I have a problem

These quotes were NOTHING MORE than your addiction talking, period. It is the voice in your head (the part of you) that wants to give in to this addiction. There never has been, and there never will be any question about it.... you CAN do this. The question is, will you?

Looking over the edge or not jumping? Be serious about it and make no mistake. You know exactly what choice you should make and which one you shouldn't be anywhere NEAR considering. I won't lie to you, fighting this addiction takes a ridiculous amount of strength, determination, and willpower, but it CAN be done. If it was easy, there wouldn't be an entire 12 step program devoted to helping people recover from this addiction. Yes it is hard, but there are MANY tools and resources to help you fight it.

 

Fuck that voice telling you to PMO. Tell it to die the most painful death you can think of. Because man, PMO is a fucking life sentence. Get angry about it. Dump the PMO and never look back.

 

do you actually hear voices or it is metaphorically written?

 

ThunderWings386, that is real life. I believe everyone on this site can tell you that this is all part of the process of dropping an addiction. While in the throws of addiction, you are listening to the voice that is singing PMO's praises. When you give it up, your comfort in your decision can carry you through a few days. I believe what happens here is that you believe it's an easy fix and your problems are all but solved in a instant.

Than day 5-7 hits and your addiction starts to moan. Assuming you don't give in, it's like a starving hunger pain that is convincing you that you are in need of "that thing." It invades your mind at every which way and is so convincing because it is borne of you. It's not "you" but so embedded in your brain that you can't tell the difference between the voice coming from nowhere or you convincing yourself.

I will echo that this is your addiction talking. Here's how to fight back.

1. Have an accountability partner/someone to talk to irl. It helps. Just being able to talk through what you are feeling can be enough to push through. This can be very powerful when paired with this partner being a person that would benefit by you given up PMO (like a girlfriend, spouse, etc).

2. Posting here or similar sites and using the Panic button. I haven't used it, but I have responded to some needing help. Truth is, you need help. This is a tough one to venture on your own and you hit a point where you feel like you are fighting your natural self. Others can support you in your march to liberty and it's okay to ask for help. The alternative eats at you.

3. Realize that the struggle gets different AFTER the initial withdrawal stage. I speak from my experience which I can openly admit can/might be different than others. For me, after 10-14 days the addiction urges shifted. It wasn't invading my mind like a pain anymore. I wanted to say it's easier after this time, but I'll say it's different. The addiction starts to use different tactics, but I don't believe that mind-assaulting pain will remain the primarily tactic once you get passed that. The voices will probably persist for a good while, maybe forever. I'm at the stage where I can readily identify MY voice and the voice of the addiction. It's like another poster said, you KNOW the right answer. When you get control of your life, you can easily see where YOU ARE THE ONE TALKING and where the addiction is trying to lead you.

4. It's all worth it. Believe me when I say I am speaking to my own freedom here. Daily I have to resist looking for P/. I am at the brink of giving in just to "peek." I see posts like this and am reminded that there is a battle being fought with other soldiers, and I can't fall or turn back. We want you to see this journey all the way through and reap the benefits of success.

5. Replace triggering habits. I need to work more in this area. You will find times you are vulnerable (in the morning/evening, when you are alone, driving home, etc.) You will want to spend your time engaging your mind with something healthy. Maybe get an audio book, go for a walk or play and outdoor sport. Maybe it's listening the new or music. Maybe it's vlogging or spending time with family. You fill in the gap. I recommend it be something that provides tangible benefits like building a relationship and providing you knowledge. I have used vlogging when I stream playing video games as a way to keep my mind on the mend. I'm also in graduate school and work, so I don't have much time "in my thoughts." However, I believe it would be wise to actively engage your mind with something positive.

6. Know that the other voice isn't you. It's not bro. It's NOT YOU. THIS stuff is REAL LIFE! That voice it's interested in your success, your relationships, your job, your health, you family. IT JUST WANTS TO FEED ITSELF AND DIP TO LET YOU SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. You are always able to pick up from where you start, but recognize that you aren't the voice telling you to jump off the cliff.

 

man, honestly 11 days is not great. Try to reach 90!

 

Firstly try to remember what you felt like before you started this journey, why you actually decided to stop watching porn... Whatever pain, stress, anxiety sadness, addiction made you give up.

And then imagine what you're going to feel afterwards if you give in...

 

That is an EXCELLENT point!!! Keeping a journal will help tremendously with this, especially early in recovery. My therapist told me that I should journal, and that it must be handwritten. I told him that if he wants me to hand write a journal, he'll have better luck getting an oak tree to move out of his way. I do NOT write unless I have to....plus I would just hurry through it just to be done with it. Typing things out helps me SOOOOO much more. I can easily edit and rearrange that way. But if you journal your thoughts and feelings, especially when you're tempted and immediately after a relapse, you can then look at those entries later on in your recovery and see what you're avoiding and recovering from when you win the battle!