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Seeking Answers

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Er3n621, Aug 31, 2019.

  1. Er3n621

    Er3n621 Fapstronaut

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    My names Eren. For several days now I'm constantly relapsing even when I have a lot of confidence and motivation to beat this, urges keep on hitting hard causing me to watch porn and masturbate. I'm slowly becoming weaker. I submit to urges quicker and my desire to watch porn has increased I feel like. I'm constantly fighting tons of battles against myself, everyday I feel the shame and guilt, I let myself down. During all these months my willpower has weakened. I have not given up and I will continue not to, but I need answers, I need advice from you guys. I want to be a better person.
     
    spaces and theFight like this.
  2. Gratefulforchange

    Gratefulforchange Fapstronaut

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    Hey brother keep the faith. It took a long time to get this bad. Stopping can take time as well! I have had to set up a lot of structures to get me through the day. I am not some guru with a lot of time. I have like 10 days today. But that’s more than I’ve had in 5 years probably.
    I get on nofap first thing in the morning. I read and comment on new threads so I feel connected and involved for the rest of the day. I limit my screen time and do my best to click out of anything triggering. Sometimes I put myself on a five minute basis of no PMO. That’s How I have been getting through the hard times. Just for right now, I can look at something else. Or not look at anything at all!
    You will find your way. Even if you PMO today, you can stay free the rest of the day and feel victory! Just don’t give up. That’s the only sure way of losing
     
  3. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    You sound so optimistic and motivated despite your unfortunate predicament. With habits it’s hard to break because there are cues. What do you find yourself doing or thinking about before you relapse friend ? For me it was thinking sexual thoughts and watching potentially triggering material.
     
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  4. theFight

    theFight Fapstronaut

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    stress in life is the main trigger for me. what is your trigger?
     
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  5. Er3n621

    Er3n621 Fapstronaut

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    Mostly the boredom and sometimes the thoughts, Or when i'm at home alone.
     
  6. Er3n621

    Er3n621 Fapstronaut

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    My main trigger is my boredom, But I PMO Before I can do something else that can distract me
     
  7. theFight

    theFight Fapstronaut

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    What excites you in life? Something that truly gives you a dopamine/adrenaline rush, besides PMO?
     
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  8. Er3n621

    Er3n621 Fapstronaut

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    Well, Lots of stuff, Video games, food, Getting good grades. But not as high as PMO
     
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  9. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    Well what can you do for fun then man ? Like movies ? Video games ? Video games aren’t bad, of course gaming all day to replace the pmo isn’t good either but it’s better than pmoing of course.
     
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  10. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Do u excercise?
     
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  11. Er3n621

    Er3n621 Fapstronaut

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    I don't go to the movies a lot since i'm very busy with school, But I'm trying to be occupied a lot with school so I don't even have the chance to PMO
     
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  12. Er3n621

    Er3n621 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, just not as much on schooldays but I try and find time for meditation
     
  13. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    That’s good man, I’m glad for you. Working hard in school and pmoing are very different so it’ll help you to be someone who doesn’t engage in activities that have to do with instant gratification and no work. What are you doing in your free time though ?
     
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  14. Er3n621

    Er3n621 Fapstronaut

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    In my free time, I mostly excercise, and meditate when I can. I usually play some video games or go out and take walks by the beach, and sometimes I go cycling in the evenings. I don't get a lot of free time on schooldays, but when I'm alone and bored and I have nothing to keep me distracted that's when I PMO
     
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  15. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    You are on the right track.
    Excercise is crucial to fight anxiety.
     
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  16. theFight

    theFight Fapstronaut

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    Getting good grades is the way to go. Make that your focus and keep it up. Exercise is good too and doing that every day or every other day is also great. Video games are nice and I use that sometimes too to distract myself. keep up the good work
     
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  17. theFight

    theFight Fapstronaut

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    Never lose the excitement of life. its the only thing that makes this world interesting
     
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  18. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    Good to know your free time activities are good ones. They aren’t congruent with being a PMOer so I think it’ll be easier for you to quit versus someone who just surfs the internet and plays video games all day when not pmoing. Why not just jump onto gaming when you’re bored then ?
     
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  19. Do not think about this as a battle.
    Allow the urge to come. Listen to to it. Let it rise. But gently remind yourself (like a mantra) that while it is normal to feel this urge, you do not have to give in to to it. You can even talk to the urge, saying that you know it wants to be gratified, but you are letting it dissipate, like smoke or steam.
    Don't treat the urge like it's one of Rocky's opponents. Treat it like a pathetic and sad soul that you are permitted to listen to, but not obliged to follow.
     
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  20. Er3n621

    Er3n621 Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed again right now just out of no where, by being alone and finished with my work, i'm starting to feel hopeless. I will take everyones advice and try my best not to give in next time, I will not give up.
     
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