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Problem w/ Girls @ the Gym (trigger warning)

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by questtocure, Aug 20, 2019.

  1. If you really believe this, then clearly you're not in a place in your recovery to be giving others advice. Women wear clothes to the gym that makes them feel comfortable and good about themselves. It's about self improvement and being proud of their accomplishments. Not about being objectified. I guarantee if you objectified any woman at the gym that you don't know, they'd be HIGHLY uncomfortable.
    It's an addict way of thinking to see every woman as a sexual object for you to ogle or objectify. If you're still in this stage in your recovery, I suggest reading some books or listening to podcasts to get past this.
     
  2. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    I suffer from the same issue.
    I go to the gym nearly every day and every day i see a new female wearing sexy clothes.
    They know exactly what they are doing and that is another topic for another day.
    Apply the one second rule. It is really powerful.
    U r allowed one second glance. No matter how sexy she is ,she won't get another glance.
    We as men should never give away our powers.period
     
    ManAtWork and Xhiddy like this.
  3. Black ∆ Fang

    Black ∆ Fang Fapstronaut

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    Completely agree with you.
    I myself don't go to gym but whenever I see a really attractive girl, i just remove my spectacles and put it in my pocket( I've myopia of -3.75) and boom! I can't see anything clearly. Everything seems to be disfigured, so then men=women... physically.

    Plus, I notice that when I remove my spects, I'm able to talk confidently with everyone. So yeah, I must say glasses give you some advantage sometimes.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2019
  4. Black ∆ Fang

    Black ∆ Fang Fapstronaut

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    Do they do this intentionally? Would like to know
     
  5. questtocure

    questtocure Fapstronaut

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    Now I'm not saying you're wrong, but you're not completely right either. It would be foolish to think that girls don't try to attract attention with their bums, albeit wearing these leggings make them feel comfortable and good about themselves. That's not to say that ALL women try to do so for attention but we can't disregard the fact that it happens daily and everywhere you goo, not just the gym (shorts in summer, etc.). Can be applied to all seasons, of course they feel good about them looking good in something, because they know other people find it attractive, sexy, pretty, cute, whatever the reason is.
     
    blacksky98 and AngelofDarkness like this.
  6. I agree with you. Speaking as a woman, I can say that starting at puberty, every girl becomes aware that her body will have sexual power over men. Every girl becomes aware that by the type of clothes she wears, she can control that power. Now that doesn't mean that every girl wearing leggings at the gym or shorts in the summer is doing so with the intention of being objectified. But she is making a conscious choice to wear clothes that happen come with the effect of showing off physical features that every healthy male's brain will read as a signal of fertility and therefore a desirable object for procreation. That however also isn't equivalent to staring at a sexually attractive female in order to fantasize about what she looks like naked and to make your own mental porn film with her. But nevertheless, if I as a woman choose to wear clothes that show off my assets, I am aware that by biological programming any man will notice these assets in a sexual way and therefore I have also made the choice to be sexually objectified, not necessarily because I want to, but because it just has that natural effect on the male observer. However, how much that natural sexual triggerdness affects your body and thoughts, is definitely in your own control.
     
  7. questtocure

    questtocure Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, couldn’t have worded it better. Bravo
     
    Di.Do.555 likes this.
  8. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    100%
     
    Black ∆ Fang likes this.
  9. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

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    If your counter is correct... chill out you are at the very start of your journey. Not objectifying women is a benefit that will manifest in time
     
  10. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Does it happen automatically?
     
  11. questtocure

    questtocure Fapstronaut

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    First off, I’ve been to 34 days, so nah.

    Second off, I love pink floyd lmao, listening to it rn as I type. Good lad
     
    Uncomfortably Numb likes this.
  12. Think of it like this. Objectification is only as harmful as you let it become. You're in the gym to work on your own body image which is somewhat narcissistic. It can be a healthy level of narcissism in that you take your image seriously and maintain it for health reasons and self-esteem. Or it could be negative and develop into an ego problem.

    When you realise that there is nothing wrong with wearing good clothes and wanting to look good, you should be able to stop objectifying people in such a way that you assign such a low level of value to them purely on how they want to dress. You probably don't objectify men who flex their muscles or work hard in the gym grunting and moaning as they try to increase their muscle mass. Instead hopefully you may even look up to these guys and want to aim to try and break your own limits and reach higher and higher goals.

