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pornography is not an addiction.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Z_the_B, Mar 31, 2015.

  1. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    So not even once? Is weed hyped or something?
     
  2. Buzzltyr

    Buzzltyr Fapstronaut

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    I agree. Whether it can truly be classified as an addiction may be the subject of academic debate for many years to come.

    However if treating it like an addiction and taking the same approach one would take to cure an addiction works for someone, why not use it?
     
  3. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    There will always be people who will agree or disagree over things. See what works for you. Whatever floats your boat.
     
  4. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    one time will become two times...then three times. like i said it is really funny in the beginning.

    the price is very high when you get addicted. i have only few friends who can control weed use - only once in two or three months. but i was smoking every day. i am living now with the secondary damages. that is the price.
     
    Z_the_B likes this.
  5. Buzzltyr

    Buzzltyr Fapstronaut

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    Avoid like the plague!!
     
  6. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    Okay I think that's the best course of action
     
  7. Dante's Shadow

    Dante's Shadow Fapstronaut

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    I had a counselor that said the same thing. Looking at P and Ming are not addictions. That made me pretty mad. I eventually ditched that counselor. But the more I think of it, the more I agree with him and what it says on the Art of Manliness website.

    I think the article spells it out pretty clearly. But before I quote the article I want to point out that just because it is messing up your life doesn't mean it is an addiction. Getting a bunch of DUIs can ruin your life, but I doubt there are people addicted to DRIVING while intoxicated. A habit of dishonesty with your boss or wife can ruin your life, but that doesn't necessarily mean you are addicted to lying. My PMO habit was ruining my life, and would have if I didn't start taking actions to stop it. Have I backslid at times, yes. The bottom line for me is that when I viewed my PMO problems exclusively as an addiction I could rarely envision myself free of it. When I view it at a really bad habit that can ruin my life if left unchecked, somehow I can envision myself overcoming that habit through consistent effort to build overriding good habits. So it boils down to semantics. If the addiction view works for you, great! Go with it. If you find yourself powerless against your addiction then you need to find a different view that does work. The habit view seems to work better for me.

    Now here are the main points of the article. (Also realize that this is the 4 article in a series and all 4 of them are worth the to read) I think if they were spelled out earlier there would not have been as much debate on this thread.

    Mindset
    1. Don’t Give Porn More Power Than It Should Have
    2. Accept the Fact That You’re the Kind of Guy Who Looks at Porn (And Understand That the Goal is to Become the Kind of Guy Who Doesn't Look at Porn)
    3. Address Underlying Issues
    4. Believe You Can Change
    5. Don’t Beat Yourself Up If and When You Backslide
    6. Find Ways to Conserve and Strengthen Willpower
    7. Strengthen Your Resilience
    Actions
    1. Get Rid of All Your Porn
    2. Hack the Habit Loop
    3. Have Implementation Intentions at the Ready
    4. Install Blocking Software on All Your Digital Devices
    5. Don’t Go It Alone: Get an Accountability Partner
    6. Track Progress (Or Not)
    7. Fast and Exercise
    You might recognize a ton of these since pretty much all of these can be found as good advice right here on NoFap.

    Links to the series on Art of Manliness:
    Part I Men and Porn: An Introduction
    Part II Men and Porn: Why Is the Pull of Porn So Strong?
    Part III The Possible Pitfalls of Porn
    Part IV How to Quit Porn
     
  8. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

    Where were you all this while lol
     
  9. Dante's Shadow

    Dante's Shadow Fapstronaut

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    I was writing that super-long post. Sorry about the length, but I agree with you and I'm glad you started this thread
     
    Z_the_B likes this.
  10. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    Medical doctors also encouraged people to smoke and said there were no side effects at one time. They also gave people lobotomies for mental illness! Medicine is constantly evolving and changing. Might not be termed an addiction today but that doesn't mean it isn't.
     
