soft mode vs. hard mode ?

the main goal it's to leave porn aside, but fapping can cause you to fall you easily. So keep in guard!

 

Relapses are a part of addiction recovery and that you need to understand that you will fail over and over before you succeed, that's just the nature of it. Each attempt you make allows your brain time to recover, so relapses aren't really failure.

And I recommend not masturbating to improve your quality of life.

 

Hey man, I'm glad you've decided to join the club. You've asked a very good question. I have tried every single possible option and the only thing that worked for me, has been a monk mode (complete celibacy). I'd say if you can masturbate (MO) in controlled manner and avoid porn plus you haven't developed PMO induced erectile dysfunction you can opt for soft mode. If you find out that MO leads you back to porn (PMO), I'd try practicing a hard mode or a monk mode.

As @Sleeperhead has written, expect lots of relapses, If you've been addicted. Slips and relapses are part of recovery process. Don't feel guilty or ashamed because of it, it's all part of the game. The important thing is that you keep on trying. You'll break free eventually. Maybe read this article regarding slips and relapses -> Jul 16, 2019 https://www.smartrecovery.org/stopping-a-slip-from-becoming-a-relapse/

 

Soft mode never worked for me, but good luck!

 

Hey, I am doing it on a 'softer' mode.
For me the most important thing is No Porn or Porn-Subs (pictures, half dressed,...). Quit straight away, I don't think you can allow yourself '5min of Porn per day' and still move forward. Quit those straight!

The easiest and best-working approach for me was: No Porn or Porn-subs and MO only every second day! That way, you will have a full day without PMO which will be relativly easy to push through, as you are allowed to MO on the next day anyway (sort of helped my brain a lot).
On the next day you can either MO or not MO, maybe you really don't feel like it and skip it.

In addition to that, set it out clear: Every even day is a NO PMO day! So when there is an uneven day and you really don't feel like MOing or are to busy for it, the next day is even - and BAM, you have a easy three day streak with no effort!

 

I’ve read a lot of success stories and the one thing they have in common is that those who recovered rebooted in hard mode (No porn + no masturbation + no orgasm (including from sex)). A soft mode reboot may be VERY slow or not work at all.

 

Maybe. On the other hand it might urge you to fap even though you don't really want to... . So maybe try to set a time where you are allowed, but where you don't have to - so if at that time your urges are low you could happily choose to not masturbate.

On the hard mode/soft mode reboot thing I have to add to my story is that I did not suffer from heavy porn addiction or PIED in the first place. And for me my live improved to an extend thanks to NoFap, but the changes I made along the way are at least equally important. So I am not sure if you can 'reboot' properly, as I didn't had a strong rebooting need in the first place.

I also can not exclude that a hard mode reboot would be even more beneficial for me. But what I can say for sure is that I wouldn't be able to stick with hard mode so good as I am sticking to my soft mode at the moment.

 

People who do no PM but have sex with their partner (soft mode with O) aren’t having hardcore ED. Some succes stories are talking about that ED Is fixed but in soft mode with sex that isn’t the issue. So soft mode is all about the emotional well being and I think it’s harder to cure that with soft mode because often real sex will be linked with pmo and the chaser can be heavy, so less people do succeed in succeeding soft mode (that’s what I think). I think with quitting porn and masturbation you can heal as well, if you aren’t falling back. Don’t you think so?

 

This is a great question. People often discount soft mode.

Here is how i view it. Start with hard mode, but if if you get to that stage where you really need a release, simply MO to the sensation. For some people they get the chaser but for me it really reduces the appeal of porn. Works differently for different people.

Ultimately porn is the problem. If i dont even look at one porn image or video or p sub for 200 days, and MO maybe 10 times in that period, i would be a hell of a lot better than doing 30 days hard mode and relapse binging.

I wouldn't schedule in MO sessions either, you will end up masturbating too frequently. Every other day is way too frequent. Start with one a week then reduce as much as u can.

In the past few days i went out my comfort zone with a girl i just met. It really changed my perspective. I really dont want porn right now as it just seems like it will damage that. Im definitely gonna stay clear of porn for a long long time now and if i occasionally masturbate then i wont consider it a problem. Eventually ill want to stop both but i think ill need a lot of sex as after 30 days hard mode im usually a walking erection.