Soon to be 40 year old virgin, failed as a man, what am I??

It really is NO SHAME at all, that you're a virgin, bro. None at all!!

Because of NoFap, I have realised how special my first time would have been, if it was with someone special.

Rather, you work on your social skills and try to talk to a girl and have a great first time, with her Than doing it with a prostitute, you could care less about.

You are blessed, my friend. You are not a loser. The losers are your friends, who didn't realise how special that feeling is of losing your virginity with someone special.

Trust me.

 

I am 27 and still a virgin, I was struggling with that sort of thought as well.

Talking with family has put it in perspective for me. They say, be glad you dont have a bunch of random kids like some people do that sleep around. A lot of guys have child support to deal with. There are a lot of broken homes and fatherless children running around because of the "casual sex" attitude society has.

I think you need fulfillment, something to strive for. Man I am telling you, I have seen people that are 50+ years old that were living their best lives as single folks. Some people find purpose in the Church, others find it in volunteer organizations. Just being a good friend to your friends can be fulfilling.

 

Focus on becoming the best version of yourself. One day at a time.

 

Sorry for your situation, you couldn't expect to have good sex the first time you have it. Most of the people i know, including myself, had a bad first time and we were in our teen years! Imagine that multiplied 10 times couse you're quiete far from your teens

After the first time i had sex i felt exactly like you feel now, and the girl i had sex with wasn't even a prostitute.

My advice is to not give up, prostitute or not try to have sex a bunch of times, and keep going on nofap of course.

 

Why do you base your success as a man on whether or not you've had sex before? Don't you think that's a bit narrow minded?

 

Shit mate, sounds like youre having a rough time of it. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. However, I have good news for you. You're not broken, you're not a failure. You're just fine. It's just your vision is being blocked by this big monster people have created in your head. I have a story that might help.

One day, when I was really depressed, I wrote a list of all the things I didn't like about myself. The list was pretty long, maybe 30 things. After a while I had forgotten about the list.

A month later, i found the list and could not stop laughing at how much of a miserable cunt I was. I couldn't believe that I was in a state where I was that miserable about my life.

What changed? Nothing on the list changed. Everything I didn't like about myself was still present but my mindset had changed. I learned about gratitude and practiced gratitude for that month. I had spent so long tunnel visioning on the stuff that was terrible about my life that I didn't even consider the things that were great about my life. I wasn't that attractive but shit man, I was in perfect health. PERFECT FUCKING HEALTH, how amazing is that!? My family is really poor but I'm 1st world poor! I have food, a house, clothes, I'm doing great!

What I'm trying to say is that this one issue that is huge to you, is blocking your view from all the blessings you have been given and all the great attributes you possess.

You're not a failure.

 

Well, you are a 40 year old virgin. You think you are a loser, and many others do, but...
... if you find a woman, with whom you start a relationship she will be happy, cause she knows she is your first and only one.

And that is something many woman are wishing for, but many guys can’t give that, but you can!

@Failed Man for me you are not a failure, you are a failure when you give up, and stop working on yourself, then yes, then you truly are a failure, but not because you are virgin.
I am also a virgin, and I am happy that I did not change woman like socks.

I really wished that I even never came in contact with porn.

Keep going, work on yourself, don’t give up!

 

Take it one day at a time, soon you will be in better space and might even have confidence to socialize with woman..

How often do you watch porn and masturbate?

 

it starts now man. not next year. That's the attitude that got you to the place you are at right now. We are supposed to survive every day. you can build today. Choose to build today. I don't have women to choose from, but I will say that at some point I realized that once you can impress yourself, you will notice other people you desire will start to get impressed by you.

 

you'll make it

 

you need to stop with your toxicity

 

Yeah there may be a few! But not every woman!