    So, why is it so hard to think of women wanting to do the same thing? Men have sexy clothes that they can also wear. Tight shirts and even singlets that show off muscle mass. Boardshorts that show off legs. We even have the best thing of all, the ability to be shirtless without any social stigma so we can show off abs and pecks.

    Women wear these clothes because they are comfortable and because they are designed to extenuate certain features and areas of their body. Your problem isn't with objectifying women, it's with assigning them an incredibly low level of value as a person simply because they are dressing in a way that makes them feel good about themselves.

    Ultimately humans just want to look and feel good and comfortable with what they wear and what they don't. You are no different. Try to remember that the next time that you look at a woman that is wearing some kind of tight gymshark clothing or w/e; try to remember that above all else, that is what she is comfortable in wearing and if she looks good. She has obviously worked hard for that. For that reason alone you should assign more value to that person just as they have assigned such a level of effort to get to that point.

    In short. It doesn't have to do with objectifying women, it has to do with giving them no value based on what they feel comfortable wearing, and a lack of understanding that they are working as equally hard as you in order to look good.

    Also, god has nothing to do with it, no one was born "in shape", they worked for it as you should know because you are doing the same. Just stop thinking with your dick.

    Hope this is clear enough.

    P.S. Having female friends (and I don't just mean people from the gym) will help you see that women have hopes and dreams too and they also care about their image. It'll also help you start to realise that everyone has a right to dress how they feel comfortable.
     
    Randy and questtocure like this.
  13. Tibo87

    Tibo87 Fapstronaut

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    Refram your ''objectification''. Rather than saying to yourself ''this girl is hot, has a niece body part, etc'' (for example), find something nice and kind to tell about her ''I like her shoes, I like her smile, etc''.

    +1. Talk to women and have female friends.
     
  14. I just want to add, none of this is easy. For a long time, probably longer than I was conscious of it, I was using sexual fantasy to comfort and calm myself. Changing the way I think has been an ongoing process, and I don't claim complete success, only that I'm in a better place than when I started. So please go easy on yourself.
     
  15. No. Women aren’t dressing in revealing clothes to go to a gym to be entertainment for men. We put on comfortable clothes that are easy to work out in and wash. Women can’t work out in burqas.

    Then we rush to the gym to get in a workout for health reasons, to stay in shape, keep energy levels high, to deal with major depression, stress and anxiety. Then we have to find the time to work out while dealing with partners, kids, full time jobs, school, aging parents, handicapped children, sick pets, constant sexual harassment and PTSD from abuse.

    Then go home home and cook, take care of the family if they have one and do housework that their partners won’t help them with. While being grateful that you can get in a couple hours a week to go to the gym and have some time to yourself.

    The world doesn’t revolve around sex and porn addicted men at the gym.
     
  16. People in the gym are trying to get their exercise in to stay fit like the rest of them...dont worry about everything else. Girls are no different. View the gym like that.
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2019
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  17. Go hulk mode and exact revenge by looking like Rock in a sweatshirt! :rolleyes:o_O:)
     
  18. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    No, they do objectify themselves. Most western women do. The ones going to the gym in particular outfits even more so.

    The same way many men wear shorts and a t shirt, women could be wearing the same thing but they choose to wear clothes that emphasize their shapes. Those are not decent at all.

    Its the same thing gym bros do when they wear tight shirts to show off muscles or those tiny low cut gym clothes.
     
    questtocure likes this.
  19. If all western women wore T-shirt’s and shorts to the gym you’d probably complain that they were a bunch of sluts bc their shorts are too tight or too short and their T-shirt’s are vulgar bc their not a size 3x like the men wear and you can still tell that they have breasts.

    How about those swimmers in their trashy tight swimsuits. Or the marathon runners in whatever those outfits are called that they run in. Have you seen synchronized swimmers doing splits in swimming pools. SLUTS. My God the nerve of those gymnasts. THEY NEED TO COVER UP THEIR SLUTTY LEGS AND STOP DOING SINFUL SOMERSAULTS.

    And ballet dancers!!!!! They’re triggering the men folk, doncha know!!

    Whores of Babylon!! Every last one of them. They all need to wear T-shirt’s and shorts like the men do and stop objectifying themselves. Jezebels!
     
  20. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    You're being ridiculous and grasping at straws and at things i never said.
     

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