, 2019 #4
    Ryan1071

    Ryan1071 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the forum. I just joined today myself! I’m glad to see that you made it 30 days, that is hard work. Good job! You CAN do this. There is quite a bit of support on here and I think it really helps to talk about it.
     
    Ryan1071, Aug 12, 2019
    Ryan1071, Aug 12, 2019
    #4
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  5. Aug 12, 2019 #5
    Raph1218

    Raph1218 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey thanks..the moderator sent me some links as to how this all works. I have a big mountain to climb.
     
    Raph1218, Aug 12, 2019
    Raph1218, Aug 12, 2019
    #5
    celery_tree, Coffee Candy, rafael33 and 1 other person like this.
  6. Aug 13, 2019 #6
    PornFreeMG

    PornFreeMG Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear what happened. You are not alone. I am 48 and married for 13 years. I have a 10 year old son. I went 302 days and then relapsed for what I thought was a good reason. I’d be more than willing to tell you my story. Just remember, you are not alone.
     
    PornFreeMG, Aug 13, 2019
    PornFreeMG, Aug 13, 2019
    #6
    celery_tree, Coffee Candy and rafael33 like this.
  7. Aug 13, 2019 #7
    rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Stumbled by accident? I don't think so. The thirsty man smells the water.
    Success can occur? Definetely yes. You already achieved your greatest success: YOU ARE ALIVE. :)

    Welcome to the Nofap-Community.
    The NO PMO - journey is not easy but worth the effort.
    We made the bad habits and we can break the bad habits.
    The community will support you.

    On day 28 I switched from hard mode (NO PMO) to soft mode (NO PM). And I am glad I did. So I don't have to set my day counter on zero.
    You are fighting seriously and you are right: the urges come and go and sometimes they are extremely intense. Look at the sky and watch the clouds moving, they come and go - so do the urges. Will they disappear by masturbation ? Forget it. After a few days they will be back - stronger than ever.
    Stay strong. Slowly the urges will be less intense, there may come flatlines for weeks. My best way to resist the urges: encouraging other fapstronauts. It really works. ;)

    Will you succeed? Of course you will. You have much more power than you think. Keep on trucking!
     
    rafael33, Aug 13, 2019
    rafael33, Aug 13, 2019
    #7
    Raph1218, celery_tree and Coffee Candy like this.
  8. Aug 13, 2019 #8
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Hey welcome to the forum its good to meet you and have fighting the good fight alongside us

    Some advice:
    Be sure and give a look through all the threads, you might find something to be of great help to you.

    I strongly advise you to be active on your profile; start by choosing an avatar and then make daily posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you
    encouragement/support.
    ★People love to communicate in the profiles section and also the journal section. These are 2 of the most important sections. Also, we could always use your help in supporting members around the forum and in return you most likely will receive some as well!

    You should also highly consider creating a public journal (in the appropriate section[<-- link] for you ) and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along on your journey!

    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
     
    Deleted Account, Aug 13, 2019
    Deleted Account, Aug 13, 2019
    #8
    rafael33, Ryan1071 and celery_tree like this.

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