My Girlfriend cheated on me help

Agreed - but for the first phrase, I'd say fear or convenience.

 

Im sorry man, getting cheated on is the worst feeling ever. In my opinion, a cheater shouldnt be forgiven until theyve had enough time to reflect, learn, and change

 

I think it is always tricky when someone asks in a thread "what should I do". Most of you have given great advice on here that may be the perfect answer for a particular person, situation or relationship. There is no right or wrong answer about how to deal with someone cheating in a relationship. There are so many variables and complex emotional scenarios that in my opinion you can only decide what is best for you and your relationship in the long wrong and how brave/strong/determined you are to achieve it.
Before every relationship, while in every relationship and after every past relationship I have always pmo'd. I never saw it as cheating because it was always there with me, like a hobby, habit, it was part of me and i felt it was nothing personal to my SO. This would be ok if the partner knew that this is what she was signing up for, but of course it was my little secret, it was my addiction. She didn't know that all my sexual and emotional energy would be shared with her and my pmo addiction. She didn't know that i would neglect her or have no time for her because i was to involved in my pmo. She didn't know though that when I was tired or couldn't sexually perform it was because I spent my energy on pmo earlier. She didn't know that my sexual thoughts/desires where with my pmo rather than with her. I cheated on them all because i did not tell them the truth, and it is a truth that means they would only get 50% of my attention, my emotion, my loyalty, my desires, my time, my energy, my passion, my love. They have thrown 100% of their soul's into a relationship with me only to get 50% of a soul of a man that has a pmo addiction. I have cheated them and betrayed them.
I joined nofap this month and before then i always believed and prided myself on always being faithfull in a relationship, never cheating physical on someone. Since being here I realised i did cheat on every single one. Physical or not, for me, i have cheated.
I also had the view, before coming on here, that if my SO ever went with another man then we would be finished, end of relationship, she would be to blame for ending it, how could she do such a thing. But maybe she was just trying to find the other 50% of me.
This is just my experience and the progress i feel i am making on the road to recovery.

 

One of the most important reasons to be in a relationship is to have a good time. If you have an awful time, the relationship has no reason to exist, because the opposite is happening. Also, if she has cheated on you, most probably she will cheat on the other guy too...

 

This. Right or wrong, what our partner withhold from us, we tend to look for in others. Excellent, excellent post.

 

It is so nice to see all these hypocrites on here telling you how your spouse wronged you. So do your supporters who say get “rid” of her would be up to throw stones at her or do they actually live in a glass house? I’d like to say look how great I am, but I am not. I wish I could tell you how ironic this “twist” is where the addict feels cheated on. There are some great responses from females here, but I thought maybe we should have a guy near his 40’s, suffering since early teens, in a relationship of 17 years, that a minimum of 6 months to one year of D-Day for 17 years. How did you work through your porn addiction? Because if my spouse asks me to stop I usually say I do, but I really don’t. I find it very weak to give up on someone I invested so much time with, wait, what is her side of the story? Is this all the information you have? Well if she just left, I am sorry that you had to go through that, but what if all people who cheated left the relationship? Would it be better if the partner that was cheated on to keep hanging on to a cheater? How would the cheater stop? How much more therapy will they need? How will we know they have stopped? Most people I speak to, usually spouses of addicts, wish they had left the Addict behind because their addict keeps relapsing, keeping the non-addict partner from their own personal growth or story line. It becomes more single player type relationships. Maybe your partner wanted to spare you the pain of their relapsing by habitual cheating. I mean could you image having a long list of people your partner cheated with? Would it matter if they where are losers? If my spouse kept cheating on me with losers...I’d wonder if maybe I was a Channing Tatum/Magic Mike looking kind of guy who she could not handle being with? Or maybe, we’ll anyway, Best Of Luck, and I hope everything works out well for you!

 

I hope your recovery is going well. I thought I should help you with your comment by replying that I wish you had more emotional support for those times you have “cheated.” I am sorry people assumed your where an adulterer, I hope they see you as actually looking for Emotional Support. Best of luck! Hope the best for you.

 

I have watched porn but never been in a relationship.So I never cheated on my partner.well thank you lets do 100 days

 

LMAO won’t that be something!

 

Why are you making fun of someone’s addiction?

 

Nope on the fact that the guy she cheated on him with might also be a porno addict so it would be like what did she gain by cheating if her next man is gonna still be an addict

 

It seems you are getting enjoyment from the misfortune of others. I thought this was for Porn Recovery, but your comment about seem to be way out of place here. Have you tried the Supportive Spouse help group? You may fit in there better instead of wishing others where suffering like addiction is a joke.