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Ejaculation in 30-60 seconds

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by GratifiedSlave, Aug 28, 2019.

  1. GratifiedSlave

    GratifiedSlave Fapstronaut

    Hi there,

    I ejaculate too fast usually within 30-60 seconds or earlier. Is it abnormal? Or is it perfectly alright?
    Can any married person tell me that how long does he usually last in an intercourse without any use of delay medicine?
    The longer I go into NoFap, the quicker I ejaculate. Previously, I had a streak of 300+ days and when it was broken I ejaculated way too fast. I usually wonder that intercourse cant be so short of 30 seconds :/
     
    Deleted Account and Shiva321 like this.
  2. I some what have the same problem. When I'm alone I can hold it back more, but when I'm with a woman it's more easier for me to ejaculate faster. Not sure if its because of the feeling or just that there's a different surface on it. ("From the past") I was usually lasting about 20-30mn. But I remember frequently telling the woman I was with that I was about to you know what, so she had to stop. Intercourse wont be short for you man, build your confidence up. Do lower ab exercises and waste so you'll be stronger. I've been doing abs for over a week now and I'm feeling a difference in my pelvic muscles.

    It will take practice once your with a woman. Also the Penis is one of the most sensitive parts of the male body, in reality were only supposed to hit the bathroom with it and not touch it. So of course it may be easier to ejaculate. I think the best thing to do is not worry about it too much. It will be more sensitive as you're streak goes on. Probably why some of us fail in the process.
     
    Shiva321 likes this.
  3. No, this is too short and you will not be able to satisfy a woman in that time. Yes, I had the same problem. Maybe it is still there, and my wife even complained about it. The only thing that worked was that the second time in the same night was longer. But it is just overwhelming, women are beautiful. When I was a around twenty, I was close to ejaculation when putting on the condom.
    This is embarrassing. The strategy you will find, do not really work:
    1. Making a lot of oral to the woman, so she has some fun at least. But oral pleasure is not as strong as from a penetration and internal ejaculation
    2. Making pauses, changing the position... blabla, all this turns down the woman as well
    3. Kegel exercices. I am not sure these work, I never seriously tried. I can hardly imagine to have internal muscles, strong enough to hold the ejaculation back.

    I will get better, the less you worry about it.
     
  4. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Try relaxing the BC muscle.
     
  5. Breadman

    Breadman Fapstronaut

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    It is quick but in a relationship as you are comfortable it most likely gets better. Personally I like to stay in there and just try to relax when I get close to cuming. When the urgency passes I start up again until my wife wants to end things. If I finish first I always offer to finish her off orally.
     
    Shiva321 and Vendettana like this.
  6. GratifiedSlave

    GratifiedSlave Fapstronaut

    Have you tried some sort of medicines to delay the ejaculation?
     
  7. GratifiedSlave

    GratifiedSlave Fapstronaut

    Isn't 20-30mn way too much? Yeah I do worry about my performance after marriage, I want to last longer without use of any anesthetic medicines, how can it be possible?
     
  8. No, it is somehow wrong. I never considered this to be a physical issue but a psychological. or maybe a physical issue that could be solved with proper training.
    No, never tried that.
     
  9. GratifiedSlave

    GratifiedSlave Fapstronaut

    How long can you hold it if you dont holds and pauses?
     
  10. GratifiedSlave

    GratifiedSlave Fapstronaut

    Oh so it doesnt seems to be a problem bothering you that much. Can you share how long do you last on average?
     
  11. Yeah, I did all of that, it is not satisfying. When I stop, especially inside, it still might be to arousing. I would have to stop for very long before I could continue. The breaks would be longer than the action. And in this time, the woman would come down entirely. T
    To me it was embarrassing to see her getting excited, and then you stop and wait and you can almost hear her thinking "what is he doing? why is he stopping"
    One woman even told me "Don't stop!"
    Next problem is that I can quickly go from "almost finished" to the point where I have ED and it is not getting hard. Now this is the most embarrassing.

    And oral, yes. Like you, I was / am giving a lot of oral because of that issue. I became a king of oral. I like to do this anyway, and I have the impression that women are very surprised they sometimes react as if they never had such a good oral. It makes me happy of course, but my wife told me that oral wasn't the same and that an orgasm from penetration was much much better.

    So, from my point of view, these are workarounds, no real solutions for the problem.

    However, most of us have not seen other men having sex. So we have no other benchmark then porn. And there we see guys doing it hardcore for 40 minutes and then unloading gallons of sperm. This is probably not realistic either.
     
  12. Frankly, when it is really bad, I hardly last two minutes. And it is embarrassing. I just have not found a solution to that problem. When I was 20, and I had a stable relationship, it became better and I could last maybe 15 minutes. So I have told myself, the issues that I currently have might be because of Porn and excessive maturbation (difficulties getting hard and then finishing almost instantly). So I wonder how it gets after my reset and when my wife is back.
     
    Shiva321 likes this.
  13. One thing you could do is penis exercises. I've done them for a while in the past and it has made me fee more in control. There are plenty of sites that explain how to do them, but importantly the best thing to do is always warm your member up. 5mn under a warm towel and then use lubricant, to not damage the skin.
     
    GratifiedSlave likes this.
  14. GratifiedSlave

    GratifiedSlave Fapstronaut

    I dont get how masturbation hurts the timing of penetration. As I mentioned above, the more deeper you go into NoFap(by refraining from masturbation), the more quicker you ejaculate
     
    Shiva321 likes this.
  15. GratifiedSlave

    GratifiedSlave Fapstronaut

    Yeah Porn is not realistic. They lasts way too much which is not practically possible without medications.Not natural at all
    Anyways, I though it was a problem just with me but I think many men are suffering from this without some practical solution
     
    Shiva321 likes this.
  16. GratifiedSlave

    GratifiedSlave Fapstronaut

    Have you tried Kegel exercise? Does it help?
     
  17. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

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    @GratifiedSlave

    There is two part of the ''sensitive ejaculation'':

    Mental: You are too aroused and can't mentally focus on your control and your pleasure + you stress about the fact that you are too sensitive.

    Physical: your PC muscles are weak and you haven't learned to control your arousal (especially because of porn and quick masturbation).

    The solutions are a reframing of your inner dialogue regarding your self-confidence and your ability to last longer. On the physical side, it is doing kegels exercises, masturbate mindfully, and learn how to be fully present and in control of your arousal with deep breathing and relaxing all your muscles.
     
    Shiva321 and need4realchg like this.
  18. The idea is that most guys were masturbating since their adolescence. During that time they were living with their parents and because they were afraid to get caught by them they tried to orgasm as quickly as possible which trains their brains to orgasm quickly from minimal stimulation.
     
  19. Yes, that makes sense: quick masturbation of course conditions you to finish fast. When I was a teen and lived at my parents place, I masturbated quickly in the washing room, it could take too long because they would be suspicious.
    Then, when addicted to porn, I was masturbating quickly because there was actually no pleasure in it, I wanted to done quickly.
    You do this for years and this is how your sex will be.
    Also PIED must be related, because you condition yourself to finish in your hand and not in a vagina.
     
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  20. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

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    Exactly! And also we are genetically ''programmed'' to ejaculate quick as in a scarce world, we had to ''spread the seed'' as fast as possible before to be eaten by the big guys.

    By taking the time to masturbate (20 min minimum with no fantasies), we come back into our body and we are able to recognize the signs of arousal and pleasure.
     
    Shiva321 likes this.

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