The Feeling You Get From Abstaining

My longest abstinence streak of 252 days was recently broken, which was brought on by my social and professional diffidence I decided to control with edging. I thought this would be acceptable practice, more than acceptable when watching pornography, to avoid denying myself as a sexual being. Masturbation without visual cues were no good, since my imagination was not my own; it was invoked by residual memories of videos.

While I think masturbation without pornography and a healthy, sexual mindset is a better option, my abstinence from both has given me control over how I feel and act. I know I should find release in less selfish and more meaningful ways, so I have taken to habits that are analogous to who I am and who I am sexually.

Reading each day, writing for myself and others, tutoring families, all have shown me my worth is recyclable and cyclical. Values are learned and taught, inhabited and shared, bringing me my own transparent closure, and I hope transparent closure for those I helped. This feeling you get from abstaining doubles over when you're focus on priorities becomes higher than the feeling you get when aroused. Arousal does not have to rely on what rests between your legs, and after a time, it won't.

The mind and body has more purpose than masturbation or pornography.