  11. Z_the_B

    Z_the_B Guest

  12. Thanatos

    Thanatos Fapstronaut

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    I think the media overplays the difficulty of addictions in general.
    We see TV shows were people are addicted to some substance and suffer so much trying to be clean, but really addictions are easier to break then what TV would have you believe.
    ADDICT is a taboo word. Take away the taboo and the word doesn't have much power anymore or I guess what I want to say is that words in the end only have the power you give to them.
    As a person who has had substance abuse problems I can tell you PMO use matches these problems in overall nature.
    It's just as destructive as some of them and if I call it an addiction I'm likely to take it more seriously and want to kick it's ass, I don't want to be a slave to anything.
    12 step programs would disagree with giving an "addiction" power or not, because they say the first thing to do is to admit that you have an addiction. I do not follow the 12 step program by the way.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2015
  13. fapstronaut1337

    fapstronaut1337 Fapstronaut

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    Heated thread. I like it.
    My take on it is that it is like cigarettes for me. I enjoy it while I am doing it, but the discomfort of having it done is way worse so it is alot more enjoyable to not do it.
    And if I do it just once, then it most likely won't be once it will be a binge... so I don't do it at all... This not as much with my previous relapses from PMO but more with cigarettes. But the point being that doing it doesn't take the urge away, it instead makes it worse.
    My dick will never get hurt from NoFap, but it sure can from PMO. As well as I will never die from not smoking, but smoking can kill me.

    Learning to enjoy air has been huge for me since quitting smoking. I now notice way too much perfume on someone or exhaustfumes from the cars in the city traffic etc... Just having a good old deep breaths of clean air is so energizing and calming at the same time, much more so than a few puffs of a cigarette.

    Just some basic thinking that alot of people look past, including myself in the beginning and still sometimes when urges come.
     
  14. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    um. don't take anyone's advice especially someone telling you not to try smoking. Alcohol is much worse for you, I have taken drug and alcohol classes in college. Alcohol listed as the #5 worst drug according to some studies and professionals!

    Marijuana will be known as the next centuries all purpose medicine. Hopefully you all live to find that out
     
  15. fapstronaut1337

    fapstronaut1337 Fapstronaut

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    Completely agree. monkotto is way out of line here with most of his posts in this thread... It may just be failure to communicate because of language or whatever, I myself struggle with english alot sometimes so bare with me...

    First of all "I was highly addicted to weed for 7 years"...
    This really proves what OP is saying with this thread that so many people misinterpit. People need to learn the difference between mental and physical addiction. Weed has no proven physical addiction as far as I know, and for something to be called highly addictive I think it should be physical aswell as mentally addicting.

    I do believe that we can create what we believe to feel as physical withdrawal symtoms with our mind, which can confuse people.

    And to promote alcohol before cannabis is ludacris... If someone wants to try something recreational or to help with pains etc... cannabis is the way to go.
    But yes, do it in moderation. You will not die, no one ever has. Meanwhile there are:

    2.5 Million Alcohol-Related Deaths Worldwide- Annually

    To make this relevant to the thread:

    Our mentality is everything in this. You just have to figure out the basics and stick to it. If you relapse you have learnt something, don't repeat it. Read the data, it is available for everyone on the internet. Don't stop listening to yourself or other people or ideologies but compare it to what we know today and THEN... only then inform someone else about it. Like someone said just in this thread, science is evolving constantly. What I have wrote right now might be proven wrong tomorrow but it should be what we live by right now.
     
