1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Losing faith in Nofap. Help.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by pa_peace, Sep 4, 2019.

Name the Greatest benefit after your Nofap success.

  1. No more Brain Fog(more clarity)

    12.5%
  2. Confidence

    20.8%
  3. Feel better

    37.5%
  4. No more overthinking

    4.2%
  5. Better working memory

    8.3%
  6. Better focus

    8.3%
  7. No more Anxiety

    8.3%
  1. You said it’s about adding things to our lives. That’s so profound.

    It’s like we’re trying to get our needs met by doing very destructive things, watching P and doing M which adds nothing to our lives.

    But when we add positive things to our lives our compulsion to PM can diminish and maybe, someday, even disappear and our lives can become more rewarding and fulfilling which will make feel better about ourselves.
     
    pa_peace likes this.
  2. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

    4,195
    7,774
    143
    Yes, you can have as many as you trust
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

    706
    631
    93
    Exactly. I tried removing porn and simply abstaining, but my compulsions got stronger and stronger. I heard a lot of people saying it gets easier after 2 weeks, for me it just kept getting harder until I relapsed. Lifestyle is key.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

    1,955
    3,835
    143
    Man, you need a plan, goals to focus your mind on, just focusing on abstention won't do. You'll break and relapse sooner or later. Google "ego fatigue" to get in idea. Abstention is literally mentally exhausting. The trick is to refocus your mind on achieving other tasks and abstention will be much easier to attain.
    My first 90 days always consist of the same routine. I focus doing 1 to 2 hours of aerobic exercise (walking/running/cycling/swimming) 6 times a week plus weight lifting 3 times a week. I do it no matter how shitty I feel. If my knees hurt so that I can't run/cycle I go for a walk, if I can't walk, I can always swim… No excuses. You will still feel like shit most of the time, but you will have a goal to achieve and get endorphin fix to get you through the day. I found out that I don't need so strict exercise routine once I hit 90-120 days monk mark. First 3-4 months are the hardest. You're not out of the bush after hitting 4 months mark but it gets easier if you continue to work on yourself. Someone said addict doesn't need to find himself, he has to recreate himself from scratch to become the best version of himself that he/she can be.
     
    Freeddom_Taker and pa_peace like this.
  5. pa_peace

    pa_peace Fapstronaut

    81
    96
    18
    But this isn't removing PMO from your life. Which is what I want to do. Its about the Idea of living a life without porn. Not how many days you can go without it. You may need to reevaluate your Ideology, but I understand where you are coming from, I do put myself down when I break a streak, that's probably is causing some ripples.
     
  6. pa_peace

    pa_peace Fapstronaut

    81
    96
    18
    I agree but it is affecting your brain chemicals right?. Improving your life overall is something everyone wants, ALWAYS. But just focusing on improving your life, when you have an addiction you have to be aware about, that you should not underestimate, is not right in my opinion. But I agree that overall it is the right thing to focus on while keeping Nofap in mind. The problem is that no activity gives as good a a high as porn, so I doubt any activity ( aside from a relationship) can fulfill that lacking in the brain for dopamine. Thanks for the reply though, it is something to think about for the direction after getting the confidence that you will never watch porn.
     
  7. pa_peace

    pa_peace Fapstronaut

    81
    96
    18
    Makes sense man. But when nothing gives as good a high as PMO, how can you motivate yourself to do productive things at such a time? especially when it is getting depleted from Nofap.
     
  8. No, it isn't removing PMO from your life like an infinite streak, you are right. But for me it helps me to get started. I have started a NoFap 'session' now 4 or 5 times in my life (Where I would be totally into NoFap for a couple of months, made lots and lots of streak attempts and then loose interest again for 1 or two years)
    And everytime I attempted a 'never ever again' streak, I failed after a couple of days. What I might not have said before ist that now I have a positive, but realistic attitude About it. I won't be able to quit PMO or MO from one day to another - Maybe some can do that, Maybe I can do that aswell after 1000+ attempts.

    But for now I have a System that works for me and that makes me feel good. I started to notice the Benefits and I can see myself Living a PMO free live in the future. So that System for me will be used Maybe for one year - after that my Need for PMO could be vanished, or greatly reduced. Then I can still start a 'Standard' streak attempt.

    I am not forcing anyone to try it, but it should be seen as an alternative when the streak attempts seem to get you nowhere :)

    Good luck to you!
     
  9. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

    706
    631
    93
    Look i understand what you're saying. But the simple fact is that you usually relapse because you're missing something in your life.

    For example. Before i met this girl a few weeks ago i was only focussing on abstaining. There was no end game. I also started doing brutal cardio daily and getting up at 7. I start full time next week too and all this makes nofap infinitely easier.

    If you feel extremely vunerable all the time, like youre constantly fighting the urge and you could relapse at any minute, you're going to relapse eventually. You need to build a lifestyle conducive to nofap because that is the only permenant solution. If you abstain for months without changing your life youll still relapse eventually or at least always been hunted by porn.

    Lifestyle has to come first and if thats in place nofap wont be an impossible task anymore. It will be more like not eating sweets or chocolate, as opposed to an invincible demon.
     
  10. pa_peace

    pa_peace Fapstronaut

    81
    96
    18
    Of course. It seems like a good stepping stone. I appreciate your thoughts. I am very binary and this may be why I can't seem to make sense of your approach. If it works for you, that's all that matters.

    I appreciate your thoughts man. Thanks!
     
  11. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

    1,955
    3,835
    143
    It's a matter of just do it attitude. First figure out why YOU want too quit PMO. Reason must be truthful and strong or it will not stick. You have to want to quit badly enough. Make a plan what will you do in the next 12 weeks time and just do it no matter what. I downloaded 12 week 10K running training app on my phone and I stick to the program no matter what. The same with lifting weights I printed down 3 day weekly training program and follow it to the letter, no excuses. There were days when I had so bad insomnia I didn't sleep for 3 days, but I still did the program as painful and uncomfortable as it was. That's how you tell your mind, that no excuses will do and over time your brain will accept it and not try to talk you out of it anymore. Do not negotiate with your mind. You have 5 seconds to do uncomfortable action or your brain will talk you out of it.

    5-second rule (book: The 5 Second Rule - by Mel Robbins)
    Self-discipline is uncomfortable. The brain is programmed to do what's comfortable for it. Neurological research have proved that if you want to accomplish anything uncomfortable, you have 5 seconds to accomplish that, before your brain will start to talk you out of it. For example: As soon as alarm goes off you need to jump straight out of bed.
     
    koolpal likes this.
  12. pa_peace

    pa_peace Fapstronaut

    81
    96
    18
    For me, loneliness and boredom are usually the main core reasons why I relapse. I agree with all you say man, although it is hard to swallow for me.

    Tackling the cues that cause the relapse, rather than overcome the craving. Makes a lot of sense to me.
     
  13. pa_peace

    pa_peace Fapstronaut

    81
    96
    18
    I agree. This community is amazing. Completely. Thanks for the uplifting words man. Let's get it!
     

Share This Page