Being a lone feeling

If it's any consolation, I just came here because I feel the same thing. I don't think it's because you turned 40 that you feel this... I'm approaching 40, but what I realize is I ignored or overcompensated for that feeling of loneliness for so many years, either by drinking, partying with myriads of people, or our old faithful friend: PMO. Shun those things for a minute and throw away all the distracting screens... and what do we have? The realization that we are alone... not that we are legitimately alone, but more that we are really the only ones who will ever fully understand ourselves... and no one can do that for us. It's painful. But it doesn't mean that people aren't trying to understand... and it doesn't mean they don't care. They do! We do!

 

Why do you automatically assume no one can understand?

 

I think I understand, or at least I try to. At age 40 your life as a woman has basically ended your reproductive capacities are done, so unless you have kids and a man by that age you are probably not gonna get them. And even if you have those things if you don't have qulity relatinships with your kids they are not gonna want to talk to you and your man aswell. So just look at yourself see what you might have done wrong and try to bond. I'm just specualting idk what ur situation is but that feels the best advice for me.

 

I have the exact feeling since i was a kid actually , i never know of anything else. If someone ever starts talking about loneliness i do understand but at the same time i don't because i don't know anything else, it always have been this way for me. I avoid other people and society for numerous reasons but the biggest reason is because i will feel loneliness AND alone when there are people around me. i'm the kinda person if something happens i dive into it.

for example if i feel super dupper alone and lonely i go into the forest camping, if i go out meeting people it never works because i feel too different at that point. I also got health problems and this is also a difficulty.

Probably at that age you want kids, family and alot of other stuff... unconciously you probably see what other people got and it triggers somekind of response in you. i'm 33 but i also got this issue. Especially when i see childhood friends with wife and kids etcetra. I deal with it by isolating myself in nature and just forget about it, clear my mind so to speak. but yeah i avoid society in general, i don't want to get these triggers all the time. You can get really depressed instantly when these things happen, when you run into certain people/situations.

I have also noticed when this happens often enough you get numb, at a certain point you should vent emotions in any way you see fit.

also civilization is very unnatural.. in nature or in tribal situations ( non multi cultural ) families would be closely tight groups with other families and marriage/ bonding would happen at early age. Social life in general was more tight and productive in those days, these days it's all superficial and you say only hi to your neightbour you never talk to. Its unnatural to know nothing about the people who surround you... if you don't know people you feel like you don't know people.

 

I can suggest a couple of posts that might help you deal better with your feelings of loneliness and not feeling understood:

A primer on dealing with negative emotions:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...g-with-negative-emotions.235876/#post-2091926


How to journal:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/journaling-probably-the-best-way-to-heal.245610/

I believe you do not need to go out with friends and people to feel understood; I believe you first need to understand yourself. Keep a journal and try to explain there what you feel, what your emotions are.