  16. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    ok - you are defending weed. i did this in the beginning of my weed addiction. smoke and have fun.

    alcohol is bad and weed is also bad. i wrote: drink in moderation - i mean to party once in two or three months.

    failure in communication?! i would say failure in reading and understanding. o_O
     
  17. Jake1

    Jake1 Fapstronaut

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    addiction – a state characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli (substance or behavior (porn is actually sort of substance), despite adverse consequences
    by nature and definition a compulsive habit, not just something you do because you like it, you do it because you must/need to/have to. There is no choice and no control (unless you go into detox and with help get out of cycle)

    DSM 5 is consensus document, there were many people in favor of making category for sex addiction, but no consensus could be reached by that particular task force. However DSM 6 might be a different story again. In the first DSM homosexuality was labeled as a disorder. DSM clusters symptoms together, outward behavior. However on neurobiological level, no difference in Dopamine desensitization between Coke/Amphetamines/GHB/Crack etc. and excessive porn use (masturbation). They are all disorders of the reward system, all involving pathological learning.

    If a definition blocks you from changing behavior, use a definition that works for you.

    And i also would not recommend weed, it makes you stupid, takes away motivation and prevents you from developing in life. I especially wouldn't try any drugs if you are detoxing from sex/porn addiction since risk of cross addiction is quite high (you feel crap, smoke joint or use some other drugs, then you feel great, and bingo another nasty learning process/conditioning has entered your mind..) I would say the same for alcohol. If you want to try, only try when you feel good and don't have issues to deal with otherwise it can quickly turn into escape. I am of the conviction that you don't need drugs to have a better life. I have used a lot of drugs (mostly cannabis) and lots of porn, in the end it made my life only miserable and less happy. Drugs have been out of the window for a while, now almost month no PMO and really starting to feel happier, more confident, more calm, social (but also a lot of emotions and underlying stuff coming up that i have decided to deal with and not escape from).

    Everyone needs to decide for himself what it is and what works for him/her, these are just my thoughts.. :)
     
  18. Jake1

    Jake1 Fapstronaut

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    for the record, weed definitely has a physical component (depending on the dose). maybe not the weed back in the days, but (depending on country) current weed has THC levels more that 20 levels higher than say 20 years ago. THC is fat soluble and takes weeks to get out of system so detox is naturally more gradual. However unlike alcohol or ghb you can stop immediately without life threatening consequences (delirium --> death) again, it only puts a haze over life/living..
     
  19. fapstronaut1337

    fapstronaut1337 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, weed is not the problem.

    Both are good. You are bad. Alcohol is great as a solvent. Weed can diminish epileptic seizures. You tell me to party once in two or three months? wtf, why can't I party with weed then? Does it have to be alcohol? I am eating a medicine right now that when combined with alcohol could shut down my liver... but weed would not affect it at all.
    But I don't smoke right now because it is illegal and expensive where I live.
    Am I fine with that? No.
    Am I fine without it? Yes.
    Best case would be if it was legal and I could use it with responsibility. Just because salt is legal and delicious on my eggs I wont eat the whole package and die... Which is a bad example because a pound of weed wouldn't kill me. But I hope you get the point, but I guess you don't because you still haven't figured out what OP was trying to say... but atleast you are right in that there is a failure in reading and understanding. I gave you the benefit of the doubt that you might have meant something else but it seems that you are just wrong.
     
  20. fapstronaut1337

    fapstronaut1337 Fapstronaut

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    Are you guys really still trying to argue that porn is an addiction?

    WE AGREE IT IS

    Can cannabis also become an addiction?

    Yes

    Can trying over and over again to explain something to people who never seem to get it become an addiction?

    I am starting to think so.

    Being scared of something never ever helped anyone. What we are trying to impose in this is that if you look at addiction with a new perspective it might be easier to break.
    I am just going to quit here because I've said what I wanted to say and I stand by it.

    I would recommend weed because it makes you more open minded, gives you motivation and aids you in developing in life. I would also say that you should only smoke when you feel good and have food and something to drink (not alcohol ofc).

    So you have been drugfree for a while (how long?) and you only now after quitting PMO are starting to feel happier? I think both of you PMO'd while you where smoking weed and that you never even have smoked weed when you are PMO-free for atleast a month or so? Maybe I am wrong? Do you see what I am saying...
     

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